♬奥立，奥立，奥立♬奥立，奥立，奥立
♪ Ole, ole, ole, ole ♪ Ole, ole, ole, ole
♪Yessah哈哈
♪ Yessah ha-ha
♪是的,女孩。
♪ Yes, girls.
♬我的心在燃烧♬我的灵魂在燃烧♬感觉热，热，热
♪ Me mind on fire Me soul on fire ♪ Feeling hot, hot, hot
♪身边都是派对的人♪感觉很热，很热，很热♪在这样的夜晚该做什么♪音乐甜美我无法抗拒♪我们需要一首派对歌♥♪一首基本的音乐♪所以我们走，朗姆酒，朗姆酒
♪ Party people all around me ♪ Feeling hot, hot, hot ♪ What to do on a night like this ♪ Music sweet I can't resist ♪ We need a party song ♪ A fundamentaljam ♪ So we go rum-bum-bum-bum
♬热，热，热♬热，热，热
♪ Feeling hot, hot, hot ♪ Feeling hot, hot, hot
♬看人们摇摆听人们唱♬感觉热，热，热
♪ See people rocking Hear people chanting ♪ Feeling hot, hot, hot
♪保持这种精神来吧，我们来吧♪感觉很热，很热，很热♪它在空中庆祝的时候♪音乐甜美撩动你的心♪我们有这首派对歌♥♪这首基本的歌♥
♪ Keep up this spirit Come on, let's do it ♪ Feeling hot, hot, hot ♪ It's in the air Celebrating time ♪ Music sweet Captivate your mind ♪ We have this party song ♪ This fundamentaljam
♪于是我们开始朗姆酒♪感觉热，热，热…一♥夜♥情♥吗?
♪ So we go rum-bum-bum-bum ♪ Feeling hot, hot, hot... Casual sex?
♬感觉热，热，热♬
♪ Feeling hot, hot, hot ♪
你在开玩笑吧。
You gotta be kidding.
-我受不了了。——我也没有。
- I can't deal with it. - Me neither.
不了。一想到它我就疑神疑鬼。
Not anymore. Just the thought of it makes me paranoid.
-我们应该自我介绍一下。我是史黛西。——我梅丽莎。
- Well, we should introduce ourselves. I'm Stacy. - I'm Melissa.
现在，我们都害怕单身和做♥爱♥。
Right now, we're both scared of being single and having sex.
-我一直都很害怕做♥爱♥。——不是我。
- I've always been scared of sex. - Not me.
承认这一点有点尴尬，但我记得说“哇，那感觉真的很棒。你叫什么名字?”
This is kind of embarrassing to admit, but I remember when it was actually fun to say "Wow, that really felt great. What's your name again?"
我从没和我不认识的人上过床。
I've never had sex with someone I didn't know.
对此，我从未说过“哇，感觉真棒”。
For that matter, I've never said "Wow, that felt really great".
性♥爱♥似乎一直是感觉和男人真正联♥系♥的最好方式。
Sex always seemed like the best way to feel really connected with guys.
我想那是因为我长大了。
I guess that's 'cause I grew up when I did.
在性革命期间，我并不是引领潮流的人。
I wasn't much of a trendsetter during the sexual revolution.
如果我能更像史黛西就好办多了。
It would've been a lot easier if I would've been more like Stacy.
-梅丽莎，你肯定猜不到——什么?
- Melissa, you'll never guess what. - What?
昨天晚上，肯尼·克里奇来到我照看孩子的地方，你猜怎么着?
Last, night, Kenny Kreiger came over to where I was baby-sitting and guess what?
什么?
What?
-我们在鬼混，猜猜发生了什么?——什么?
- We were fooling around and guess what happened? - What?
他让我摸它。
He made me touch it.
太奇怪了。就像皮肤一样，只是不同而已。
It was so weird. It was like skin, only different.
它是什么颜色的?
What color was it?
我不知道，我没看。我只是碰了一下。
I don't know, I didn't look at it. I just touched it.
-你没见过?-我不知道，感觉就像…橙色。
- You never saw it? - Well, I don't know, it felt like... Orange.
到了高三，我看到了。但我还是不能告诉你它是什么颜色。
By senior year, I saw it. But I still couldn't tell you what color it was.
在我17岁生日一个月后，我终于做到了。用它。
A month after my 17th birthday, I finally did it. With it.
-就这样吗?我们成功了吗?-是的。
- Is that it? Did we do it? - Yeah.
有点疼。但这很好。
It kinda hurt. But it was good.
是的。你看到我的另一只鞋了吗?
Yeah. Did you see my other shoe anywhere?
到了大学二年级，我知道我不能再拖了。
By my second year of college, I knew I couldn't put it off any longer.
我是宿舍里唯一的处♥女♥。
I was the only virgin left in the dorm.
