极品老妈第六季第十一集

Mom S06E11

Part2

2020年1月3日 20:49

and you're in a 12-step program.
我没看到你有工作你在工作吗
I don't see a job here. You working?
我...
Uh, well, I...
杂工洗手间在这边吗
Handyman. The bathroom's this way?
是的我做了一些杂工
Yeah, I've done some handyman jobs.
我没看到工资单
Uh, I don't see any pay stubs.
不这更像是易物
No, it's more of a barter situation.
用工作换食物或房♥租
Trading the work for food or rent.
我在邦妮未婚夫的酒吧里为他做过水管活
I did some plumbing for Bonnie's fiancé at his bar.
他坐着轮椅如果有加分的话
He's in a wheelchair, if that helps.
没有加分
It doesn't.
我需要一些你受雇的证据
I'm gonna need some proof of employment
不然我不得不撤销你的假释
or I'm gonna be forced to revoke your parole.
等等你是认真的吗
Wait, what? Are you serious?
是的下周一必须交给我
Yes, and I'm gonna need it by next Monday.
那是平安夜
That's Christmas Eve.
也叫周一
Otherwise known as Monday.
咚咚
Knock, knock.
自动贩卖♥♥机吞了我一美元
I just lost a dollar in the vending machine.
我该找谁解决
Who do I see about that?
给我钱或雪碧都行
I'll take the dollar or the Sprite.
你要帮忙吗
You need any help?
你愿意帮吗
You offering?
不愿意但我可以告诉别人
No, but I can put the word out.
你在做什么
What are you doing?
我破解了圣诞之谜
I cracked the Christmas code.
我找到了温蒂住在斯塔顿岛的远房♥表哥
I tracked down Wendy's second cousin in Staten Island
他帮我联♥系♥上了温蒂住在纽瓦克市的姑妈
who put me in touch with one of her aunts in Newark.
顺便说句很有可能
By the way, there is a solid chance
温蒂一边的亲戚是黑道
that one side of Wendy's family is pretty mobbed up.
或许我不该再对她刻薄了
Maybe I shouldn't be mean to her anymore.
是啊我不想在冷冻运肉车里找到你
Yeah, I'd hate to find you frozen in a meat truck.
我进过不好玩
Been there. It's not fun.
你在做什么
So what are you making?
温蒂的祖母以前
Wendy's grandmother used to make
每个圣诞节都会做薄荷酥皮饼干
these peppermint meringue cookies every Christmas.
她死了我活着
She's dead, I'm not, bam.
现在谁是秘密圣诞老人贱♥人♥
Who's your Secret Santa now, bitch?
了不起虽然不是猫咪枕头但是了不起
Impressive. It's no cat pillow, but impressive.
给塔米找到工作了吗
Any luck finding Tammy a job?
还没有她高中没毕业
Not yet. She didn't finish high school,
她多年没工作她不擅长和人打交道
she hasn't worked in years, she's not good with people.
我是怎么找到工作的
How the hell did I get a job?
我们的烤板在哪
Hey, where's our cookie sheet?
抱歉我放在车下接油了
Oh, sorry, I put it under my car to catch the oil.
我们的好毛巾不能接了吗
Our good towels aren't doing the trick anymore?
亚当公♥寓♥有一些高档烤盘
Adam's got some fancy cookie sheets at his apartment.
-我给你拿他的钥匙 -亚当烤饼干吗
- I'll get you his keys. - Adam bakes cookies?
不那些是他前女友用过的东西
No. They've got old girlfriend written all over them.
实际上你烤完以后扔掉吧
In fact, after you're done, throw them away.
再拿上几条他的好毛巾
Oh, and grab a couple of his good towels.
他真干净
He's so clean.
他为什么会娶我妈妈
How can he marry my mother?
你好
Uh, hello?
如果你真想伤我
You know, if you really wanted to hurt me,
你身后有刀
there's knives right behind you.
是的那样更说得通
Yeah, yeah. That would've made more sense.
你是谁
Uh... who are you?
丹尼尔我租了这里一个月
Daniel. I'm renting this place for a month.
