Despite all the warnings, she was smoking in bed.
Fell asleep. Bad move.
[ Liquid Pouring, Metal Clanks ]
And the fire begins.
[ Screaming ]
Don't worry, ma'am! I'm here to save you!
Keep those people back! This is an emergency!
[ Thud, Squeak ] Don't you dare die on me!
Breathe, damn it, breathe!
She's gonna make it! She's gonna make it!
[ Whooshing ]
[ Screams ]
[ Man ] Rick, wait up!
Okay, I'll check it out.
Though it may be hard to believe that a single biology professor...
making in excess of $17,500 a year...
could manage to find time to grade your first biology research papers, I did.
As you can see, there was a shocking statistical anomaly.
Pretty much all of you got A's.
[ Cheering ]
You deserve to congratulate yourselves.
I've got a real good feeling about this group.
I think that the parade of A's is gonna continue...
straight through to the end of the semester.
So much for the bell curve. Bell curves suck, man!
[ Applause ] Mr. Kane!
Dr. Kane, seems to be a mistake here.
You see, you see, my brother and I each got a C-minus on our reports.
C-minus. Me too.
Allow me to share something with the entire class.
Um, last night, as I was grading papers,
I came across two gems, both entitled "Cells are Bad."
Both with just one paragraph,
which I unfortunately committed to memory.
"Cells are bad.
"My uncle lives in a cell. It's 10 foot by 12,
"and he has to read the same old boring magazine every day.
The end." [ Laughter, Applause ]
You're talking about our papers, aren't you, Dr. Kane? Yes, I am.
Although my standards are nowhere near where they used to be,
I still could not bring myself to put an "A" on top of those beauties.
I hope you understand, guys. Sure.
Let's get back to work at the periodic table here,
which is not, as some of you suppose--
A meteor? Where?
Uh-huh. Route 8♥9♥-♥A.
Yeah, yeah, got it.
[ Chuckles ] Yeah, rest assured, I will be there.
So how does it look, Professor?
Uh, really, really tight, Nadine, but not too tight.
You just don't have the points. I'm sorry.
But don't take it too hard. Geology's a lot tougher subject than people think.
Are you sure? Couldn't you just check again?
I really need this credit to get into nursing school.
Wouldn't you be more comfortable in a different profession,
one where people's lives were not dependent on you?
Actually, what I really want to be is Miss Arizona,
but my pageant consultant says that nursing school will really impress the judges.
Makes me look like I want to help people.
Ready for lunch?
Or... have you already eaten?
I was just concluding a teacher-student conference...
with Nadine here, Ira. Harry,
your dedication to your job is an inspiration to us all.
Regrettably, Nadine, I have a prior lunch engagement with Professor Kane.
We'll talk about your extra credit later, okay?
Let me grab my stuff. [ Coughs ]
Where you taking me? Meteor hit last night.
Oh, that's what that was. Yep.
As the Glen Canyon official representative of the U.S. Geological Survey,
I have been assigned to check it out.
I'm taking you along in case I actually have to do something scientific.
Then we eat. You're an official representative of the U.S.G.S.?
Signed up over the Internet.
What, were you on some cheerleader site...
and you accidentally got linked over to the U.S.G.S. site?
Something like that.
小心点，慢慢来. 小心点，慢慢来. 那是我的宝贝，
Watch her, now. Take it easy. That's my baby.
There you go. Take it easy.
Whoa! Whoa! Come on!
Be careful! Who's gonna pay me for the damage to my goddamn car?
Son, I told you, we don't do that. It's force majeure.
Force majeure, my ass! That car's a classic '73 Buick Riv.
Hey, now, who are you?
Harry Block, United States Geological Survey.
This is my secretary, Ira Kane.
We're here to investigate the meteor if, indeed, that is what it is.
Of course it's damn meteor. It almost blew up my damn car.
I'm still fuzzy on what you were doing there in the middle of the night.
Yeah, with Betty Lou here.
For the thousandth time, I was practicing for my fireman's exam,
which, for your information, started about seven minutes ago,
so I would really appreciate it if you'd let me get outta here.
So you and the blonde found the meteor?
Yeah, I found it. It bounced my car 200 feet in the air.
Okay, can I go? Bob, get him out of here right now.
Don't leave town.
Sheriff, is this the, um,
the point of penetration?
Yeah. It punched through into a cavern about 80 feet down.
[ Whistles ]
Now, that's a hole.
[ Groans ] Damn it! Next time, you're carrying this case.
Hey, you're the U.S.G.S. representative.
I believe that responsibility comes with the badge.
Oh, my God. Look at that.
I believe we've located the target.
All right, two big smiles, fellas. Cheese!
Okay, hold it up now. All right?
Ohh! Got it.
Ooh, it's hot. It's really hot. I'll hold you up, okay?
Show me a little more nightstick.
Look at these jackasses. Muscles. Muscle pose.
Give me big smiles, fellas. Looking good, fellas.
At ease, gentlemen! The Feds are here.
Feds? What Feds?
Who let you down here? Let's not get combative, Lieutenant.
The U.S.G.S. and local law enforcement...
have a long history of cooperation.
We're just down here to get some scientific samples, if that's okay with you guys.
Uh, yeah, sure.
We got all the, uh, photographic evidence we need. Carry on.
Thank you. Keep up the good work.
It just hit last night, and it's got...
stuff growing on it.
Could be cave moss.
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