你有多少朋友
How many friends do you have?
比你好的一个没有
None better than you.
我没下套
It's not a trick question.
我在想我们该邀请
I'm thinking about how many people
多少人来我们婚礼
we should invite to our wedding.
我们可以邀请认识的所有人
We could invite everyone we know,
大概150个人吧
which is about 150 people.
或者我们真喜欢的人 只有六个
Or people we actually like, which is six.
六个挺好的
I'm good with six.
从另一个方面来说
On the other hand,
如果我们要办全套婚礼的话
if we're gonna do the whole shebang,
难道不该在
shouldn't we shebang
一群欢呼的人面前办吗
in front of a wildly cheering crowd?
我有个想法
Here's a thought.
我们何不先找到办婚礼最心仪的地方
Why don't we find the perfect place for our wedding
然后看看那地方能容下多少人
and let that tell us how many people to invite?
天啊 你真实际
God, you're so practical.
为什么这让我性趣大发
What's wrong with me that it turns me on?
要我给你做早饭吗
You want me to make you some breakfast?
我今早有合同课
I have my contracts class this morning.
之前不能吃固体食物
No solid food before that.
是那个称你为"挂科"克丽丝蒂的教授吗
Oh, is that the professor who calls you Christy "Flunk-it"?
她以为自己很聪明
She thinks she's really clever,
但我在幼儿园就听过了
but I heard that in kindergarten.
我只是想激励你
I was just trying to motivate you.
如果客人能缩减到四个
You know, if we get the guest list down to four,
我们可以在我的车里结婚
we could get married in my car.
这是我听过最实际的话了
That's the most practical thing I've ever heard.
脱裤子
Take off your pants.
那么
So, um,
法庭认为相应损害赔偿金
the court held that consequential damages could
只能在双方达成协议时
only be levied if both parties
皆知情的情况下才能征收
were aware of them when the contract was made,
而哈德利
and... Hadley
没有告诉巴克森代尔
didn't do that to Baxendale,
所以你知道
so, you know...
没钱
no bueno.
"挂科" 这个回答基本正确
Well, Flunk-it, that was a fundamentally correct answer
不过你像一只卡♥通♥老鼠一样没有自信
delivered with the confidence of a cartoon mouse.
谢谢
Thank you.
还有没有谁能在
Can someone else disappoint me
沙利文诉奥康纳案上令我失望
with the particulars of Sullivan v. O'Connor?
哈特先生 你总是让我觉得悲哀
Mr. Hart, you always make me sad.
沙利文是个娱乐界人士...
Sullivan was an entertainer...
我手抖得太厉害 记不了笔记
My hand is shaking too bad to take notes.
我能借你的笔记吗
Can I borrow yours?
我没在写笔记
I'm not taking notes.
我在写"别哭 别哭 别哭"
I'm writing, "Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry."
极品老妈 第六季第三集
教授严厉我懂
I understand a professor being tough,
但这女人就是刻薄
but this woman's just mean.
多刻薄 从1到10来说
How mean? Like, on a scale of one to ten,
1是玛乔丽 10是邦妮
one being Marjorie, ten being Bonnie?
我这么说吧
Let me put it this way.
想象一下我妈受过教育
Imagine my mother, but educated.
上完最后一课后 我坐在车里哭
After my last class, I sat in my car and just cried.
然后我看向旁边的车
Then I looked at the car next to me
发现另一个同班同学也在哭
and saw another guy from class crying, too.
他看到了我 我们相视一笑
He saw me, we laughed a little,
然后继续哭
then we went back to crying.
我试着起床先哭一遍
I try to do my crying right when I wake up,
发泄出去
get it all out of my system.
然后晚上再哭着入睡
Until bedtime when I cry myself to sleep.
温蒂 一切还好吗
Wendy, is everything okay?
很好 从没有更好过 怎么了
Yeah. Never better. Why?
你要我的水果吗
You want my fruit?
你可以吃我的水果
You can have my fruit.
亲爱的 如果你有时间哭
Sweetie, if you have time to cry,
你就有时间参加互助会
you have time to go to a meeting.
