I said "If."
即使那样 对你来说也不够
Even then, it wouldn't have been enough for you,
因为什么都无法让你满意
because nothing's ever enough for you.
如果你孤独终老有个原因
And if there's a reason you're gonna be alone forever,
那就是原因所在
that's it.
我有两个选择
I have two choices.
我可以去抽烟
I can go smoke,
也可以用这把牛排刀捅你的手
or I can stab you in the hand with this steak knife.
我就知道你没种
I knew you didn't have it in you.
尤里 等等 我得告诉你一件事
Yuri, wait, I need to tell you something.
什么
What?
我今晚没法和你做♥爱♥
I can't have sex with you tonight.
好吧
Okay.
也许明晚也不行
And maybe tomorrow night.
好吧
Okay.
我的意思是 我可能要等一段时间
It might be a while, is what I'm trying to say.
没问题
No problem.
等等 我在告诉你 你得不到我这样的天仙
Wait, I'm telling you you can't have any of this magic,
你也没意见吗
and you're fine with it?
如果等待意味着和你共度更多时光
Hey, if waiting means spending more time with you,
聊天 大笑 享受幸福时光 我愿意等一辈子
talking and laughing and-and being happy, I'll wait forever.
我准备好了
I'm ready.
我不是想说服你
I'm not trying to talk you into it.
你说服了 你这个出色的男人
Well, you did, you magnificent man.
我七年没做了
I haven't done this for seven years.
希望你万事俱备
I hope your affairs are in order.
我怎么了
What's wrong with me?
我为这男人疯狂 而我一有机会
I mean, I'm crazy about this guy, and the first chance I got,
就牺牲了他
I threw him under the bus.
我觉得你害怕了
Well, it sounds to me like you got scared.
俱乐部的女人们
Those women from the club
八卦我好多年了
have been gossiping about me for years.
特别是薇薇安
Especially Vivian.
现在她们终于不再窃窃私语
Now I'm finally at a place where they've stopped whispering
而是开始说 我们一起吃午餐吧
and started saying "Let's do lunch."
我是说
I mean,
我们从来都不去 但她们至少说了
we never go, but they say it.
所以我惊慌失措
So I panicked.
我想着 如果我承认我在和
I thought if I admitted I was on a date
喝啤酒的警♥察♥安迪约会 八卦又会开始
with Andy the beer-drinking cop, the gossip would start
我会再次失去她们
and I'd lose 'em again.
是啊 你可不想失去
Yeah, you wouldn't want to lose the people
那些不跟你吃午餐的人
you don't go to lunch with.
我是个糟糕肤浅的人
I'm a terrible, shallow person.
是的
Yes.
但你没以前那么糟糕肤浅
But you're less terrible and shallow than you used to be.
这很奇怪
You know, it's weird.
你说话总是显而易见
The things you say are so obvious,
但总能让我感觉更好
but they do make me feel better.
我得走了
I got to go.
那我就不强留你了
Oh, if you must.
-我去接 -等它转到语♥音♥信箱
- I'll get it. - u202dLet it go to voice...
邦妮 是邦妮
Hey, Bonnie. It's Bonnie.
我知道 她给我打电♥话♥时 我也是这种感受
I know, I feel that way when she calls me, too.
听着 我很抱歉在你耳边唠唠叨叨
Look, I'm sorry to chew your ear off,
但她简直不可理喻
but she's impossible.
我提出跟她共度情人节
I offer to spend Valentine's Day with her,
她依然找事吵架
and she still picks a fight.
你的确告诉了她 她要孤独终老
Well, you did tell her she was gonna die alone,
你也对我说过这话 这的确很伤人
and as a person you've said that to, it does hurt.
我身边的人真是像雪花一样脆弱
Bunch of snowflakes I hang out with.
-她吃完了吗 -稍等
- Is she finished? - Oh, uh, hang on.
听着 邦妮
Listen, Bonnie,
你俩有一种模式
you two have a pattern.
