我在人力资源部工作也就是所谓的"人事部"
I work in Human Resources or "HR," as some people call it.
我的办公室里有一张海报上写着
And I have this poster in my office that says,
“找一个让你感到安全的地方并保持平静”
Keep calm and go to your safe place.
当我感到有点压力或者是很焦虑时
Well, when I get a little stressed out or my anxiety spikes,
我会闭上眼睛想象我家所在的死胡同
I close my eyes and picture my cul-de-sac,
我漂亮的妻子凯伦以及我的两个儿子帕特里克和麦克
and my wonderful wife, Karen, and our two sons, Patrick and Mikey.
因为这儿总是让我感到很安全
Because that's the place where I know everything is always okay.
不管发生什么事
No matter what.
两 周 前
再见了，麦克、帕特里克。-再见了，你们保重
Bye, Mikey, Patrick. Bye, you guys. -Bye, guys.
你们一到夏令营就给我们发短♥信♥
You can text us the minute you get to camp.
好的
Yeah, okay.
如果你们被蜱虫咬了，记得把它装进塑料袋里
And if you get any ticks,put it in the plastic baggie
记录好日期和被咬的时间，我会找人检验的
with the date and time of the bite, and I'll get them tested.
记得换袜子，你们两个？记得换袜子！
Change your socks. Okay, guys? Change your socks！
我们爱你们，爱你们！会想你们的！
We love you. We love you. We're gonna miss you！
我爱你们，玩得开心！
Love you guys! Have so much fun!
坚强些！
Be strong!
坚强些！
Be strong！
你觉得那个大巴司机清醒吗，亲爱的
Did that bus driver look sober to you, honey?
因为当我闻到他的酒气时他很诡异地望了我一下
Because he gave me a really weird look when I smelled his breath.
我认为你只是吓到他了
Well, I think you just startled him.
看，梅格在那里
Look, there's Meg.
嘿，梅格
Hey, Meg.
待 售 已售 梅格克拉夫斯顿
我卖♥♥出去了
I sold it.
真够快的！
That was so fast!
谢谢你
Thank you！
-谢谢你！
现金全款
All cash buyers.
现金全款？真够豪的！
All cash buyers? That's fancy！
是啊，最棒的是他们都没来看♥房♥♥
Yeah. And the best part is, they didn't even see it.
他们只是看了网上的图片
They just saw the pictures online.
我都没有见过他们，真是疯狂！
I haven't even met them in person. It's crazy！
谁会不看♥房♥♥就买♥♥的
Who buys a house without seeing it first?
就是啊，也许是名人？
I know. Maybe it's a celebrity, you know?
拜托，杰夫，那些人才不会搬到这里来
Come on, Jeff. No celebrity is gonna move here.
我希望他们不会在这里制♥造♥毒品
I hope it's not some kind of meth lab situation.
他来了
There he is.
抱歉，你去哪儿了？
Sorry. -Where have you been?
金考那里人多得要死
Kinko's was bananas.
那儿总是那样
It often is.
真令人激动，新邻居，对吧
So exciting. New neighbors, right.
凯伦，我把你的名片留在了屋里
And, Karen,I left your card in the foyer.
如果他们需要装潢师的话。-谢谢你
just in case they want a decorator. -Thank you.
你跟杰夫说过
So did you tell Jeff
我关于客卫的新点子吗
about my new idea for the guest bathroom?
还没
No.
艺术家阁楼
Artist's loft.
想想布鲁克林
Think Brooklyn, okay.
裸♥露♥的青砖、看得见的管道…
Exposed brick,visible plumbing. And...
和一个小便池
A urinal.
小便池
A urinal!
那是为我设计的，梅格希望我能够再站起来
That's really for me. Meg wants me standing up again.
我想我最好开始着手设计小便池了
Well, I suppose I'd better get started on the urinal.
是啊，才不是呢，你知道你接下来要干什么
Yeah, no. I know what you're getting started on.
空房♥子，孩子们都走了
Empty house, kids are gone.
拜托
Please！
蜜月！–好了，少♥儿♥不♥宜♥，少♥儿♥不♥宜♥
Honeymoon. -All right, keep it PG,keep it PG, guys.
我们正好要去其他地方发传♥单♥
Well, we gotta go flyer the subdivision anyway.
我们将要徘徊街头了。-是啊
We're gonna pound the pavement. -Yeah.
杰夫，你应该试试后入式。–我们会的
Jeff, you should try it hyena style. -We'll try it.
我就会发出这样的声音
That's the noise I make.
我觉得梅格的药不能停，宝贝
I think Meg has changed up her medication, honey.
那丹又是怎么回事？
What's Dan's excuse then?
他们简直就是在疯言疯语
Some of that stuff they were saying was demented.
–恶心死了 –就是
Disgusting. -Yeah.
