Corky, why don't you tell us your story.
Well, as you know, my story is not
a "really tragic" story, unless...
boredom is tragic.
you know, I was married. I had every comfort you could ask for.
I thought that's what was gonna make my life meaningful.
I just stopped wanting to go to parties, and...
with my girlfriends.
For the record, I'd like to say
that I think I'd rather iron sheets than play tennis any day.
When I was, uh, about 11 years old,
I lived with my grandmother near the Black Forest, and...
In a little house, second floor,
and I had a cat.
Her name was Fifi.
Well, I did get an Oregon Cultural Heritage Award.
Ah, these awards are not important.
- Please. - Okay.
I got a prescription for Valium,
which at least made the days go...
Yeah, okay, there's this rock
that was about this big that had these grooves in it,
like, uh, you know, little bumps, and I said,
"Well, Aunt Janey, what is this?"
她说 "怎么 你不知道这是什么"
And she said, "What? You don't know what that is?"
And I was like, "No."
And she's like, "Well, that's my titty rock."
And I was like, "Your titty rock?"
她回答 "对 我的美奶石"
She was like, "Yeah, my titty rock."
"That's for when you get in fights with girls.
You punch 'em in the tit with it." Not joking, not kidding.
Then one day, I just, like,
took off all my clothes and walked down the street.
found me and...
he brought me home and called my husband,
like I was a child.
And I, you know, I'm still wearing my wedding ring, but...
divorced now, and I'm... I'm much happier.
Maybe life's actually not supposed to be...
as meaningful as we think it is.
-谢谢 考基 -谢谢 考基
- Thanks, Corky. - Thanks, Corky.
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome to the stage Portland's celebrity cartoonist
大家好 我叫约翰 我是个酒鬼
Hi. My name is John, and I'm an alcoholic.
Hi. It's good to be here.
The last day that I walked,
I... I woke up without a hangover.
The last day I walked, I woke up without a hangover.
I was still loaded from drinking the night before.
I knew I had an hour or so of grace before the...
Of withdrawal symptoms set in.
What if I lost control, flipped out'?
The closest store where I could buy booze
was near a major intersection.
- How are you? - Staying cool.
-外面很热 对吧 -没错
- It's hot out there, isn't it? - Yeah.
- Good beach weather. - Yeah. Whew.
I tried to talk to the...
owner of the store and act real casual.
I work for Alvarado house painter.
Oh. We got tons of work.
Oh, you know, like I had everything under control.
They'd have to be blind not to see my hand shaking.
Yeah, I guess I'll just take that, uh, Tres Abuelos.
Hey, how's it going?
Wow, pretty groovy day, huh?
- Surf's coming up. - Yeah.
Sky gets any bluer,
it'll be singing a Muddy Waters tune.
穆迪·沃特斯 美国蓝调歌♥手 被尊称为"现代芝加哥蓝调之父"
I'm a songwriter.
I listen to a lot of different music.
- Um... - Want a drink?
I'm... I'm good.
Um, I'll see you around sometime, okay?
Oh. All right.
You've got a problem, Callahan.
I know three things about my real mother:
she was Irish-American, she had red hair,
she was a school teacher.
And she didn't want me.
The way with illegitimate Catholic babies in those days
was to remove them from the mother of birth...
...and put them in the care of the nuns for six months
in case the natural mother should change her mind.
Was my mother a queen?
Was she a whore?
Could I locate her and surprise her,
say, at a bank teller's window?
"对 我想兑现这张支票 妈"
"Yeah, I'd like to cash this check, Mom."
Oh, fuck. Help!
Oh, hey. Dude, you wiped out.
- Nice. - Can you help me up?
- Yeah, all right. - Easy, though.
-好的 -好了 慢点轻点
- Okay. - All right, now, nice and easy.
Don't try and show off.
-对 -转个方向 转一下
- Yeah! Oh! - Here, come around, turn around.
Here we go. All right.
Okay. Watch it.
小心 小心点 好了 好了
Careful, careful. There we go. There we go.
Yeah, lift him up.
You guys smell that? Oh, what's that smell?
Oh, that reeks, man. Oh.
Yeah, pull up that right leg right there.
- Right here? - Yeah.
Yeah, you lift up that right pant leg there.
Yeah, just attach that into the white thing.
- Thank you. - You draw this?
- Yeah. - Whoa.
-你能看懂吗 -太棒了 能
- You get it? - Awesome. Yeah.