极品老妈第六季第十三集

Mom S06E13

Part3

2020年1月3日 20:49

还有新的制冰机
Ooh. And a new ice maker.
是的增加两个支付系统
Yeah, and two more PayPoint systems.
是啊还有我们在商场看到的项链
Yeah, and that necklace we saw at the mall.
是啊等等什么
Yeah-- W-Wait, what?
拜托你都有霓虹灯老二了
Come on, you got a neon penis.
这是米奇的钱但等我们赚了钱
It's Mitch's money. But as soon as we get our own,
你可以买♥♥一条超小版的同款项链
you can get a much smaller version of that same necklace.
真疯狂
It's crazy.
上次他过来时
Last time he was here,
烂醉如泥都站不起来了
he was so loaded, he couldn't stand up.
-现在他是个全新的人了 -嗯
- Now he's a new man. - Mm-hmm.
戒瘾让我获得了人生中第二次机会
Getting clean gave me a second chance in life,
也给了他第二次机会
it's giving him a second chance,
现在给了你的酒吧第二次机会
and now it's giving your bar a second chance.
那就是戒瘾的力量
That is the power of sobriety.
真棒啊戒瘾
Yay, sobriety.
亚当的新招牌今天挂上了
Adam's new sign went up today.
你们觉得这是什么
What do you see?
-老二 -老二
- Penis. u202d- Penis.
AJ
A.J.
老二
Penis.
我们心中是什么就看到了什么
We see what we want to see.
我好想看到老二啊
I so want to see a penis.
不是你的巴里走吧
Not yours, Barry. Keep moving.
我还希望米奇也来呢
I was hoping Mitch was coming.
我想告诉他他鼓励了我尝试冥想
I wanted to tell him he inspired me to try meditating
我现在焕然一新了
and I'm a new woman.
早上20分钟晚上20分钟
20 minutes in the morning, 20 minutes at night,
我一次都没必要去射击场了
and I haven't had to go to the shooting range once.
等等什么
Wait, what?
你在冥想那起作用了吗
You're meditating and it's working?
是啊小菜一碟
Yeah, easy-peasy.
你在脑海里只听见了你自己的声音吗
And you only hear your own voice in your head?
我还会听到谁的声音啊
Well, who else's voice would I be hearing?
我不知道
I don't know.
也许是你暗恋的七年级老师
Maybe your seventh grade teacher you had a crush on
直到你看见他和他老婆逛杂货店
until you saw him at the grocery store with his wife
然后你哭了三个星期
and then you cried for three weeks.
波格老师吗
Mr. Borger?
我跟他上过床你没错过什么
I slept with that guy. You weren't missing anything.
冥想的诀窍是养成习惯
The trick to meditating is to develop a routine.
经历45分钟的按♥摩♥ 喝点甘菊茶
After a 45-minute massage, some chamomile tea,
再舒服地泡个长长的热水澡后
and a long soak in the hot tub,
我去我的冥想室
I go to my meditation room,
坐在我的大地板枕上
get on top of some of my big floor pillows,
打瞌睡
and just doze off.
那不叫冥想
That's not meditating.
那是睡午觉
That's taking a nap.
你知道什么
Oh, what do you know?
你根本都做不到
You can't even do it.
瞧瞧
Look at this!
好多人
It's packed!
新招牌起作用了宝贝
The new sign's working, babe.
天空中的大老二
The giant penis in the sky!
如果你勃起他们就会来[高♥潮♥]
If you erect it, they will come!
敬我的老爹
This is for my pappy!
-怎么回事 -不好
- What's going on? - Uh-oh.
我们在地球上处不大来
We may not have gotten along on this Earth,
但我们在地狱里会是酒友
but we'll be drinking buddies in hell.
-敬老爹 -敬老爹
- To Pappy! - To Pappy!
天啊他喝醉了
Oh, my God, he's loaded.
他酒瘾复发了
He relapsed.
这全怪我
This is all my fault.
我在想什么呢让他投资一家酒吧
What was I thinking, asking him to invest in a bar?
瞧
Hey, look!
是我的酒吧搭档
There's my bar partner.
我的酒档
My bartner!
怎么回事米奇
What the hell is going on, Mitch?
我想拥抱你但是好难
Mm, I'm trying to hug you, but it's-it's hard,
因为这个轮椅
'cause of the chair.
你怎么做的
How do you do it?
我们给你倒点咖啡吧
Let's get you some coffee.
咖啡
Coffee?
客栈老板
Innkeeper!
施展魔力吧
Work your alchemy!
我是在我酒店的酒吧里遇到这些家伙的
I met these guys in the bar at my hotel.
他们都在保险业工作
They all work in insurance.
你能想象吗杀了我吧
Can you imagine? Kill me now.
说好的加州式戒瘾呢
What happened to California sober?
加州式戒瘾
"California sober"?
就是他嗑药但是不喝酒
You know, he gets high but doesn't drink.
根本没这回事
That's not a thing.
你告诉我有这么回事
You told me it was a thing.
你知道没这回事
You knew it wasn't a thing.
等等
W... Wait,
你知道他在吸大♥麻♥ 而你都没告诉我吗
you knew he was smoking pot and you didn't tell me?
那时候我们是搭档
Well, by that time, we were partners,
然后我订了老二招牌
and then I ordered my penis sign.
这杯敬老妈
This is for my old ma!
愿她安息
May she rest in peace,
在她死的时候
whenever she dies.
她在养老院
She's in a home.
我不能去太压抑了
I can't go. It's too depressing.
敬老妈
To Ma!
好吧
Okay.
摒除杂念
Quiet the mind,
摒除杂念
quiet the mind.
一个平静的湖泊
A peaceful lake.
一阵微风
A gentle breeze.
就这样吗
Is this it?
我在冥想了吗
Am I doing it?
瞧我我在冥想了
Look at me. I'm doing it.
去死吧吉尔
Suck it, Jill.
米奇
Mitch!
邦妮
Bonnie!
邦妮的女儿
Bonnie's daughter!
我不再冥想了
And I'm no longer doing it.
有人吗
Hello?!
来了
Coming!
邦妮的女儿
Bonnie's daughter!
我好想你
Oh! I've missed you so much!
是吗
You have?
你不记得吗
Don't you remember?
我们要保持联♥系♥ 做朋友
We were gonna stay in touch and be friends.
我给你发了超多条短♥信♥
I texted you, like, a million, jillion times.
我没给你我的号♥码
I never gave you my number.
肯定是另一个特蕾莎
Must've been a different Teresa.
你现在放开我怎么样
How 'bout you let go of me now?
抱歉
Oh. Sorry.
抱歉特蕾莎
Sorry, Teresa.
我得跟你说实话
I got to be honest with you,
我喝了几杯
I've had a few drinks.
我知道
Yes, I know.
你抱我后我都醉了
I think I got drunk from our hug.
如果那样的话就太好了是吧
Wouldn't it be great if it worked that way?
总之
Anyway,
感谢你过来
thanks for coming over.
是你过来的
You came over here.
拜托告诉我你没开车
And please tell me you didn't drive.
不我靠胸过来的
No, no, I boobered.