Then again, so did daylight.
我经历过最糟糕的监狱暴♥动♥
Well, worst prison riot I was ever in
是拼字游戏引发的
was over a game of Scrabble.
我们快拼完了 然后一个新女孩
We were almost finished, and then the new girl swallowed
吞下了字母W 因为有人说上面有酸
the W 'cause someone told her it was laced with acid.
我讨厌拼字游戏
I hate Scrabble.
牵涉到了拼写和数学
It's got spelling and math.
简直就像上学大礼包
It's just school in a box.
无意冒犯 玛乔丽 但你不像蹲监狱的人
No offense, Marjorie, but you don't seem like the prison type.
感谢39年的恢复
Thanks to 39 years of recovery.
以及这副有链条的眼镜
And these glasses on a chain.
你是为什么蹲监狱的
So, what-what were you in for?
抢银行
Bank robbery.
这是个角
Here's a corner.
等等 你抢过银行吗
Wait, you robbed a bank?
那钱是为了正义的政♥治♥理由抢的
The money was for a righteous political cause.
而且我很想买♥♥斯泰彭沃弗剧院的票
And, uh, I really wanted tickets to Steppenwolf.
太酷了 你有自己的理由
Man, that is so cool. You had a reason.
我抢澳拜客牛排店是因为抽嗨了
I robbed an Outback Steakhouse 'cause I was high
而且澳拜客牛排店恰好在那里
and there was an Outback Steakhouse.
我讨厌拼图
Ugh, I hate puzzles!
沮丧又无聊
They're so frustrating and boring.
我拼上了一个
Ooh, I got one.
谢谢 谢谢
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
我要穿这个去上周一的课
I am so wearing this to class Monday.
我最好读材料 因为我肯定会被点名
Better to my reading because I'm definitely getting called on.
穿你身上真美
Oh, that looks so good on you.
我还是留下吧
I'm gonna keep it.
不能再试穿了
Got to stop trying stuff on.
对这件衣服你改主意了吗
Did you change your mind about this, too?
没有
I did not.
吉尔 那是真皮草吗
Jill, is that a real fur?
是的 我从没有机会穿过
Sure is. And I never got a chance to wear it.
我离开商店时被几个
Couple of angry animal people got me
愤怒的动保分子袭击了
on the way out of the store.
他们好样的
Good for them.
你猜怎么着 我想留下这件夹克
You know what, I do want to keep that jacket.
装晕
Go limp.
好吧 给你了
Fine, keep it.
谢谢
Thank you.
这个我不会想要的
Oh, here's something I'm not gonna want back.
我喜欢
Ooh, I like that.
标价签还在
Oh, it still has the price tag on it.
这相当于110件帽衫
Wow, this is, like, 110 hoodies.
加一辆车
And a car.
我在正式离婚那一天买♥♥的
Yeah, I bought that the day my divorce became final.
巴克斯特和我离婚时
Ugh, the day Baxter and I got divorced,
我奖励了自己一杯三叶草奶昔
I treated myself to a Shamrock Shake.
-你没事吧 -没事 只是想到那时候很难受
- You okay? - Yeah, it's just hard to think about that time.
那就别想了
Well, let's not, then.
这里有什么
What's in here?
我的婚纱
That's my wedding dress.
拉上
Zip it, zip it, zip it!
来吧大伙儿 衣帽间派对
Come on, guys, it's a closet party.
摇一摇
Shimmy, shimmy, shimmy.
对不起 你说得对
I'm sorry, you're right.
天啊
Oh, my God.
你什么时候坐大篷车穿过草原的
When did you cross a prairie in a covered wagon?
你怎么想的啊
What were you thinking?
那是我怀孕时买♥♥的
I bought that when I was pregnant.
我本来要穿着参加宝宝派对
I was gonna wear it to my baby shower.
我一定是流产之后 把东西
I must have sh-shoved everything in that drawer
都塞进那个抽屉里了
after I had the miscarriage.
装晕
Go limp.
没关系
It's okay.
真软
It's so soft.
我知道
I know.