我相信你学校周围肯定有
I'm sure there's one near your school.
我确实经过了一座外面有紧张吸烟者的教堂
I did pass a church with a bunch of jittery smokers outside.
我会去看看的
I'll check that out.
好了 女士们 放下叉子 要事
Okay, ladies, forks down. This is important.
我找到了我和亚当结婚的完美地点
I found the perfect place for me and Adam to get married.
-终于 -太好了 -很好
- Finally. - u202dGreat. u202d- Wonderful.
装得真像
Way to sell it.
总之 是一个美丽的花♥园♥
Anyway, it's this beautiful garden.
绿树成荫 鲜花遍地
There's a canopy of trees, it's lousy with flowers,
听好了 还有潺潺流水
and-- get this-- there's an actual babbling brook,
潺潺地流过路口
babbling right through the joint.
我们结婚那天没人订
It was available for our date,
其他客人在问东问西
and these other people were sniffing around,
所以我当场就订了
so I booked it right on the spot.
气死你们 超帅的同性恋情侣
Take that, bizarrely- handsome gay couple.
-听起来不错 -专心听 太糟了
- Sounds great. - u202dPay attention. It's terrible.
她真会抽人鞭子 不是吗
She really gives you whiplash, doesn't she?
我愚蠢地告诉亚当我在乎他的感受
I stupidly told Adam that I cared about his opinion
我想让他参与一切策划
and wanted him to be involved in all the plans
然后我背着他做了最重要的决定
and then I made the most important decision behind his back.
我该怎么办
What should I do?
你以后要嫁给这个男人 对他说实话吧
This is the man you're gonna marry. Be honest with him.
这回答我不满意 克丽丝蒂
Not what I'm looking for. Christy?
-我支持说实话 -不行
- I vote truth. - u202dNope.
-我也... -停
- I would also... - u202dEh.
傻瓜才说实话
Truth is for chumps.
我就知道该先问你
I knew I should've started with you.
根据我的经验
In my experience,
问男人要你想要的东西的最好办法
the best way to get what you want from a man
就是让他以为那是他的主意
is to make him think it's his idea.
我要来了房♥子 我要来了假期
I've done it with houses, I've done it with vacations,
我要回了我自己
I've done it with me.
我喜欢这点子 继续说
I'm liking this. Go on.
带他先去你喜欢的那地方 抬高标准
Take him to the place you like first. That sets the bar.
然后带他去几个烂地方 我保证
Then take him to a couple of dumps and I guarantee you,
他会选择你已经订下的那个地方
he'll decide he likes the one you already booked.
问题是 邦妮 你愿意
Question is, Bonnie, are you comfortable
这样操纵人心吗
being that manipulative?
或许真正的问题是 我为何多此一问
Or maybe the real question is why do I waste my breath?
我觉得你需要水果
I think you need the fruit.
你还好吗
You okay?
我今早过得很糟糕
I had a really tough morning.
那你来对地方了
Well, you're in the right place.
我知道 谢谢
I know. Thank you.
我只是很难...
I'm-I'm just having such a hard time with...
不
Oh, no.
我依然能闻到
I'm still smelling the jasmine
那个美丽花♥园♥的茉莉花香
from that beautiful garden venue.
但别想那地方了 因为我们现在到了
But get that out of your mind, because here we are
历史悠久的马里诺和儿子们的木桶作坊
at the historic Marino and Sons Barrelworks.
挺酷的
It's kind of cool.
我同意 不够好
I agree, not good.
我喜欢高屋顶
Oh, I like the high ceilings.
是的 但是
Yeah, but...
这里以前是木桶作坊
it used to be a barrel factory.
我娶的女人以前是个可♥卡♥因♥瘾君子
I'm marrying a woman who used to be a coke fiend.
显然我不介意以前是什么样
Clearly, what something used to be doesn't bother me.
说的好
Fair enough.
砖墙挺好的
The brick walls are great.
是啊 直到我被它擦伤
Yeah, until I scrape up against them
鲜血沾满婚纱
and bleed all over my wedding dress.
没错 我要穿婚纱