我病了一天 他们就决定
So, I'm out sick one day, and that's the day
在那天选学习搭档
they decide to pick study partners.
现在我只能选整天戴领结的古怪男
Now I have my choice between the weird dude who always wears a bow tie
或者用羽毛笔写字女了
or the girl who writes with a feather pen.
选领结男
Take bow tie guy.
-他很聪明 -你怎么知道
- He's a smarty. - How do you know?
拜托 衡量男人智力的标准
Oh, come on, when judging a man's intelligence,
领结 领带 不戴 饰扣领带
it goes bow tie, straight tie, no tie, bolo tie.
当然了 如果是看性能力
Of course, if you're looking for sex,
顺序相反
it goes the other way.
这是真的 我的维克托
That's true. My Victor used to wear
以前偶尔会戴饰扣领带
a bolo tie on occasion.
冷场是因为他死了
Did it get awkward because he's dead
还是因为我在谈论我的性生活
or because I'm talking about my sex life?
两者都有
Little bit of both.
天啊 塔米
Geez, Tammy,
打开盖子直接蘸吧
you could just take the lid off and dip 'em.
抱歉 在监狱里 只能加一次料
Sorry. In prison, you only get one crack at the shaker.
我实现梦想了
I'm living the dream.
在我忘记之前 我明天要整理衣帽间
Oh, before I forget, I'm cleaning out my closet tomorrow.
-如果谁想要什么... -我去
- If anybody wants anything... - I'm in.
没有包包和珠宝
No bags, no jewelry.
我不去
I'm out.
你穿几号♥鞋
What size shoe do you wear?
你八岁时穿的那个号♥
The size you wore when you were eight years old.
你是男10码啊
Oh, you're a man's size ten?
-我去 -我也去
- I'll come. - u202dMe too.
很好 衣帽间派对
Great. Party in my closet.
这词以前意味着我喝醉了找不到出去的路
That used to mean I was so drunk i couldn't find my way out.
女士们 要甜点吗
You ladies want some dessert?
-不要 买♥♥单 -给
- No, just the check. - Here you go.
你们很急吗 我挺享受一起聚的
Oh, are we in a hurry? I was enjoying the company.
真的吗 你不急着回去找你的爱...
Really? You wouldn't rather get home to your loving hu...
爱猫吗
hu-hu-hu... horde of cats?
救得不错
Nice save.
对不起
I'm sorry.
你还好吗
Are you doing okay?
还好
Okay.
维克托去世后我很孤独
It's just been real lonely since Victor passed.
我明天没什么计划
Well, I don't have any plans tomorrow
如果你想过来
if you want to come over and...
聚聚
hang out.
那太好了
That would be wonderful.
极品老妈 第六季第七集
看看谁大中午了还躺在床上
Look who's still in bed as the clock strikes noon.
嘘 正在播《沙漠动物营救》
Shh. Desert Animal Rescue is on.
他们在从化粪池里救土狼
They're pulling a coyote out of a septic tank.
可怜的家伙不知道他们想救它
Poor fella doesn't know they're trying to help.
该死
Oh, damn it.
你在这里我也不高兴
I'm not thrilled you're in here either,
但咖啡放在这里
but it is where we keep the coffee.
不是说你 我想和亚当吵架
It's not about you. I'm trying to fight with Adam,
但自动更正总美化我的话
but auto correct keeps making my texts nice.
我想说"舔菊怪" 不是"小可爱"
I meant to say "Butt munch," Not "Butter munchkin."
他是你的小可爱
Aw. He's your little butter munchkin.
他刚取消了我们的晚餐
Who just canceled our dinner plans
为了去见酒吧高脚凳推销员
so he could meet with the barstool salesman.
他要开酒吧
He's opening a bar.
没凳子醉鬼怎么摔下去
Drunks need something to fall off of.
我不想说得自私 但我更喜欢
I don't want to sound selfish, but I liked it better
他生活空虚 无事可做
when his life was empty and he had nothing to do
只关注我的时候
but pay attention to me.
拜托 向安全带游
Come on, swim to the harness.
他们是你的朋友
They're your friends.
-你对她有什么计划 -没有计划
- What is the plan with her? - There is no plan.
她要在这里住一辈子吗
So she's gonna live here forever?
