The people who eat here are animals.
And not like those cute otters holding hands.
I hate 'em all.
I went over to check on a table and this man
wiped gloppy short rib sauce on my shirt.
Do I look like a napkin?
Well, you do now.
And by the way, that "Gloppy sauce" Is a port wine reduction,
and intentionally viscous.
I came out here for fresh air, but that dream is dead.
Let me toss it on the pile with all your others.
I doubt you can throw that high.
It sounds like you need
a delicious and calming cigarette.
I don't smoke.
In the words of the great '80s poet Adam Ant,
不抽烟 不喝酒 你还会做什么
"Don't drink, don't smoke, what do you do?"
Hey, dude, I used to smoke,
I used to drink, I used to strip,
I used to not come home for days at a time.
Mm, so what you're saying is you used to be fun.
Fine. Give me one.
Thanks, I owe you one.
Great. You want to come over to my place after we close,
It's tobacco, not ecstasy.
Would you like some ecstasy?
Why do we bother putting the damn chairs away?
We're just gonna have another meeting tomorrow.
There's ladies' Zumba in the morning.
What is that, like a Kegel thing?
Tightening the old hoo-ha?
It's a dance-based exercise class,
but your la-la does get a workout.
Guys, we're all over 12.
We can say "Vagina."
I did Zumba drunk once.
Got kicked out.
Maybe 'cause I kept yelling "Zumba!"
And I peed in my leotard.
Oh, my God.
I just got a text from this guy i met at The Home Depot yesterday.
Wait, like, "Met a guy" Met a guy?
You didn't tell me that. Spill.
Well, he works there. I needed to get a light switch,
but I wasn't sure if I needed a 20-amp or if a 15-amp would cover it.
- So then I... - Get to the man part.
So Rick-- that's what his lifting belt said--
swooped in and said even
if I only needed a 15, a 20 should be fine.
And then he pushed you up against the wall and kissed you.
Sorry, I just got to make the story better.
He asked for my number, I didn't think he'd use it.
Now he wants to know "What's up?"
How do I even respond to that?
How about "Nothing much, what's up with you?"
你疯了吗 你要显得自己很忙 很受欢迎
Are you nuts? You want to sound busy, in demand.
Tell him you're at a gala.
不 等等 你们是在家得宝遇见的
No, wait. You met him at Home Depot.
Tell him you're at a county fair.
Personally, I don't think
you should start a relationship off on a lie.
Go with "Not much."
Oh, man, which tiny blonde should I believe?
Well, Christy's my daughter and I love her,
but if you want any hope of a romantic life, listen to Jill.
"At a fair."
Hey, I date.
确实 虽然最近没有 但你确实约过
You do. Not recently, but you do.
Whoa, he texted back already.
And he asked me out on a date! "Anytime..."
不不不 你正在集市上吃油饼呢 记得吗
No, no, no. You're eating funnel cake at a fair, remember?
Yeah, you're not just staring
at your phone like some kind of Christy.
I don't do that.
I blame myself. It's why I'm trying to do better with Tammy.
-玛乔丽 所有人都在针对我 -我知道
- Marjorie, everyone's picking on me. - I know,
and the fact that they're right doesn't justify it.
You know what?
My homework is more fun than this.
没错 非常有趣 各位
And yeah, that's a dig, guys.
It's a dig.
So when do I text him back?
I'll let you know.
Oh, hey, Christy.
Can I bum one of those?
Sure. I didn't know you were a smoker.
Only on Wednesdays.
Just light the cigarette, Sharon.
I'm just gonna go smoke this behind that bush.
I'll see you over there.
Hi, can I have ten dollars on pump three?
You got it.
can I have five dollars on pump three
and a pack of the lights?
Those are nine dollars.
好 三号♥机加1美元 然后来包柔和烟
Okay, give me one dollar on pump three and a pack of the lights.
I don't like that Tammy's date is picking her up here.
Now if he's a murderer, he knows where she lives.
That's the third time you've mentioned
that she might get killed on this date.
Where is all this murder anxiety coming from?
From being a woman, Marjorie.
塔米 出来 让她们见识一下
Tammy, come on out, and show them what you got.
I know, right? I'm a piece.
I'm so nervous, first date out of prison, first date sober.
It's just like going on a date drunk, only much, much scarier.
'Cause you're a woman.
You'll be great.
What if he orders a cocktail and asks me if I want one?
What do I say then?
You don't have to tell your whole story.
Just say you don't feel like drinking tonight.
Or tell him you can't drink
'cause you're taking antibiotics.
How is that gonna work if they keep dating?
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