极品老妈第六季第十集

Mom S06E10

Part1

2020年1月3日 20:49

在这里吃饭的人是禽兽
The people who eat here are animals.
还比不上那些拉手的可爱水獭
And not like those cute otters holding hands.
我恨他们所有人
I hate 'em all.
我去一桌服务有个男人
I went over to check on a table and this man
把粘稠的排骨酱抹在了我衣服上
wiped gloppy short rib sauce on my shirt.
我看起来像餐巾吗
Do I look like a napkin?
现在像了
Well, you do now.
顺便说句那粘稠的酱是波特酒汁
And by the way, that "Gloppy sauce" Is a port wine reduction,
专门做粘的
and intentionally viscous.
我是出来吸新鲜空气的现在这梦想破碎了
I came out here for fresh air, but that dream is dead.
让我把烟头丢上去给你其他的破碎梦想锦上添花吧
Let me toss it on the pile with all your others.
我估计你丢不了那么高
I doubt you can throw that high.
听起来你需要来一根
It sounds like you need
美味而安抚人心的香烟
a delicious and calming cigarette.
我不抽烟
I don't smoke.
用八十年代伟大诗人亚当·安特的话说
In the words of the great '80s poet Adam Ant,
不抽烟不喝酒你还会做什么
"Don't drink, don't smoke, what do you do?"
哥们我以前抽烟
Hey, dude, I used to smoke,
我以前喝酒我以前跳脱衣舞
I used to drink, I used to strip,
我以前好几天都不回家
I used to not come home for days at a time.
所以你以前还挺好玩的
Mm, so what you're saying is you used to be fun.
好吧给我一根
Fine. Give me one.
舒服了
Oh, right.
谢谢我欠你人情
Thanks, I owe you one.
很好你想打烊以后来我家
Great. You want to come over to my place after we close,
亲热一下吗
"Get chummy"?
这是烟草不是迷幻剂
It's tobacco, not ecstasy.
你想来点迷幻剂吗
Would you like some ecstasy?
极品老妈第六季第十集
我们为什么收起该死的椅子
Why do we bother putting the damn chairs away?
明天还要开会呢
We're just gonna have another meeting tomorrow.
早上有女式尊巴课
There's ladies' Zumba in the morning.
那是什么凯格尔运动之类的吗
What is that, like a Kegel thing?
让老妹儿更紧致
Tightening the old hoo-ha?
那是基于舞蹈的运动课
It's a dance-based exercise class,
但你的妹儿确实会得到锻炼
but your la-la does get a workout.
各位我们都超过12岁了
Guys, we're all over 12.
我们可以说阴♥道♥
We can say "Vagina."
我有次喝醉了跳过尊巴
I did Zumba drunk once.
因此被解雇
Got kicked out.
也许因为我一直在喊"尊巴"
Maybe 'cause I kept yelling "Zumba!"
而且我尿在紧身衣里了
And I peed in my leotard.
天啊
Oh, my God.
怎么了
What?
我昨天在家得宝遇见的男人给我发短♥信♥了
I just got a text from this guy i met at The Home Depot yesterday.
等等是那种认真的遇见吗
Wait, like, "Met a guy" Met a guy?
你没和我说过快说
You didn't tell me that. Spill.
他在那里工作我去买♥♥灯开关
Well, he works there. I needed to get a light switch,
但我不知道该买♥♥20安还是15安
but I wasn't sure if I needed a 20-amp or if a 15-amp would cover it.
-于是我... -直接说男人的部分
- So then I... - Get to the man part.
所以瑞克他的腰带上是这么写的
So Rick-- that's what his lifting belt said--
过来帮忙说
swooped in and said even
就算我要15安 20安也能用
if I only needed a 15, a 20 should be fine.
然后他推你到墙上亲了你
And then he pushed you up against the wall and kissed you.
抱歉我必须让这故事精彩点
Sorry, I just got to make the story better.
他问我要了电♥话♥ 我没想过他真会联♥系♥我
He asked for my number, I didn't think he'd use it.
现在他想知道"你干嘛呢"
Now he wants to know "What's up?"
我怎么回复啊
How do I even respond to that?
"没干嘛你干嘛呢"怎么样
How about "Nothing much, what's up with you?"
你疯了吗你要显得自己很忙很受欢迎
Are you nuts? You want to sound busy, in demand.
说你正在宴会上
Tell him you're at a gala.
