It's called a Christmas tree, Tammy.
Or in Germany, a Tannenbaum.
I know what it's called, Big Sauce.
I just haven't seen one in a long time.
Don't they have Christmas trees in prison?
No, they kind of frown on joy.
We're glad you're with us this year, honey.
Hey, since everyone's here,
how about we draw names for Secret Santa?
Huh. I didn't think ol' "Socks and a candle"
would be kick-starting it this year.
You said you liked them.
And that was my gift to you.
Hey, I got news for you.
This year, I am winning Secret Santa.
Not a competition.
It's an expression of our love for each other...
that Christy always loses.
Can we at least up the limit?
I mean, $25?
What am I supposed to buy y'all, a bag of dirt?
Ooh, 25 bucks, that's a little steep for me.
不 那只是上限 塔米
No, that's just a ceiling, Tammy.
- You can even make something. - Like venison stew?
Ooh! Stew it is.
Oh! Secret, secret!
Lord, I'm getting Bambi in a bowl for Christmas.
All right, everyone.
Please pick with one hand, eyes closed.
If you choose your own name,
-你必须... -我们知道规则 温蒂
- you must... - u202dWe know the rules, Wendy.
Do we? 'Cause last year you picked
your own name and gave yourself cash.
I know what I like.
Hint I'd like it again.
You do know whoever you picked is in the room?
Well, "Ugh" Isn't always a bad thing.
Ugh, that's a lovely sweater.
该死 我想要邦妮 谁抽到了邦妮
Damn it, I wanted Bonnie. Who's got Bonnie?
Any chance we could, uh, 86 the venison stew?
Oh, sure. Where do you stand on elk?
Hey. Hey, hey.
The point is to use your imagination
and think about the dear friend you're buying a gift for.
Son of a bitch.
There's the Plunkett Christmas spirit.
I'm in Secret Santa hell.
- Who'd you get? - I'm not telling.
Look at me.
How do you do that?
That brief alien abduction left me with some powers.
We've been friends with Wendy for years
and I only know three things about her.
She's a nurse, she's five foot three...
Not to rub it in, but I got blessed
by the Secret Santa gods.
You got Marjorie?
- Can we trade? - u202dNo way.
"Add to cart.
Confirm." Ah, she'll be here Tuesday.
No, you tell the driver it was supposed to be
three cases of tequila, not six.
That's more than enough.
Amazing. I hear the word "Tequila"
and I immediately want chips and salsa
and to take my clothes off.
I hear "Tequila" And I want heroin.
Isn't it funny how our brains work?
Oh, just a heads-up, I got to get a deposit check
to the wedding band.
Yeah, well, you know where the book is.
You sign my name better than I do, anyway.
Yeah, but I feel dirty when I don't ask first.
All right, I'm out.
好 亲爱的 去让人们喝醉吧
Okay, honey. Go get people drunk.
And you continue to be strangely cool with that.
Hey. Real quick, Christy and I were talking.
Do you want to go out for Christmas Eve
or do you want to do it here family style?
Oh, yeah. About that...
Tell me you're not working Christmas Eve.
I'm sorry, it's a big night for bars.
People are depressed 'cause they don't have families.
Others are depressed 'cause they do.
Plus, the Raiders are on and that'll depress everyone.
But you're welcome to join in on the festivities.
Great, so my choices are
spend Christmas Eve with my kid or in a bar.
Nothing ever changes.
You got your parole officer a Christmas present?
Oh, yeah. Juan's been great.
I got him a bottle of aftershave.
Eight bucks and it comes with foot powder.
Okay, let's get started.
That's not Juan.
Which one of you is Tammy?
- Me. - u202dAnd who are you?
I'm her ride; Juan's cool with me hanging out.
Juan's been reassigned.
And I'm not cool.
Wait, Juan's out?
And this is how I'm hearing about it?
That's a kick in the lady pants.
I'm Eve Ferguson, I'm in charge of your case.
You can wait in the hallway.
Guess you're on your own.
- I'll be close. - O-Okay.
What is that?
Oh, just some aftershave for Juan.
Which you are very welcome to have.
For your fella.
Or your lady.
Or yourself if you like to smell like the sea.
- It comes with foot powder... - Oh. Stop talking.
Okay, I see you have a place to live