除了罗尼，他对性的了解比我还少。
Except Ronny, who knew even less about sex than I did.
拜托，罗尼，你是我最好的男性朋友。
Please, Ronny, you're my best male friend.
我希望第一次做♥爱♥的人是我觉得舒服的人。
The first time I do it, I want it to be with someone I'm comfortable with.
嗯…好吧。但事后我们可别慌。
Well... Okay. But let's not get all freaked out afterwards.
谢谢，我真的很感激。
Thanks, I really appreciate it.
-我想我现在应该脱衣服了?-那太好了。
- I guess I should undress now? - That would be good.
你要前戏吗?
You want foreplay?
是的。那会好。
Yeah. That... Would be good.
我特别喜欢那些有潜力的艺术类型。
I was especially hot for struggling artistic types with a lot of potential.
比如贝勒·施奈尔夫，新后流行表现主义者。
Like Baylor Schneff, neo-post-pop-Expressionist.
他的性♥爱♥就像他的艺术。
His lovemaking was just like his art.
原始的,但充满激♥情♥。
Primitive, but passionate.
布莱恩·埃利斯，滴汗乐队的首席吉他手。
Brian Ellis, lead guitarist with Dripping Sweat.
我怎么也看不够后台通行证。
I couldn't get enough of those backstage passes.
冈瑟·克罗格，训练我的副主厨。
Gunther Kroger, the sous chef that trained me.
他教我在厨房♥里要相信自己的直觉。
He taught me to trust my instincts in the kitchen.
乔伊·伊根斯，傻笑包厢的闭幕表演。
Joey Eagans, the closing act at the Giggle Box.
他在水平方向上的时机甚至更好。
His timing was even better horizontally.
但并不是我生命中的每个男人都是艺术天才。
But not every man in my life was an artistic genius.
我必须承认，有些人是非常有吸引力的陌生人。
Some, I must admit, were very attractive strangers.
那是80年代早期，性仍然是结识新朋友的好方法。
It was the early '80s and sex was still a good way to meet new people.
哦,对不起。
Uh, excuse me.
我从来不像史黛西那样爱冒险。
I was never as adventurous as Stacy.
除了和罗尼那次，我只和一个人睡过。
Apart from that time with Ronny, I only slept with one other person.
加里·厄德曼，差点嫁给我的人。
Gary Erdman, the guy I almost married.
我在幼儿园教书，我的一个孩子给我们安排的。
I teach kindergarten, and one of my kids fixed us up.
其实是乔伊的妈妈，但功劳是乔伊的。
Well, actually it was Joey's mum, but Joey took the credit.
天啊，我真喜欢结婚的感觉，不孤单的感觉。
God, I love the idea of being married, of not being by myself.
和加里在一起时，我以为我终于对自己的性取向感到自在了。
With Gary, I thought I was finally comfortable with my own sexuality.
给波德，进去，完毕。打开篮子……但在内心深处，我想我知道这行不通。
To Bird, inside, over. Open basket... But deep down I guess I knew it wasn't going to work.
好吧，我不知道，但我有预感。
Okay, so I didn't know, but I had a feeling.
——加里?——嗯?
- Gary? - Uh-huh?
-你爱我吗?——确定。
- Do you love me? - Sure.
我爱你。难以置信!凯尔特人总是能得到喘息的机会。
I love you. Unbelievable! The Celtics always get the breaks.
婚礼前两周，加里改变了主意。
Two weeks before the wedding, Gary changed his mind.
他说他很抱歉，但他现在正处于自私的阶段。
He said he was sorry, but he was going through a selfish phase.
幸运的是，标签还在我的裙子上，但我不能退还那600张有字母组合的餐巾纸。
Luckily, the tags were still on my dress, but I couldn't return the 600 monogrammed napkins.
哪怕就一次，我也想穿着性感的白色裙子在我周围飘舞而不是让男人们尖叫着跑开。
Just once, I'd like to wear a sexy white dress blowing all around me and not have men run away screaming.
哪怕只有一次，我也希望能有一种做♥爱♥的体验不用去洗手间然后哭。
Just once, I'd like to have the kind of sexual experience where you don't go to the bathroom and cry afterwards.
我打赌玛丽莲做♥爱♥后在浴室里哭了。
I bet Marilyn cried in the bathroom after sex.
可能不止一次。每个人都一样。
Probably more than once. Everyone does.
——男人吗?-不行，他们睡着了。
- Men, too? - They can't, they're asleep.
也许梅丽莎嫉妒我鲁莽的过去，但在80年代中期，我开始后悔。
Maybe Melissa envied my reckless past, but some time around the mid-'80s, I started regretting it.
有一天，我在迷你超♥市♥排队，碰巧看到了杂♥志♥架。
One day I was standing in line at the Mini Mart and I happened to look at the magazine rack.
