Katie, great job on the Spring Gala!
Now you're getting paid to plan parties.
奥图太太 你的甜甜圈 还有下面的垫子
Mrs. Otto, your donut, and a doily to go underneath.
A donut doily.
I need a moment.
When I started having children 17 years ago,
I never thought the day would come when I'd...
finally be able to start work.
I -- What the hell are you doing?
And why does your breath smell like you just threw up grass?
Ow! Off my boob!
Oh, man, stress dream.
Today's my first day of work in 10 years.
Can I do this?
Okay, Luthor, fetch me my slippers
and all the energy from my 20s.
Okay, guys, how do I look?
Like you're ready to turn the business world upside down.
Don't pressure me.
I'm not looking to turn the business world upside down.
Okay, then I'll just say that you look beautiful.
I'm a professional woman, Greg.
I don't want to be judged on my appearance.
奥利弗 你结婚后 可能有一天会碰到
Oliver, when you get married, you might someday encounter
what's known as a "No-win situation."
Here's what you do -- walk to the refrigerator,
look inside it for a while.
I just want to get through my first day without screwing up.
I, for one, just want to say thank you.
You're a mom. You're working.
You're a working mom. You've got it all.
What are you doing?
- Being encouraging. - I don't like it.
It's creeping me out.
Why am I being encouraging, you ask?
This is the kind of parenting I no longer have time for.
Because today's tip for success is, "Be encouraging."
Who's Johnny Diamond?
He's a motivational speaker
who's helped hundreds of people become filthy rich.
So now he's also my new role model.
I thought I was your role model.
爸 你真可爱 一点没变
Adorable, Dad. Never change.
Johnny D's holding a seminar in Westport later this month.
I just need 500 bucks to get in.
Oh, Greg, the boy just needs $500.
Go get my change purse.
No need. I have it right here in my shoe.
"You gotta learn to love the haters."
There's no way I'm giving you $500 to join a cult.
Oh, good morning, honey.
I don't need a Walmart greeter when I come down the stairs.
I just said "Good morning."
Stop being so bitchy about losing your awful Blondetourage friends.
They were the worst!
"I chewed and spit out the best meal last night."
Wow, it's like they're in the room.
Come on! It's club day at school.
You'll join a club and meet new people.
I checked the stupid list and they all seemed stupid.
Since I'm now working,
I am going to start delegating some parenting.
Oliver, if you motivate your sister to join a club,
I'll give you that money to join that cult.
成交 还有 "在他们突袭你的房♥子 没收你的财产前
Deal, and, "It's not a cult until they raid your compounds
and seize your assets."
Mama, are you gonna pick me up from school today?
不会 宝贝 但你♥爸♥安排了时间
No, sweetie, your daddy worked it out with his schedule.
He'll pick you up, but I will be home
to tuck you in and read you a story.
Not only do I promise, I pinky double-kiss promise.
Now that Mom is working, we all need to do our part.
Did everyone remember to pack your own lunches?
- Yeah. - Yes.
I packed the best lunch ever --
a jar of Spanish olives
and my olive-eating gloves.
And for the crowd at recess...
Seems like I need to change the Amazon password.
- Can I talk to you for a second? - Sure.
I feel like Anna-Kat's OCD is getting worse.
I mean, she looks like she's starting a meth lab.
Do you think it's because I'm going back to work again?
I mean, I know I'm going to ruin this kid's life,
but is this the moment when it actually happens?
It's a big change, but don't worry!
I got this.
Oh, crap! I gotta get to work.
I'm going to work!
Before you go...
I got you a little present.
So even when you're at work, the family's always with you.
Aww, I'm not taking that thing.
I got a job to get away from you people.
Bathroom's down the hall. Kitchen is back there.
And this is your office.
If I put a cot in here, I could move in.
Is there a shower in the building?
I could make it work.
Are you ready to meet Whitney?
I am so excited to finally meet the boss.
Whitney, you're on with Katie.
Oh, um, hi, Whitney!
I heard such great things about your Spring Gala.
I had to hire you right away.
I wanted to be there for your first day,
but I'm having some health issues.
Oh, no. I hope it's nothing serious.
Just serious enough to get the fun drugs.
So are you ready for your first assignment?
You'll be throwing a party
for the Westport socialite Nancy Granville.
不 凯蒂 你看起来很失望
Oh, no, Katie. You look disappointed.
没错 凯文 我什么都能看到
That's right, Kevin. I see everything.
So, Katie, you know Nancy?
Yes. Nancy and I have some history.
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