Yeah, then he'll think she has some horrible STD
都治不好的严重性病
that Western medicine just can't knock out.
但他不会知道她戒瘾了
But he won't know she's sober.
也许你不该在意他是否会喜欢你
Maybe you should stop focusing on whether he's gonna like you
而是该在意你是否喜欢他
and see if you even like him.
你是牛逼的塔米·迪芬多夫
You're Tammy frickin' Diffendorf.
你美丽而无畏
You are beautiful and fierce
你愿意和他约会都算他走运
and he's lucky you're even going out with him.
天啊
Wow!
你们完全改变了我的想法
You guys just turned my whole world around.
我现在去约会心态都不一样了
I am going out on this date with a blown mind.
-他停车了 -开始了
- He's pulling up. - u202dIt's happening!
-好 他敲门时 -闪开
- Okay, when he knocks... - Out of my way!
我们还担心他吗 温蒂
Are we still worried about him, Wendy?
哎呦
Well, well, well.
看看谁又出来借烟了
Look who's here to bum another cigarette.
我带烟了
I have my own.
你自己的烟 真快
Ooh, your own pack. That was fast.
我依然只是偶尔抽
I still only smoke once in a while,
我只是不想显得我得靠别人
I just don't want to be seen as needy.
我觉得因为你的声音和眼神
Mm. I think with that voice and those eyes,
别人总会那么想
that's always gonna be a problem.
我能照顾好自己
I can take care of myself.
克丽丝蒂
Oh, Christy,
面对现实吧
face it.
你是个真烟民
You're a real smoker,
真烟民应该有自己的打火机
and a real smoker should have her own lighter.
这是我父亲的
This was my father's.
现在传给你了
And now it's yours.
真的吗
Seriously?
假的 一个杂工送我的
No, I got it from a busboy.
不过这确实是他父亲的
Although it was his father's.
一开始是晚餐和电影
What started out as dinner and a movie
最后变成了晚餐和谋杀
ended as dinner and a murder.
我害怕了
I'm getting scared.
玛乔丽 换台
Marjorie, change the channel.
玛乔丽
Marjorie!
糟了
Uh-oh.
还有
Uhp, there it is.
谁知道呢 她去世了我会伤心的
What do you know, I am gonna be sad when she goes.
塔米回来了
Tammy's back.
最棒的约会
Best date ever.
真的吗 玛乔丽 醒醒 她回来了
Really? u202dOh! Marjorie, wake up, she's home.
我醒着呢
I'm awake.
告诉我们一切
Tell us everything.
我很幸运你们给我打扮了
Well, I'm so lucky you guys dressed me up,
因为他带我去了橄榄园餐厅
because he took me to Olive Garden.
那些广♥告♥我在监狱看了七年
Okay, I've been watching those commercials for seven years
要说的话 比广♥告♥上还好吃
from prison and if anything, they undersell it.
他是什么样的人
What's he like?
他幽默聪明
Oh, he's funny, he's smart--
-听好了 他不喝酒 -他是酒瘾者吗
- and get this, he doesn't drink. - Is he an alcoholic?
不是 他有肠道易激综合症
No, he has irritable bowel syndrome.
他听起来很完美
He sounds perfect.
不是吗 玛乔丽
Doesn't he, Marjorie?
天啊 我们至少帮她闭上嘴
Oh, Lord, let's at least shut her mouth.
胶带 谁有胶带
Tape? Anybody got any tape?
有晚安吻吗
Was there a good-night kiss?
淑女不会吻了就说
A lady doesn't kiss and tell,
但我不是淑女 所以我和你们讲讲那个吻
but I'm no lady, so let me tell you about the kissing.
超赞的
It was awesome!
你们知道那种令你眩晕的吻吗
You know the kind of kiss that leaves you light-headed?
不知道
No.
看看你 你去约会 你坚持戒瘾
Look at you-- you went on a date, you stayed sober,
你衣服没穿反
your clothes aren't inside out.
你没给朋友邦妮带面包棒回来
You didn't bring any of their breadsticks home
但除此之外 这是个大成功
for your friend Bonnie, but otherwise, a success.
你想错了
That's what you think.
多棒的夜晚啊
What a night!