《时代》，《新闻周刊》，《人物》，每个封面都有。
Time, Newsweek, People, it was on every cover.
所以,史黛西。
So, Stacy.
-餐厅怎么样?哦,很好。
- How are things at the restaurant? - Oh, fine.
是吗?他们什么时候能让你当厨师?
Yeah? When are they gonna make you a chef?
很快。你有我的结果吗?
Soon. Do you have my results?
是的，别担心，你很好。
Yeah, don't worry, you're fine.
-你什么都检测了?-是的，我什么都测试过了。好吧?
- You tested for everything? - Well, yeah, I tested for everything. Okay?
-你很健康-你确定吗?
- And you're perfectly healthy. - Are you sure?
我肯定。再见,史黛西。
I'm sure. Goodbye, Stacy.
哦，谢谢，谢谢，谢谢你，让我们免于之前的轻浮，自然和…让我们面对现实吧，滥交太多的猛兽。
Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, for sparing a formerly flirtatious, spontaneous and... Let's face it, much-too-promiscuous slamhound.
你不会后悔的，因为从现在开始，我发誓我会过一种纯粹升华的生活。
You won't be sorry, 'cause from now on, I swear I'll lead a life of pure sublimation.
我要让我的小心脏做有氧运动。我冥想。我将谱写交响乐。
I'll aerobicize my little heart out. I'll meditate. I'll compose symphonies.
为了不让自己再碰人肉，我愿意做任何事。
I'll do anything to keep myself from ever touching human flesh again.
我要给"独身"这个词赋予新的含义。
I'll give new meaning to the word "celibacy".
哦……史黛西，你不必终身独身。
Oh... Stacy, you don't have to commit to lifelong celibacy.
只要进行安全性行为。
Just practise safe sex.
“安全的性行为”。
"Safe sex."
谁能想到这两个词会出现在同一个句子里?
Who'd have thought those two words would exist in the same sentence?
我不知道，也许禁欲也不是什么坏事。
I don't know, maybe abstinence isn't such a bad thing.
总比和事后不回你电♥话♥的人上♥床♥强。
Beats sleeping with guys who don't call you back afterwards.
你和我现在有更多的共同点，我们都害怕性。
And you and I have more in common now that we're both afraid of sex.
这是安慰。
That's consoling.
我想念它。我是说，没有它我不知道怎么接近男人。
I miss it. I mean, I don't know how to get close to men without it.
你的男朋友。
There's your boyfriend.
那又怎样?有你的。
So what? There's yours.
已经十个月零十七天了，在我看来唯一安全的男人是古德曼医生，而我对他不感兴趣。
Well, it's been ten months and 17 days, and the only man who looked safe to me was Dr. Goodman, and I wasn't attracted to him.
然后我似乎对任何人都不感兴趣，这比艾滋病更让我害怕。
Then it seemed like I wasn't attracted to anybody, which scared me more than AIDS did.
-你去哪儿了?-天啊，很抱歉，但我有个惊喜。
- Where were you? - God, I'm sorry, but I got a great surprise.
什么?
What?
这就是我们要去度假的地方。
This is where we're going on our vacation.
好吧。“绿洲健康水疗中心”。
Okay. "Oasis Health Spa".
他们都是锻炼。那不是度假。
They're all exercising. That's not a vacation.
不，有各种各样的社交活动。看，那里有舞会和聚会。
No, there's all kinds of social events. Look, there's dancing, and parties.
看它多漂亮。看。
Look how pretty it is. Look.
哦,不。
Oh, no.
我妈妈告诉我去夏威夷的游轮在那里我们可以躺在阳光下呆上一个星期。
My mom told me about a cruise to Hawaii where we can lay out in the sun and be blobs for a week.
这是一个假期。
That's a vacation.
是啊，但我们会遇到什么样的人呢?
Yeah, but what kind of guys are we gonna meet?
在这里，至少我们知道每个人都想保持健康。
At this place, at least we know everybody's into being healthy.
这能帮我克服我的妄想症。
I mean, it'll help me with my paranoia.
史黛西。进展得怎样?——哦。
- Stacy. How's it going? - Oh.
嗨,贝勒。你还记得他在艺穗节上的表现吗?
Hi, Baylor. Do you remember him from the Fringe Festival?
哦,是的。嗨。
Oh, yeah. Hi.
史黛西，我现在想做些完全不同的事。
Stacy, I'm into something totally different now.
我都无法用语言表达。你为什么不过来呢?
I can't even put it into words. Why don't you come over?
不好意思，我们在吃午饭。
Um, uh, I'm sorry, we're having lunch.
哦,是的。好了,好了。我给你我的新地址。
Oh, yeah. Okay, great. Let me give you my new address.