也许我们继续整理衣帽间能让你感觉好些
Maybe you'd feel better if we got back to to cleaning your closet.
这不是衣帽间
This isn't a closet.
这是我所有失败的陈列馆
It's a museum of all my failures.
或者成就你今天的陈列馆
Or it's a museum of the things that made you the person you are today.
一个离婚无子的失败者
A divorced, childless failure.
我想说的是一个坚强戒瘾
I was going for a strong, sober woman
衣帽间里有枝形吊灯的女人
who has a chandelier in her closet.
这没有任何意义
It doesn't mean anything.
想让我下楼给你倒点水吗
Want me to go downstairs and get you some water?
你不用去别处 打开那个橱柜
You don't have to go anywhere. Just open that cabinet.
枝形吊灯和冰箱
A chandelier and a refrigerator.
如果这不代表成功 我不知道还有什么能代表
If that doesn't say winner, I don't know what does.
你不知道依然一团糟
You just have no idea what it's like
是什么感受
to still be such a train wreck.
你在说什么
What are you talking about?
我的中间名就是一团糟
My middle name is train wreck.
我加入了两个12步戒瘾计划
I'm in two 12-step programs
而且我都是去墨西哥治牙的
and I get all my dental work done in Mexico.
但你没有复发
But you never relapsed.
你不知道再次戒瘾有多难
You don't know how hard it is to get sober again.
所以我经常购物
I mean, that's why I shop so much--
为了让自己分心
to distract myself.
瞧
Look--
皮裤
leather pants.
我是谁啊 摇滚女歌♥佩·班娜塔吗
I mean, who am I, Pat Benatar?
我爱她
I love her.
如果你这么难过 为什么不分享呢
If you've been this upset, why haven't you shared about it?
因为我很难堪
'Cause I'm embarrassed.
你们的情况都很好
You guys are all doing so well.
而我抛弃了坚持三年的戒瘾
All I've done is throw away three years of sobriety.
但你回来了 但才是重要的部分
But you're back, and that's the important part.
有什么大不了的
Big whoop.
我的人生完全是在浪费时间
My life's a complete waste of time.
知道吗 叮铃铃
Okay, you know what? Ting-a-ling-a-ling.
那是什么
What's that?
那铃♥声♥意味着该停止自怨自艾派对了
That bell means it's time to shut down the pity party.
叮铃铃
Ting-a-ling-a-ling.
你想对我用严厉的爱吗
Are you trying to tough love me?
当然是
I sure as hell am.
你真可爱
Oh, you're so cute.
该死 这不是帽子 是狗狗的舌头
Damn it. This isn't a hat, it's a puppy tongue.
我这里有超多舌头
Well, I got a boatload of tongues over here
如果有人需要的话
if anyone needs 'em.
说真的 你在囤积舌头吗
Seriously, you're hoarding tongues?
那又如何
Yeah, what of it?
冷静点
Easy, easy.
不如我们休息会 吃点午餐吧
What do you say we take a break and have some lunch?
不 拼完之前不能吃东西
No. No food till we're finished.
瞧瞧你 几小时后
Look at you-- couple hours,
你就成了拼图迷
you're a full-on puzzle junkie.
对 我就是这样
Yeah. That's how I roll.
如果这很好玩 我就搞出问题来
If it's fun, I make it a problem.
你们知道我们都在想
You know we're all thinking it,
但我要大声说出来
but I'm gonna say it out loud:
我希望拼图俱乐部每天都开门
I wish puzzle club could be every day.
我们不要叫拼图俱乐部
We're not calling it puzzle club.
要的 你去卫生间时
Yes we are. Marjorie and I decided
我和玛乔丽决定了
when you were in the bathroom.
我要给我们做小徽章
I'm making us buttons.
亚当喜欢拼图吗
Hey, does Adam like puzzles?
我不介意俱乐部里还有男人
I wouldn't mind our club bending co-ed.
亚当没时间玩拼图
Adam doesn't have time for puzzles right now.
也没时间理我
Or me.
-呜呜 -怎么了