你为了孩子鞠躬尽瘁
You put everything you've got into your children.
你教导他们 养育他们
You teach them, you nurture them,
引导他们走人生正确的道路
you shepherd them along life's winding path.
但如果 经过一系列栽培
But what if, after all that,
他们却长成了白♥痴♥
they grow up to be morons?
各位
Okay, everyone,
几天前
如果我们想要卖♥♥掉迷你厢车
if we have any hope of selling the minivan,
就得把它打扫干净
we got to clean it up.
这意味去除所有污渍和臭味
That means getting rid of all the stains and smells.
这可是十年陈的牛奶和屁混合味
That is 10 years of old milk and farts right there.
为什么我们要卖♥♥♥车♥
Why do we have to sell it?
因为这是人生的重要里程碑
Because it's a rite of passage.
迷你厢车适合带小宝宝的家庭
Minivans are for families with little kids.
奥图一家要进入新时代
The Ottos are entering a new era.
泰勒会开车 奥利弗今年拿驾照
Taylor can drive, Oliver gets his permit this year...
而你也够大了 如果你爹和我打算去野营
And you're old enough to squeeze in between these two
你也能挤在他俩中间
if we ever go on that camping trip
不过我是永远永远不去野营的
that I'm never, ever going to sign off on.
我会想它的
I'm gonna miss this thing.
你会想它
You're going to miss it?
对 它对我来说很重要
Yeah. It means a lot to me.
你们把它开回来的那天
The day you guys brought it home
我决定去上哈佛
was the day I decided to go to Harvard
好让自己变富
so I could become rich
永远不用开这种象征平庸的中层阶级垃圾
and never have to drive this symbol of middle-class mediocrity.
我对它又爱又恨
I love and I hate it,
所以谢谢 以及你们怎么敢
so thank you and also how dare you.
我也会想它的
I'm gonna miss this thing, too.
每个溅痕和污渍都有历史
Every spill and stain has a memory.
这是奥利弗五岁时撒了他的多种麦圈麦片
Here is where Oliver threw up his Cheerios when he was 5.
其实是烤面包麦片
They were actually Toasted O's,
有机的那种
the generic ones.
那时我们才意识到
That's when we realized
他对杂牌的食品过敏
he was allergic to off-brand foods.
我以前特别爱看着后排座椅
I used to love looking in the back seat
看着三个可爱的小脑袋晃悠
and seeing those three little heads bobbing around.
我的小眼睛看到了
I spy with my little eye...
一些红色
something red.
给你们一个提示
I'll give you a hint.
消防车
A fire truck!
红色的噪音
A red noise!
每次你谈起过去
Every time you talk about the past,
你总要强调
you make a point of saying
自己看起来像亚历桑德拉·安布罗休
you look exactly like Alessandra Ambrosio.
我喜欢精准地还原故事 格雷格
I like to tell the story accurately, Greg.
我想念你们还是可爱 肉乎小宝贝的那会儿
I miss when you were such cute, squishy, little babies.
现在我看你们 只看到免费劳动力
But now I look at you, I just see free labor.
赶紧去干活
Get to work.
西港联合学校
后备民兵之家
我有好消息告诉你们
I have great news for you guys.
安娜凯特正式从疯人院毕业了
Anna-Kat has been officially sprung from the looney bin.
你说什么
Excuse me?
疯人院
The looney bin.
怪胎工厂
The quacky factory.
安娜凯特不用再参加
Anna-Kat no longer has to attend
埃莉医生的特殊教育班了
Dr. Ellie's Special Ed class.
确实是好消息
That is good news.
有没有不那么得罪人的说法
Is there a less offensive way to say that?
我觉得没有
I don't think so, no.
安娜凯特的强迫症好多了
Anna-Kat's OCD has really improved.
她已经准备好和大伙待一整天了
She's ready to be with everyone all day.
听到这个我们很开心
We're happy to hear that,
但我们也担心这是否有些太快了
but we're also concerned it might be a tad premature.
是吗
We are?
是的
Yes, we are.
