极品老妈第六季第十四集

Mom S06E14

Part3

2020年1月3日 20:49

Does your ex have a beautiful young wife
和相貌平平的孩子吗
and an okay-looking child?
没有她在和另一个秃头警♥察♥约会
No. She's dating another bald cop
他坚持减肥了20磅
who could stand to lose 20 pounds.
我有什么不好啊
What was wrong with me?
我不再悲伤了
I'm done being on Team Sad.
我经历了悲伤的四个阶段
I been through all four stages of grief:
大吃大哭大喝吸毒
eating, crying, drinking, snorting.
我也经历过
I been down that path.
一直卡在大吃的阶段
Got stuck on eating.
想来一口吗
Want a bite?
不了
Nah.
我现在不吃面包奶酪和肉
I'm not eating bread, cheese or meat right now.
小心你的手指
Watch your fingers.
你干什么
Hey, what are you doing?
我正在看这节目呢
I was watching... whatever that was.
我想看天气
I want to watch the weather.
我们住在加州
We live in California.
这是五天天气预报天气好
Here's your five-day forecast: Nice.
等等你想看诺拉这样你就能告诉她
Oh, wait. You want to watch Nora so you can tell her
你有多喜欢她指东西的样子
how much you love the way she points at things.
马屁精
Suck-up.
我不是
Am not.
我收到了她发的超爱我的辣豆酱的短♥信♥吗
Did I get a text saying how much she loved my chili?
我收到了
Yes, I did.
她甚至问我今天怎么样
She even asked how my day was going.
那是冰后开裂的声音吗
Is that the sound of the ice queen cracking?
我想是的
I think so.
你现在自问自答了吗
Are you gonna ask questions and also answer them?
这是你的新习惯吗
Is that your new thing?
是吗我不知道
Is it? I don't know.
嘘我的新闺蜜出现了
Shh, shh! My new bestie's on.
谢谢罗伯
Ah, thanks, Rob!
我同意你的领带真好看
And I agree, that is some tie.
似乎我们需要
Well, looks like we might need
拿出毛衣了各位
to break out the sweaters, folks.
本周将会降温
Temperatures will be cooling down this week
因为刮起了西风
thanks to winds coming in from the west.
你和你的辣豆酱得到了致谢呢
Hey, you and your chili just got a shout-out.
刮起了西风
Winds coming in from the west
刮起了西风
Winds coming in from the west
刮起了西风
Winds coming in from the west...
六十万观看
600,000 views!
我一看到这一幕就说
The minute I saw this, I said,
我们拍视频上传油管吧
"Let's make a YouTube video."
克丽丝蒂说
And Christy's all,
不行我们不能羞辱我的互助对象
"No, we can't humiliate my sponsor."
我女儿又一次阻碍了我的伟大
Once again, my daughter holds me back from greatness!
我为她感到难过
I feel sorry for her.
好吧你什么时候放的屁
Okay, when did you let one rip?
高中才艺表演
High school talent show.
我在吹长笛但声音不够响
I was playing the flute, but not nearly loud enough.
让开和亚伯·林肯做♥爱♥
Move over, sex with Abe Lincoln.
这是我的时间机器清单上的第一项
That is now number one on my time machine list.
可怜的诺拉
Man, poor Nora.
我们再看一次吧
Let's watch it again.
说真的她们有5%的可能性是在笑温蒂
Seriously, there's a 5% chance they're laughing at Wendy.
我们都知道她们在笑谁
We both know who they're laughing at.
这是你的特百惠保鲜盒
Here's your Tupperware.
很抱歉
I'm so sorry.
不用
Well, don't be.
我觉得有些丢人吗绝对是
Am I feeling a little embarrassed? Absolutely.
我是人我在电视上放屁了
I'm human and I frickin' farted on TV.
你想聊聊这件事吗
And do you want to talk about that?
不是跟你聊
Not with you.
我要去找我的互助对象顺便说一句
