I was always worried about what was going on at home.
我永远也不能带朋友回家
I could never bring friends over,
因为我不知道我们会撞上什么情况
because I didn't know what we would be walking into.
当我该去芭蕾舞会
When I should have just been going to ballet
滑旱冰的时候
and Rollerblading,
我却在家打扫卫生
I was the one that was home cleaning the house
做晚饭 确保有人付账单
and cooking dinner and making sure that bills got paid.
我看见你在沙发上昏睡
I would see you passed out on the couch
都不知道你是否会醒来
and not even know if you were gonna wake up.
我担心的事
I worried about stuff
是小孩永远也不该需要担心的
that no kid should ever have to worry about.
维奥莉特 很抱歉
Violet, I am so sorry.
真希望我能回到过去
I wish I could go back in time
做你该拥有的妈妈
and be the mother you deserved.
我也希望如此
I wish that, too.
我们从现在开始建立感情怎么样
What do you say we build from here?
我真的想参与你的生活
I really want to be in your life.
实际上 我生活里不再有你 这还挺好的
Actually, it's been really good not having you in my life.
我现在终于健康了
I'm finally in a healthy place right now,
我觉得不跟你建立关系
and I think that what would be best for me
这样对我最好
is to not have a relationship with you.
好吧
Oh.
但是非常感谢你上播客
But thank you so much for coming on the podcast.
好吧
Okay.
说真的 感谢你这样做
Seriously, thank you for doing that.
这会是很棒的一♥期♥
It's actually gonna be a really good episode.
这就完事了吗
So we're done?
是啊 很高兴见到你 外婆
Yeah. It was great to see you, Grandma.
我也是 亲爱的
It's great to see you, too, sweetie.
再见 妈妈
Bye, Mom.
再见
Bye.
-你没事吧 -嗯
- You okay? - u202dMm.
我知道那
I know that's...
不是你想要的 但是
not how you wanted that to go down, but...
记住
remember...
五年前
five years ago,
这是不可能发生的
this right here wouldn't have been possible.
你肯定更情愿在家
I'm sure you'd rather be at home
像婴儿一样蜷缩着
curled up in the fetal position,
看着某个地方的
watching The Real Housewives of...
《娇妻》
somewhere...
但你出现对我来说意义重大
but it means a lot to me that you showed up.
没事 就像过去一样
It's okay. Kind of like the old days,
只是现在我借辣鸡翅消愁
only now I'm drowning my sorrows in hot wings.
-真辣 -是啊
- And these are hot. u202d- Yeah.
我的嘴唇都没知觉了
I actually can't feel my lips.
要知道
You know...
那期播客还没播
the podcast hasn't aired yet.
我可以闯入维奥莉特的公♥寓♥
I could break into Violet's apartment,
毁掉磁带 问题解决了
destroy the tapes-- problem solved.
首先 没人用磁带了
First of all, no one uses tapes anymore.
还有 我不希望毁掉播客
And also, I don't want to destroy the podcast.
这对她有帮助 也许还有别人
It's helping her. And probably other people.
瞧瞧你 吃着鸡肉 发扬好作风
Ah, look at you, eating chicken and taking the high road.
要知道
You know...
这一切让我意识到我欠你一个道歉
all of this has made me realize I owe you an apology.
太棒了
Awesome.
为什么
Why?
因为我太专注于过去的你
Because I focused too much on who you were
没大关注现在的你 对不起
and not enough on the person you've become. I'm sorry.
谢谢你
Aw. Thank you.
所以从现在开始
So from here on out,
我保证 我只会对
I promise I will only get mad at you
你现在做的事生气
for the things you do in the present.
我保证我会让你天天生气
And I promise to give you plenty to work with.
你用了小便池吗
Hey. You use the urinal?
是的
Yeah.
你对尿液轨道满意吗
Were you happy with the trajectory?
我想是
I guess.
性感男人说是
Hot guy says yes.
他来了 成功酒吧老板先生
There he is, Mr. Successful Bar Owner.
你肯定很激动 瞧瞧这里的人
Oh, you must be thrilled. Look at all the people.
是啊 好多人来
Yeah, yeah, big turnout.
是我做的
I did that.
是的
Yes, you did.
你带了75个戒酒的人来酒吧
You brought 75 sober people to a bar.
健怡可乐快卖♥♥完了
I'm running out of Diet Coke.
下次你答应大家有免费鸡翅时
Also, next time you promise everyone free wings,
别那样做
don't do that.
恭喜啊
Hey, congratulations.
这地方真棒
Yeah, this place is so cute.
谢谢 你们要来什么
Thanks. What can I get you ladies?
-冰红茶 -我也是
- An iced tea. u202d- Me too.
蔓越莓汁
Cranberry juice.
我没感染 我只是喜欢
I don't have an infection. I just like it.
我把毕生积蓄都投入了一个柠檬水摊位
I sunk my life savings into a lemonade stand.
有个人问我电♥话♥号♥码
Okay, so, a guy asked me for my number.
我有约会了 或者他想让我装♥修♥他的房♥子
I have a date. Or he wants me to do work on his house.
不管怎样 真棒啊
But either way, yay!