阿布林校长 你确定她准备好了吗
Principal Ablin, are you sure that she's ready?
这个暑假
This summer,
她看了约翰·古德曼的炸♥弹♥防空洞电影
she watched that John Goodman bomb shelter movie
把自己的整个衣柜改造成了末日堡垒
and turned her entire closet into a doomsday bunker.
二等兵
Privet?
安娜凯特 二等兵
Anna-Kat? Privet?
可喜的是
On the plus side,
米哈伊尔说如果我们
Mikhail said we have a place to stay
-有幸去圣彼得堡可以住他家 -对
- if we ever make it to St. Petersburg. - Yeah.
安娜凯特也许还没准备好
Anna-Kat might not be ready for this.
你说这是个新时代 这正是她现在的状态
You said it was a new era, and that's exactly what she started.
但如果她没准备好迎接呢
But what if she's not ready for the new era?
就像恐龙和冰河世纪
Like the dinosaurs and the Ice Age.
是小行星灭绝了恐龙
A meteor killed the dinosaurs.
别跟我抠字眼 格雷格
Don't science me, Greg.
凯蒂 我们搬来这里
Katie, we moved to this town
就是为了让她获得特殊教育
so she could get the special help she needed,
现在奏效了
and it worked.
这是件好事
This is a good thing.
但我喜欢那个埃莉医生看着她
But I liked that Dr. Ellie was an extra pair of eyes on her,
这样如果她又跑偏了
and if she slipped off the rails,
医生可以把她一把拉回正轨
she was right there to put her back on.
每个新时代♥开♥始 都注定会有改变
When you start a new era, things are bound to change.
所以你是说我该冷静点
So you're saying I should calm down?
不 我已经学会避开你的生气语句了
No, I've learned to avoid your trigger phrases --
"冷静""你反应过度了"
"Calm down," "You're overreacting,"
"真的吗 我以为她很好"
"Really? I thought she was nice."
你真是越来越了解我了
You've just about got the hang of me.
安娜凯特
Anna-Kat?
我们有好消息告诉你
We have some good news for you.
你已经正式从埃莉医生的班上毕业了
You have officially graduated from Dr. Ellie's class.
真的吗
Really?!
我们很确定你已经准备好了
We're pretty sure you're ready for this.
其实我们没法真的确认
I mean, there's no way for us to really know
你是否准备好了
if you're ready.
除非你没有准备好
Unless you're not ready.
但你已经准备好了
But you're ready.
-也许吧 -甜菜头
- Maybe. - Rutabaga.
那是什么意思
What does that mean?
这是我和你♥妈♥的♥暗号♥
It's a code your mom and I have
提示我觉得她的教育方法不好
for when I think she's being a bad parent.
你听见了吗 富兰克林
You hear that, Franklin?
我不用再去埃莉医生的班了
I got sprung from Dr. Ellie's class.
为什么
Why?
埃莉医生的班是特殊教育班
Well, Dr. Ellie's class is for Special Education,
我猜他们觉得我好了
and I guess they think I'm better.
特殊教育 我还以为是家政学
Special Education? I thought it was Home Ec.
你为什么以为是家政学
Why did you think it was Home Ec?
说来话长
It's a long story.
我妈告诉我是家政学
My mom told me it was Home Ec.
看来也不是那么长
I guess it wasn't a long story.
泰勒在帮你们洗车吗
Is Taylor helping you guys clean?
对 我在后面洗呢
Yeah, I'm out here washing the back.
泰勒 停下
Taylor! Stop!
你不能在车上用抛光粉
You can't use scouring powder on a car!
为什么 一切都洗下来了
Why? Everything's coming off.
包括油漆
Including the paint!
泰勒 我发誓
Taylor, I swear --
不 知道吗 凯蒂 这是我们的错
No, you know what? Katie, this one is on us.
她18岁了
She's 18 years old,
但显然 我们没教会她任何常识
and apparently, we've taught her no common sense.
你说得对
You're right.
当你孩子还有一年就要自立时
When your child is a year away from leaving home
还这么糊里糊涂
and is this clueless,
确实应该怪家长
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