糟了
Oh, bollocks.
我们有麻烦了
We've got a problem.
-网络攻击 -是的 首相
- A cyber attack? - Yes, Prime Minister.
我喝了两瓶红酒
Took me two bottles of wine
吞了半包安♥眠♥药♥才终于睡着
and half a packet of sleeping pills to finally nod off.
你却把我吵醒
And you wake me
就因为一个乌龙黑客偷了你的密♥码♥吗
because some fat-fingered hacker's pinched your PIN number?
其实事情比这个更严重一点 首相
Well, it's a little more serious than that, Prime Minister.
我们所有特工的身份
The identities of every one of our serving agents
全被曝光了
have been exposed.
什么
What?
-是谁干的 -还不确定 长官
- Who's doing this? - We're not sure, ma'am.
一周后我要首次主持十二国集团峰会
So one week before I host my first G12 Summit,
有人在这时搞垮了整个英国安全机构
Britain's entire security apparatus has been taken down
而你却毫不知情吗
and you know absolutely nothing?
差不多是这样 长官 没错
That does pretty much sums up the situation, ma'am, yes.
那你最好立刻派人去给我查出个究竟
Well, you better get someone on it and find me some answers!
是的 但问题就在这里 我们没有特工了
Yes, but that's the problem. We don't have any agents left.
全都被暴露了
They've all been outed.
那就召回以前的特工
So bring back an old one!
各单位注意 我是朱丽叶·厄科
All units, this is Juliet Echo.
等待目标位置坐标
Stand by for target coordinates.
目标已锁定 重复 目标已锁定
Target acquired. Repeat, target acquired.
来看看我们抓到了谁
Now then, what have we here?
对不起 长官
Sorry, sir.
没关系 巴格利
Never mind, Baggaley.
你的隐藏和伪装明显有进步了
Your concealment and camouflage work is definitely improving.
谢谢你 长官
Thank you, sir.
快点
Come on.
你也是 依巴杜拉
You, too, lbadulla.
干得漂亮 这可是一级陷阱
Excellent. That is a first-class man-trap.
-加六分学院分 -赞
- Six house points. - Yes!
好了 回学校吧
Right, let's get back to school
免得校监发现你们不见
before matron notices you're missing.
别担心 没有陷阱了
And don't worry, there aren't any more booby traps.
当然 除了这一个
Apart from this one, of course.
英格力士老师呢
Mr. English?
我们没看到他 长官
We haven't seen him, sir.
这就叫伪装
And that's camouflage.
上
And go.
上
And go.
上
And go.
保障孩子的健康是我们的第一要务
The welfare of your children is our paramount concern.
他们绝对不会接触到任何不必要的危险
They're never exposed to any unnecessary risk,
我向你们保证
I assure you.
看来你的炸♥弹♥处理课不及格
I think that's an "F" for your bomb disposal coursework,
哈特斯利
Hattersley.
你今晚特别美
"You're looking particularly beautiful tonight."
你今晚特别美
You're looking particularly beautiful tonight.
干杯
Ilching!"
干
Ching!
-祝你学期假愉快 老师 -谢谢
- Have a good half-term, sir! - Thank you.
谢谢老师
Thank you, sir.
你是认真的吗 我们只剩下他了
Are you seriously telling me this is all we've got?
其他人要么殉职
Most of them are either dead,
要么在做臀部手术
having hip operations
要么刚做完前列腺手术正在康复
or recovering from prostate surgery.
好吧
Okay.
在做简报之前
Before your briefing,
需要你们重新签《政♥府♥保密条例》
we'll need you to re-sign the Official Secrets Act.
谢谢
Thank you.
谢谢
Thank you.
谢谢
Thank you.
非常感谢
Thank you very much.
你们有谁记得这个吗
Any of you gentlemen remember this?
蒙特·布拉诺爆破笔 好几年都没看到过了
Ooh, the Mont Blano Blaster. Haven't seen one of those for years.