-真的吗 -真的民宿
- You are? - Yeah, Airbnb.
你是谁
Who are you?
克丽丝蒂亚当是我妈妈的未婚夫
Christy. Adam's my mom's fiancé.
我来借他的烤盘
I came by to borrow his baking sheets.
我在做圣诞饼干
I'm making Christmas cookies,
因为秘密圣诞老人
it's a Secret Santa thing.
如果你听够了就让我闭嘴
Stop me when you have enough information.
我不能拒绝秘密圣诞老人
Well, I can't say no to Secret Santa.
谢谢
Thanks.
也许我能回来给你带点饼干
Maybe I could come back and bring you some cookies,
如果你喜欢的话
if you're into that kind of thing.
我很喜欢
I'd love that.
-是吗 -是的
- Yeah? - Yeah.
但我男友不吃麸质
Oh, but my boyfriend's gluten-free.
嗯
Uh-huh.
既然我们没戏你自己买♥♥饼干去吧
Well, then, since we have no future, get your own cookies.
圣诞快乐
Merry Christmas.
你知道冲冲桑普森
You know Dasher and Sampson
圣诞老人驯鹿的名字
邦妮只唱对了第一个
康纳和吉布森
And Connor and... Gibson.
或许我并不知道它们
Eh, maybe I don't know them.
怎么样
How'd it go?
一口回绝
It was a hard no.
显然我这条件不配梅西百货
Apparently, I'm not Macy's material.
很抱歉你退了我的衬衫吗
I'm sorry. Did you return my blouse?
退了代金券
Oh, yeah. Store credit.
什么
What?
六个月后不会退现金
No cash refunds after six months.
这是梅西百货的制度
That's Macy's policy.
看到他们错过了什么吗
See what they're missing?
你想试试陶瓷谷仓吗
You want to try Pottery Barn?
不必了
Why bother?
我是个没有工作经验的50岁前科犯
I'm an ex-con in my 50s with no job experience.
谁会雇我呢
Who's gonna hire me?
也许我们眼光太高了
Maybe we're aiming a little too high.
我的紧身裤也是
My Spanx agree.
非常时刻要用非常手段
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
去卡车休息站做♥鸡♥吗
Truck stop hooker?
我想的是去快餐店做汉堡
I was thinking flipping burgers in a paper hat.
太掉价了
Ugh, so degrading.
你好伏特加
Hello, vodka.
你会每周参加五天戒瘾会来忘掉我吗
Do you go to meetings five days a week to get over me?
你好
Hey.
你好你怎么来了
Hey. What brings you down here?
我需要烤盘我妈妈说你有
I needed cookie sheets and my mom said you had some.
我前女友发狂之前
Oh, yeah, an old girlfriend left some at my place
在我家留了一些
before she went crazy.
所以你好这口
So you have a type.
显然是的我今晚带过去
Yeah, apparently. I'll bring them over tonight.
太迟了我自己去拿了
Too late. Got them myself.
我见到了租你公♥寓♥的男人
And met the guy renting your apartment.
-是的 -你没告诉你妈妈吧
- Yeah. - u202dYou didn't tell your mom, did you?
没有我能看出来哪些事不可告人
No. I recognize sneaky behavior when I see it.
怎么回事老滑头
So what's going on, Sneak?
与你在这里看到的情况相反
Okay, contrary to what you may see here,
这酒吧并不火
this bar is not exactly trending.
天啊
Oh, my God.
你现在在营业吗
You're open right now?
这是午餐高峰期
This is the lunch rush.
很遗憾
I'm sorry.
这不是一场灾难
Eh. It's not a disaster.
我没说是
I didn't say it was.
我在自言自语
I'm talking to myself.
夜晚漫长
The nights are slow,
白天是这样的
the days are... this.
我在供应商那里没有信用
I have no credit with my vendors,
所以一切我都得提前付款
so I have to pay everything up front,
包括给健康检查员
including buying uniforms
儿子的少棒联盟球队买♥♥制♥服♥
for the health inspector's son's Little League team.
木桶作坊海盗
The Barrelworks Pirates.
他们1比6输了
They're one and six.
所以你出租了房♥子跟我们住在一起挺好