也许他们说得对,我不知道
But maybe they have a point. I don't know.
这里就我们两个人
Alone in the house.
很久没这样了
First time in a long time.
是啊，我们可以为所欲为了
Yeah, I mean, we can do whatever we want.
我刻录了《傲骨贤妻》
I DVR-ed the Good Wife.
好极了！我去弄爆米花
Great. I'll make popcorn.
班纳曼父子公♥司♥
退后！–没问题
Back it up. -you got it.
后面还有多少空间？ -就快到了
How much room we got? -Almost there.
嘿，伯尼
Hey, Bernie.
新邻居马上就搬过来了吧
New neighbors aren't wasting any time moving in, are they?
对啊
Nope.
你会把那儿清理干净吧，伯尼
You're gonna clean that up, right, Berno.
当然
Always do.
好了，祝你有愉快的一天
Okay, have a good one.
快，伙计们，快离开这儿
Come on, guys. Let's get outta here.
快，伙计们，快走
Come on, fellas. Let's go. Come on!
麦道威尔–波顿国际，航♥天♥与国防
麦道威尔–波顿国际，航♥天♥与国防
麦道威尔–波顿国际，航♥天♥与国防
麦道威尔–波顿国际，航♥天♥与国防
麦道威尔–波顿国际，航♥天♥与国防
麦道威尔–波顿国际，航♥天♥与国防
麦道威尔–波顿国际，航♥天♥与国防
麦道威尔–波顿国际，航♥天♥与国防
麦道威尔–波顿国际，航♥天♥与国防
麦道威尔–波顿国际，航♥天♥与国防
麦道威尔–波顿国际，航♥天♥与国防
麦道威尔–波顿国际，航♥天♥与国防
麦道威尔–波顿国际，航♥天♥与国防
麦道威尔–波顿国际，航♥天♥与国防
麦道威尔–波顿国际，航♥天♥与国防
嗨，杰克，早上好！
Hi, Jack. Good morning!
别让人在飞机上跟你那样打招呼，“劫机”
Don't let anybody say that to you on a plane. "Hijack."
总之早上好
Good morning, anyway.
早安
Morning.
嗨，黛安娜
Hi, Diane.
杰夫，早上好
Jeff, good morning!
看到那些搬家车了吗
See those moving vans.
怎么可能看不到
Couldn't miss them.
天啊！-那
Gosh! -So,
–有新邻居的消息吗？ –没有
any word on the new neighbors? -No.
–什么都没有？ –没有
Anything? -Nothing.
我向你保证他们不会是戴夫和布里奇特那样的
Guarantee they're no Dave and Bridget.
那至少我们没有失去这个夏天
Well, at least the summer's not a total loss.
我是说我们还有啤酒节可以期待
I mean, we got Junetoberfest to look forward to.
对！没错！–还有我们的工作
Yes, we do. -And our jobs.
我们还有工作
Always have our jobs.
对了，楼上的工作还好吧？
By the way, how's it going upstairs?
天啊，杰夫，你知道我不能谈论楼上的工作的
Jesus, Jeff. You know I can't talk about what we do upstairs.
是，我知道，抱歉
Yeah. I know. It's all right.
对了…
Hey, by the way,
如果你想一起来的话我还要去上室内跳伞课
I still have those indoor skydiving lessons if you wanna join me.
我请客
My treat.
这周忙死了，孩子的事情，不过，也许吧
This week's really hectic. Kid stuff. But, maybe.
你给我发短♥信♥或者我发
Just text me. Or I'll text you.
好吧，我们回头再聊。再见
Okay, we'll talk about it later. Have a good one.
–好。嘿，席拉，早上好
All right. -Hey, Sheila. Good morning.
人力资源部
早安，露易丝
Morning, Louise.
早安，莎朗
Morning, Sharon.
嗨，杰夫！费什先生打过电♥话♥
Hi, Jeff. Dr. Fisher called.
是吗？他说什么？
Yeah? What did he say?
他说：“请杰夫不要再给我发关于室内跳伞的短♥信♥了”
He said, "Please tell Jeff to stop texting me about indoor skydiving."
他开玩笑的，他真风趣，嘿，道格！
He's joking. He's a riot. Hey, Doug.
嘿，山杰
Hey, Sanjay.
嘿，杰夫，我能用会儿你的电脑吗
Hey, Jeff. Can I use your computer?
我得再买♥♥一些抗抑郁的药
I need to reorder my anti-depressants.
当然，我的电脑就是你的电脑
Of course. Mi computer, su computer.
他是谁，在你的后面
Where are you? Who's that?
这是杰夫
This is Jeff.
我们不能上网，因为我们的工作很重要很机密
Jeff lets me use his computer because security prohibits Internet upstairs.
杰夫有他自己的网络了
And why does Jeff have Internet?