不等等你们是在家得宝遇见的
No, wait. You met him at Home Depot.
告诉他你在乡村集市上
Tell him you're at a county fair.
个人意见我觉得
Personally, I don't think
你不该以谎言开启一段感情
you should start a relationship off on a lie.
回复"没干嘛"吧
Go with "Not much."
天啊我该相信哪个黄毛小妞
Oh, man, which tiny blonde should I believe?
克丽丝蒂是我女儿我爱她
Well, Christy's my daughter and I love her,
但如果你希望感情生活有戏听吉尔的
but if you want any hope of a romantic life, listen to Jill.
"正在集市上"
"At a fair."
我也约会啊
Hey, I date.
确实虽然最近没有但你确实约过
You do. Not recently, but you do.
他已经回了
Whoa, he texted back already.
他约我出来 "随时可以"
And he asked me out on a date! "Anytime..."
不不不你正在集市上吃油饼呢记得吗
No, no, no. You're eating funnel cake at a fair, remember?
是啊你又不像克丽丝蒂一样
Yeah, you're not just staring
死盯着自己的手♥机♥
at your phone like some kind of Christy.
我没那么做过
I don't do that.
都怪我所以我希望塔米更好
I blame myself. It's why I'm trying to do better with Tammy.
-玛乔丽所有人都在针对我 -我知道
- Marjorie, everyone's picking on me. - I know,
就算她们是对的也不能这样做
and the fact that they're right doesn't justify it.
你猜怎么着
You know what?
我的家庭作业都比这事有趣
My homework is more fun than this.
没错非常有趣各位
And yeah, that's a dig, guys.
非常有趣
It's a dig.
我什么时候回他
So when do I text him back?
我会告诉你的
I'll let you know.
莎伦
Sharon.
克丽丝蒂
Oh, hey, Christy.
我能来一根吗
Can I bum one of those?
当然可以我不知道你抽烟
Sure. I didn't know you were a smoker.
只在周三抽
Only on Wednesdays.
今天是周四
It's Thursday.
别废话了快点烟莎伦
Just light the cigarette, Sharon.
谢谢
Thank you.
我去灌木后面抽
I'm just gonna go smoke this behind that bush.
那里再见
I'll see you over there.
好
Yeah.
现在
Now.
傻瓜们
Morons.
三号♥机加10美元的油
Hi, can I have ten dollars on pump three?
没问题
You got it.
实际上
Actually,
三号♥机加5美元
can I have five dollars on pump three
然后来包柔和烟
and a pack of the lights?
9美元一包
Those are nine dollars.
真的吗天啊
Really? Wow.
好三号♥机加1美元然后来包柔和烟
Okay, give me one dollar on pump three and a pack of the lights.
我不喜欢塔米的约会对象来这里接她
I don't like that Tammy's date is picking her up here.
如果他是谋杀犯他就知道她住哪了
Now if he's a murderer, he knows where she lives.
这是你第三次提到
That's the third time you've mentioned
她这次约会可能被杀了
that she might get killed on this date.
你为什么总担心被谋杀
Where is all this murder anxiety coming from?
因为我是女人玛乔丽
From being a woman, Marjorie.
好了
Okay!
准备好
Get ready.
塔米出来让她们见识一下
Tammy, come on out, and show them what you got.
天啊
u202dOoh! u202dWow!
我知道我是美女
I know, right? I'm a piece.
我好紧张出狱和戒瘾后第一次约会
I'm so nervous, first date out of prison, first date sober.
这就像喝醉了约会只不过更可怕
It's just like going on a date drunk, only much, much scarier.
因为你是女人
'Cause you're a woman.
你会没事的
You'll be great.
如果他点了鸡尾酒问我要不要一杯呢
What if he orders a cocktail and asks me if I want one?
我该怎么说
What do I say then?
你不用告诉他你的全部经历
You don't have to tell your whole story.
只用说你今晚不想喝酒
Just say you don't feel like drinking tonight.
或者告诉他你不能喝酒
Or tell him you can't drink
因为你在服用抗生素
'cause you're taking antibiotics.
如果他们继续约会那借口怎么用
How is that gonna work if they keep dating?
是啊他会以为她患有西药