希望不会 但有可能
I hope not, but maybe.
你知道她把我们的沙发叫她的房♥间吗
You know she refers to our couch as her room?
我很抱歉 但我不能赶她走
I'm sorry, but I can't just kick her out.
我不要你赶她走
I don't want you to.
实际上我要 但那样说我感觉自己很坏
Actually, I do, but it makes me feel bad about myself.
克丽丝蒂 我在这里很舒服
Hey, Christy, I'm super cozy out here.
你介意再给我拿点果脆圈吗
You mind grabbing me some more Froot Loops?
马上来
Coming.
快想办法 小可爱
Figure it out, butter munchkin.
谁啊
"Who dis?"
不好笑
Not funny.
好了 谢谢 克丽丝蒂
When. Thanks, Christy.
我的荣幸
My pleasure.
我能告诉你一件事吗
Hey, can I tell you something?
我非常感激你和你妈妈收留我
I am so grateful to you and your mom for taking me in.
我不知道没了你们我会流落何处
I don't know where I'd be without you.
不客气 你想住多久都行
Of course. Stay as long as you need.
心软
So weak.
玛乔丽 进来吧
Hey, Marjorie, come on in.
-玛乔 -你们好 女士们
- Marge! u202d- Hey, hello, ladies.
妈妈 你的玩伴来了
Mom, your play date is here.
我很期待今天
I've been really looking forward to this.
好的 你们俩孩子玩得开心
All right, you kids have fun.
别打整蛊电♥话♥ 别玩烤箱
No prank phone calls, and don't use the oven.
看看你 早来了40分钟
Well, look at you, 40 minutes early.
抱歉 我太期待了
Oh, sorry, just excited.
我昨晚就在日历上给今天打了个圈
I've had today circled on my calendar since last night.
你想做什么
So, what do you want to do?
我想着我会在这里待一整天
Well, I figured I'd be here all day,
所以我带来了拼图
so I brought a puzzle.
天啊 拼图
Oh, my God, a puzzle?
天啊 一整天
Oh, my God, all day?
感谢你们帮助我
Thanks for helping me out.
非常乐意
Happy to.
实际上 我已经清空了我的衣橱
In fact, I already cleaned out my closet
留空间给从你衣帽间拿的东西
to make room for all the stuff I'm gonna get from your closet.
还有 我是你的朋友 我爱你
And also, I'm your friend and I love you.
我应该警告你们 我的衣帽间有点乱
I should warn you: my closet's a little messy.
我相信没什么...
Oh, I'm sure it's no big...
我了个去
Holy balls.
你炒了你的管家吗
Did you fire your housekeeper?
还是说她被埋在这堆东西里了
Or is she buried under all this stuff?
我不再让贝琳达进这屋了
I don't let Belinda come in here anymore.
我发现过她戴我帽子模仿我
Caught her wearing one of my hats and imitating me.
好 开始吧
Okay, let's do this.
吉尔 给我们拿四个垃圾袋 我们开始分类
Jill, go get us four trash bags and we'll start sorting.
这就去
I'm on it.
为什么要四个袋子
Why four bags?
丢的东西 捐的东西 你和我的战利品
Stuff to toss, stuff to donate. Your haul, my haul.
如果我们要同一样东西怎么办
What do we do if we both want the same thing?
别考验我 温蒂 别考验我
Don't test me, Wendy. Don't test me.
群狗
"Dogs Galore," Huh?
怎么回事 你找到不到群猫吗
What happened, you couldn't fine "Cats Galore"?
我已经拼过群猫了
I've already done Cats Galore.
还有群猫2
and Cats Galore Two.
众猫要到三月才有货
Cats Aplenty is on back-order till March.
看 我拼好了这小家伙的脸
Hey, look, I put together this little fella's face.
很棒 塔米 但标准拼图程序
Oh, that's great, Tammy, but standard puzzling procedure
要求我们从边缘拼起
dictates that we start with the edges.
边缘 角落
It goes edges, then corners,
色群 边角色
then color clusters: E-C-C.
恭喜 你刚让无聊的事
Congratulations, you just took an unfun thing
变得更无聊了
and made it less fun.
在监狱 拼图总会导致打架
In prison, every puzzle led to a fistfight.
但阳光也是如此