Pretty nasty, huh?
Took seven stitches to close that up.
Picked a bar fight with a mirror.
Turned out I was giving myself the finger.
All right, all right,
I'm just getting warmed up.
22 stitches doing stunts on The Hangover.
23 doing mushrooms with a hangover.
Fine, it's a tie.
That was smooth.
The dipsy-doodle with your phone.
It was just a text.
Come here, let me see that sexy scar on your neck again.
So who is she?
What are you talking about?
The woman who just texted you.
Don't worry, I'm not judging you.
I'm just trying to figure out how to roll you into traffic.
You really think I'm fooling around on you?
Why else would you look at a text and turn your phone over?
- It's not a woman. - Then let me see it.
No, it's private.
Hey, I don't keep secrets from you.
Look me in the eye and tell me that's true.
It's not important.
I didn't flip the phone.
Are you really gonna let this ruin our night?
Nice. You're the one sleeping with someone
and I'm ruining our night.
"A trial is closed to the public
only when it's necessary to..."
protect trade secrets,
avoid intimidation of witnesses
Come on, you saw this on Law & Order.
...protect the identity of a juvenile.
The prosecution rests.
And maybe dies.
Oh, that doesn't sound good.
It's just allergies.
Or maybe malaria.
What are you doing home?
Adam's cheating on me.
I mean, oh, no.
How do you know?
He got a text and turned over his phone.
What'd the text say?
I don't know, he wouldn't show it to me.
Well, Mom, then your evidence is just circumstantial,
which is especially problematic in civil cases
where evidence is lacking.
So what'd you do?
我还能怎么做 我把他狠狠干了一顿 然后走了
Well, what could I do? I screwed his brains out and left.
That'll show him.
Show him what?
A woman had sex with him, then disappeared?
Isn't that every guy's dream?
The point is, he'll be thinking about me
when he has sex with her.
Don't guys do that anyway?
Hey, I support you when you do dumb stuff.
You really like him, don't you?
How does me wanting to kill him mean I like him?
Because you only kill what you love.
Sounds like somebody woke up from his postcoital nap.
Aw, he wants to know that I got home okay.
I need to become a lawyer so I can move away from this.
Your first course will be right out.
Are you all right?
Oh, yeah, I just got to lay off the cigars.
别担心 保罗 把这个端给餐馆工
Not to worry. Uh, Paul, give these to the busboys.
Why don't you and the bubonic plague go home?
Ooh, an energy drink.
What are you, four years old?
I just got to get through this shift.
Then do what the rest of us do: go out into the alley
and snort a line of blow like a grown-up.
Did you forget I'm sober?
Did you forget that I don't care?
好了 一份香料脆皮鲈鱼 一份
All right, one crispy sea bass and one...
Brown v. Board of Education.
1954, separate schools are not equal.
抱歉 期末考试要到了 我要做律师
Sorry, I've got finals. I'm gonna be a lawyer.
Yeah, and this hamburger gonna be a steak.
It's snowing in the alley.
谢谢 雷蒙 去抽可♥卡♥因♥吧
Uh-huh. Thank you, Ramone. Cocaine break.
真的吗 两天时间 19通电♥话♥
Really? Two days, 19 phone calls,
about a hundred text messages,
you just ignore me?
Sorry, I just thought you'd be busy with your other girlfriend.
邦妮 别说了 没有别人
Bonnie, stop. There is no one else.
Then why'd you turn your phone upside down?
You do know that is the international symbol for wandering boner.
I did not know that. Okay.
Look, the other woman is a stuntman named Mitch.
She's six-three, about 220,
and lost a testicle
while working on Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2.
"Don't be a jerk, come to the reunion."
A bunch of my old crew
are getting together in L.A. this weekend.
I don't want to go and I didn't feel like explaining why.
So, you'd rather me think you were seeing someone else
than just tell me what was going on?
Well, I'd rather you just trust me.
Oh, Adam, the words "Trust me" Just mean
there's no cash in the locker at the bus station.
Bonnie, even if I wanted another woman,
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