You know, I don't really think about drinking much anymore,
but I got to tell you, I was on a date last weekend, and...
this girl was such an whack job.
It's a miracle I didn't start shooting heroin
before the salad showed up.
Hey, he's talking about me!
I mean, I think I spent the entire night listening to her complain
about her nightmare of a mother.
I know we're not supposed to judge anybody here,
but whoever's sponsoring this girl
isn't qualified to sponsor a bowling team.
All right, who'd like to share next?
Well, that's it. We are gonna have to find a new meeting.
Shake it off.
Shake it off? I was humiliated.
Why would you talk about me on your dates?
I think they have a right to know why I'm so broken.
The point is we can't go back to that meeting.
No, the point is don't date men in the rooms.
Where else am I supposed to meet them?
You told me not to screw around at the restaurant.
No, I told you stop sleeping with your married boss.
That still leaves you all those single dishwashers and busboys.
That's tough; they all live together.
There's plenty of other places to meet nice fellas.
We should all go out together.
Your mom and I can be your wing-gals.
Did I say it wrong?
That's not a bad idea.
How about tomorrow night?
Roscoe's gonna be with his dad, and Violet's gonna be...
我不知道 不管她和我说什么 都是骗我
I don't know. Wherever she tells me, it'll be a lie.
Tomorrow's no good; I have plans with your dad.
好吧 玛乔丽 就咱俩了
All right, Marjorie, it's just us.
不 亲爱的 只有你了
No, honey, it's just you.
I have a date with Victor.
Your old landlord, Mr. Perugian.
That's still happening?
Yeah, kind of.
He drove me to chemo last Tuesday,
so you might say things are heating up.
Hey, you could still go out, though.
Call another friend.
Yeah. Yeah, I'll do that.
Who are you thinking?
I don't know.
菲比 莫妮卡 瑞秋
Phoebe, Monica, Rachel.
Those were the girls on Friends.
And then she tells me she's a maitre d' at this fancy restaurant
'cause she's too embarrassed to say she's a waitress.
Fine! We get it!
I'm a loser, I'm a liar,
I'm a whack-job!
Okay, now we need to find a new coffee shop.
Yep. Baxter just picked him up.
Hey, you look nice.
You look... comfortable.
I thought you were gonna get out there and meet people.
You know, I was,
but then I got to thinking, I never have time to myself.
I need to take advantage of it.
So you're gonna masturbate.
I call it "Making love."
Okay, well, have fun.
I will. You, too.
- Christy? - Yeah?
Keep it on your side of the bed.
A whole night to myself.
I am all alone.
*I'm alone, I'm alone*
*But I'm not lonely*
*Hey, I'm no phony*
*'Cause I'm not lonely*
*我独自一人 独自一人 独自一人*
*I'm alone, I'm alone, I'm alone*
*But I'm not lonely...*
You're not alone.
I am on the inside.
See you later.
Where you gonna be?
Okay, just make sure the library uses a condom.
I can do anything I want.
Question is: What to do first?
Why does it take so long when I'm with a guy?
This is delicious, Alvin.
When did you learn to cook?
Couple years ago, I took some classes.
Really? What inspired that?
My wife and I weren't getting along real well,
and I was hungry.
Oh, you poor baby.
Leave room for dessert.
Ooh, what's that?
Chilled whipped cream, a sprig of mint
and my world-famous nuts.
Then I should probably skip these little potatoes.
Why did a picture of Godzilla just come up on your phone?
What picture do you have of me?
Well... how's that?
Go get the mint.
Whoa, Tokyo's in trouble.
-如果你要接 就接吧 -你不介意吗
- If you need to answer it, answer it. - You don't mind?
-没事 去吧 -我马上好
- It's fine. Go. - Just be a minute.
Nothing, just watching the game.
What can I do for you?
It's not my house anymore, which means it's not my roof,
which means it's not my leak.
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