我知道
I know!
所以我什么时候给他发短♥信♥说我过得愉快呢
So when can I text him to tell him I had fun?
-永远不发 等他给你发 -但我想发
- Never. Wait for him to text you. - But I want to.
发吧 说"我过得愉快"不会有事的
Go ahead. A little "I had a good time" won't hurt.
还热着呢
They're still warm.
谢谢 邦妮 "过得很愉快
Thanks, Bonnie. "Had a nice time.
迫不及待想再次见到你"
Can't wait to see you again."
我想这还行吧
I guess that's okay.
"我觉得你就是我的白马王子了"
"I think you're the one."
不要
No!
情况如何啊
Oh. How'd it go?
好啊 吉尔
Hi, Jill.
我快到了 正在飞速开车
I'm almost there, driving as fast as I can.
再见
Bye.
轻轻松松
That was easy.
我饿坏了 能点单了吗
I'm starving. Can we please order?
我们不等克丽丝蒂吗
Aren't we gonna wait for Christy?
不 因为我饿的时候没礼貌
No, 'cause I get rude when I'm hangry.
我们准备好了
We're ready, we're ready!
我一定要让老板炒了她
Oh, I am so gonna get her fired.
瑞克为什么不回我短♥信♥
Why isn't Rick texting me back?
我要再给他发短♥信♥
I'm gonna text him again.
塔米 换我我就不会
Tammy, I wouldn't.
在过来的路上 你就给他发了四次短♥信♥了
You texted him four times in the car on the way over here.
我要怎么温柔地说呢
How do I put this gently?
这是克丽丝蒂会做的事
That's something Christy would do.
我只是很喜欢他
I just really like him,
我很久没有喜欢过谁了
and I haven't liked anyone in a long time.
这很好 但慢慢来
Which is great, but just take it slow.
食物
Food!
我包里好像有些杏仁
I think I have some almonds in my purse.
没有
No.
也许我的手♥机♥坏了 你给我发条短♥信♥好吗
Maybe my phone is broken. Will you just text me?
不 你迷恋上了这人
No, you're obsessed with this guy.
这人 他叫瑞克·某某
"This guy"? His name is Rick something
他对我来说意义重大
and he means a lot to me.
各位 抱歉我迟到了
Hi, guys. Sorry I'm late.
堵车了 纳帕谷怎么了
Traffic. What is happening to Napa?
你抽烟了吗
Have you been smoking?
你为什么要这样问
Why would you ask me that?
因为你身上一股漱口水 空气清新剂
Because you smell like mouth wash, air freshener,
免冲洗手液和干燥纸的味道
Purell and dryer sheets.
我像是坐在刚打扫过的汽车旅馆房♥间旁边
It's like sitting next to a freshly cleaned motel room.
我没抽烟 点单了吗
I'm not smoking. Did we order yet?
没有 因为这是地狱
No, 'cause this is hell.
你怎么有打火机
Why do you have a lighter?
你为什么翻我包包
Why are you going through my purse?
-我是你妈 -那跟这个有什么关系
- I'm your mother. - u202dWhat does that have to do with it?
你是我生出来的 我就可以翻你的包
You came out of my pocketbook, I get to rifle through yours.
好吧 是的 我抽烟了
Okay, yes, I'm smoking,
但我没有喝酒 没有赌博
but I'm not drinking, I'm not gambling,
没和已婚男人上♥床♥
I'm not sleeping with married men.
让我享受吧
Let me have this.
是他
It's him!
该死 是安珀警报
Shoot, Amber Alert.
白色皮卡 犹他车牌 放亮眼睛
White pickup, Utah plates. Keep your eyes open.
塔米 别盯着手♥机♥了 你要把自己逼疯了
Tammy, stop with the phone. You're driving yourself crazy.
你要把我们逼疯了 你表现得很可悲
You're driving us all crazy. You're acting pathetic.
不是他 但是没错 温蒂 邦妮有些严厉
Not him, but, yes, Wendy, Bonnie was a little harsh.
别大声说出来 你想害我被谋杀吗
Not out loud. You trying to get me killed?
你好 我想点外卖♥♥
Hi, I'd like to make an order for delivery.
我的地址是有女人在挥手的卡座