I'll bring it to my sponsor, who, by the way,
我跟他也不是朋友
I'm also not buddies with.
谢谢你的咖啡我得走了
Thank you for the coffee. I got to go.
好吧也许我们该
Right. Well, maybe we should--
好再见
Okay. All right. Bye!
玛乔丽把我的手♥机♥还给我
Marjorie, give me my phone back.
你怎么从放屁视频看到了猫咪视频
How did you get from farts to cat videos?
诺拉怎么样
How's Nora?
我们的友谊死了这是凶器
Our friendship is dead, and here's the murder weapon.
我不明白有什么大不了的
I just don't get what the big deal is.
我们都会这样
We all do it.
打嗝放屁大笑的时候尿出来
We burp, we fart, we pee when we laugh,
从而让我们笑得更厉害从而让我们尿得更多
which only makes us laugh more, which makes us pee more.
生命轮回
Circle of life.
运动传感器警报
Ooh, motion sensor alert.
瞧安迪在给我送邮件
Aw, look. Andy's bringing in my mail.
你打算留他多久
How long you gonna keep him around?
我不知道他让我觉得安全
I don't know. He makes me feel safe.
他很有趣
And he's a lot of fun.
我们整晚没睡在闲聊
We stayed up all night just gabbing.
他跟我说了当海军的故事
He told me stories about being a Marine.
他真的知道怎么做事
He really knows how to take care of business.
是吗他做了你的"事"吗
Yeah? Did he take care of your business?
在你们闲聊一晚上的时候
While you were gabbing all night?
是啊
Uh-huh.
妹子
Girl!
他是个好人但你们见过他
He's a great guy, but you met him;
他不是我喜欢的类型
he's not my type.
不好说他给你送了邮件
I don't know. He brought in your mail.
是啊
Yeah, he did.
妹子
Girl!
温蒂那没用
Wendy, it's not working.
我知道
I know.
这是你新锁的钥匙
Okay, here are the keys to your new locks.
运动探测器启动了摄像头也在工作
Motion detectors are up, cameras are working,
我想松鼠结婚了
and I think the squirrels got married.
你怎么看出来的
How can you tell?
它们就默默地挨着彼此吃东西
They're just eating in silence next to each other.
你确定你不能多待一晚吗
You sure you can't stay one more night?
这时候我就只是在白拿你的钱了你很安全
At this point, I'd just be taking your money. You're safe.
我不知道该如何谢你
I don't know how to thank you.
答应我一件事
Promise me one thing.
我知道我得用那个高档烧烤架
I know, I know. I got to use that big fancy grill.
我本来打算说记得设置好报♥警♥功能
I was gonna say please be sure to set your alarm,
但是没错
but, yeah,
知道你终于在了不起的烧烤架上
I will sleep better at night knowing you finally
放了一块肋眼牛排后我晚上会睡得更香
tossed a rib eye on that magnificent bastard.
-再见 -再见
- Bye. - Bye.
妹子
Girl!
别闹了
Oh, stop.
我们开始看电影吧
Let's just start watching the movie.
-我们刚看了一部 -嗯
- I think we just watched one. - Mm-hmm.
一部浪漫喜剧
A little romantic comedy
讲的是孤独的富家女和她的保镖
about the lonely rich girl and her bodyguard.
我
And I-ee-I...
将永远爱你
Will always love you-ooh-ooh...
好了别闹了
All right, knock it off.
我说过他不是我喜欢的类型
I told you, he's not my type.
你说得对你只跟超帅
You're right. You only date super handsome,
情绪不稳定的混♥蛋♥约会
emotionally unavailable jerks.
听到这个词就让我欲♥火♥焚身
Mmm. Just hearing that turns me on.
也许是时候进行改变了
Maybe it's time for a change.
没人会评判你
No one's gonna judge you.
就算他们评判了谁在乎啊你快乐了
And if they do, who cares? You're happy.
是啊我也有喜欢的类型
Yeah. Hey, I had a type, too,
那可不是轮椅男