只需一人就能打破模式
It only takes one of you to break it,
我觉得那人肯定是你
and I think it's got to be you.
真蠢 继续
Dumb. Go on.
是你给我打电♥话♥的
Hey, you called me.
所以每次她因为她人生中的不幸
So I'm not supposed to defend myself
来责怪我时
every time she blames me
我就不该为自己辩护吗
for everything that's wrong in her life?
你一直都这样做 从来都不管用
Well, it's what you always do and it never works,
为什么不尝试一下不同的做法
so why not try something different?
说出一件我能做的事
Name one thing I could possibly do.
你可以聆听
You could just listen
试图理解她的立场
and try to understand where she's coming from.
不行 你还有什么招
Nah. What else you got?
你让他拿走了我的餐盘吗
You let him take my plate?
他问都没问
He didn't even ask.
再见 亚当 我爱你
Goodbye, Adam, I love you.
这是场灾难 我们回家吧
So this was a disaster. Let's go home.
先别急 坐下
Not yet. Sit down.
首先 我想说我很抱歉
First, let me say I'm sorry
因为我对你说了孤独终老的刻薄话
for that mean thing I said about you ending up alone.
我不是针对你
It's not personal.
我对玛乔丽 温蒂都说过
I've said it to Marjorie, Wendy...
在她生日时 我记得
On her birthday. I remember.
总之 你和我开始在聊天
Anyway, you and I started to have a conversation,
我觉得我们该聊完
and I think we should finish it.
你说你单身都是我的错
You were saying it's my fault you're single,
我想听你说更多 请说吧
and I want to listen to more of that, please.
真的吗
Really?
是的 我想知道你为什么这么觉得
Yeah, I want to know why you feel that way.
这要追溯到我小时候
It goes back to when I was a kid.
你带了很多男友回家 我以为
You brought boyfriends home that I thought
他们会一直在我们身边 但从来没有过
were gonna be in our lives forever but they never were.
那不是
That is not...
请继续
Please continue.
看到那一切教会了我 男人不会一直留在你身边
Watching that kind of taught me men don't stick around.
我都不知道一段健康的恋爱是什么样的
I didn't even know what a healthy relationship looked like.
我要怎么去找
How was I supposed to find one?
好吧
Wow. Okay.
这很奇怪
This is weird.
你为什么不回嘴
Why aren't you fighting back?
因为你说的一切都是真的
Because everything you're saying is true.
那之前你也没停止反驳呀
That's never stopped you before.
也许我在尝试不同的方法
Maybe I'm trying something different.
好吧
Okay.
我知道谈恋爱对你来说为什么很难
Look, I get why relationships are hard for you.
我是个糟糕的榜样
I was a terrible role model.
帮你说句话
Well, in your defense,
你那时候喝得烂醉
you were a big old drunk at the time.
那不是个借口
That is not an excuse.
但你是单身妈妈 我也不好带
But you were a single mom and I was a handful.
很可爱 但是不好带
Adorable but a handful.
考虑到我让你经历过的事 你简直是个天使
Considering what I put you through, you were an angel.
直到五年级
You know, until fifth grade,
你开始去酒橱
when you started hitting the liquor cabinet.
妈妈 没有酒橱
Mom, there was no cabinet.
酒放在你床旁边的地板
There was the floor next to your bed,
烤箱 还有浴室架
the oven, and the shower caddy.
你还好好活着 这真了不起
That you're functional in the world is amazing.
别对自己太苛刻
Don't be so hard on yourself.
是我总是提起过去
I'm the one who's always bringing up the past
把气撒在你身上
and throwing it in your face.
是啊 但那些事我都做过
Yeah, but I did all those things.
在很久之前
A long time ago.
我得赶快翻篇
I need to get over it already.
这样吧 你别自责
Well, how about you stop beating up on yourself
现在没谈恋爱了好吗
about not being in a relationship?
你会谈的