如果没记错的话 拔掉笔盖后
Take the cap off and, if memory serves,
只有20秒的时间盖上
you've 20 seconds to replace it
否则其爆♥炸♥威力犹如闪光弹
or it detonates with the force of a stun grenade.
谢谢
Thank you.
先生们 左边是茶
Teas on the left, gentlemen.
右边是咖啡
And coffees on the right.
很好
Excellent.
该死的 我忘记带药出门了
Oh, damn it, I forgot my pills.
给 吃一颗我的吧
Here, have some of mine.
单一麦芽苏格兰威士忌
Scotch whisky, single malt?
非常感谢
Thank you very much.
咖啡
Coffee.
来 我端给你
Here, let me help you with that.
喝茶吗
Tea?
这杯需要再加点热水
Ooh, this one just needs a little top-up of hot water.
我去去就回
I'll be right back.
他就是可有可无的怪人
Man's a divot of the first order.
谁来帮他解脱痛苦
Someone should put him out of his misery.
还有布置这间房♥的人
Along with whoever furnished this room.
早上好 抱歉让你久等
Ah, good morning. Sorry to keep you.
其他人到了吗
Are the others here?
他们...睡着了
They, um... They nodded off.
好吧
Right...
你是哪位
And who are you exactly?
我叫英格力士
Enghsh.
-约翰尼·英格力士 -那好
- Johnny English. - Well...
英格力士
English.
你要立刻动身
You'll leave immediately.
我的手下会在路上跟你解释详细情况
My people will give you the full briefing en route.
你需要些什么吗
Oh, is there anything you need?
神经毒气鼻喷雾剂 四号♥类型甲壳
Yes, nerve gas nasal spray, a type-four exoskeleton...
你也许应该列张清单
You should probably start a list.
扼杀绞丝手表 要橡胶表带
And a garroting watch, with a rubber strap,
不要钢表带
not the steel bracelet
因为带环会勾到我手腕的毛
because the links get caught in the little hairs on my wrist.
我还需要波夫
Oh, and I'll also need a Bough.
波夫是什么
What's a Bough?
长官
Sir!
真高兴见到你
Wonderful to see you!
够了 波夫
Yes, all right, Bough.
我们要去执行任务 不是去度蜜月
We're going on a mission, not a honeymoon.
当然了 长官
Yes, of course, sir.
好像是你皮带的扣栓 长官
I think it's the pin of your buckle, sir.
它勾住我的毛衣了
It's caught on my jumper.
我看到了 波夫
Yes, I can see what's wrong, Bough.
你往你的左边走 我往我的右边走
If you go to your left and I'll go to my right.
抱歉 不对
I'm sorry, no,
你往你的右边走 我往我的左边走
if you go to your right and I'll go to my left.
不对 我顺时针方向走 你逆时针方向走
No. If I go clockwise and you go anti-clockwise...
不对 好像勾得更紧了 长官
Er, no, I think that's making it worse, sir.
我很惊讶这样居然解不开
I'm surprised that didn't work.
早上好 长官 您的特工激活包准备好了
Good morning, sir. I have your agent activation pack here.
局里分配的智能手♥机♥
Department-issue smartphone.
580兆像素相机
580-megapixel camera,
4.7寸视网膜高清显示
4.7-inch retina HD display.
精密的装置 它会发射什么 毒飞镖吗
Ingenious. And what does it shoot? Poison darts?
它不会发射任何东西 这只是一部手♥机♥
It doesn't shoot anything. It's a phone.
有一个推特按键 照片分享传输
There's a Twitter handle, lnstagram feed
局里的滴滴账号♥安全登录
and secure login for the department Uber account.
他在说什么 波夫
What's he on about, Bough?
我需要的是武器 不是一堆装门面的废物
I need a weapon. Not a box of gobbledygook.
我认为英格力士特工想说的是 长官
I think, uh, wh-what Agent English is getting at, sir,
这些设备可追踪性极高
is all this is highly trackable.
但是因为我们要对付的是一个经验丰富
But since we're dealing with a very sophisticated,