We're from the school The school of hard knocks
Who's ready to rock?
Ready to rock
Are you ready to rock?
Ready to rock
Rock it up, suckers, I can rock about the blocks
We're from the school The school of hard knocks
Who's ready to rock?
Ready to rock
Are you ready to rock?
Ready to rock
Rock it up, suckers I can rock about the blocks ?
我要给你看看我今天的成果
BOY: Let me show you what I made today.
好啊 我都等不及了
I can't wait.
不过我要先上楼换衣服
I need to go upstairs and change,
-然后开始准备晚餐 -好吧
and then I'll start dinner.
Okay. Okay.
(SONG PLAYING ON STEREO)
And the feeling's right
Oh, yes, it's ladies night
Oh, what a night
Oh, what a night
太妙了 今晚的节目是性感少♥妇♥
(SINGING ALONG) Oh, yes, it's ladies night
And the feel... ?
好戏开演了
Ooh, showtime.
在公♥司♥累了一整天吧 邓利维太太？
Rough day at the office, Mrs. Dunleavy?
把那身套装脱了会舒服很多的
You'll feel better once you get out of those work clothes.
然后再换上一件短小的T恤
(CHUCKLES) And into some sweats.
(CHUCKLES)
Ah...
多希望你让我来按♥摩♥那双脚啊！
Oh. I wish you'd let me rub those feet.
当然 我不会用手的
Of course, I wouldn't use my hands.
(WHEEZING)
Oh.
维多利亚开始和我分享秘密了
I think Victoria just told me her secret.
Oh.
(IMITATES CYMBALS CRASHING)
你是在挑逗我吗 亲爱的？
Oh, my, deedly dee.
Are those things for me?
(SQUEALS SOFTLY)
Oh.
-妈 -进来吧
BOY: Mom. Coming in.
斯科蒂·邓利维？
Oh. Scottie Dunleavy?
真会挑时间！
What unfortunate timing.
快出去 你不知道你来错时间了吗？
Get out.
Don't you know this is naughty time?
我得想个办法
(TELEPHONE RINGS) I'll get it.
喂 斯科蒂。你为什么不做个好孩子
HelloHello, Scottie.
乖乖到楼下去 让你妈妈休息一下！
Say, why don't you be a good little boy,
go downstairs, let your mother get comfy, all right?
你是谁
Who is this?
我是一只非常想看你妈妈的大鸟
This is a big bird who wants to see the rest of Mommy.
(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)
(GASPS)
Oh, oh.
天那！斯科蒂 咱们的树上是不是有个人？
Oh, my God, Scottie. Is that a man up our tree?
不！不！ 快告诉她我是一只大鸟！
No, no. Tell her it's a bird. It's just a big bird.
(MIMICKING BIRD CLUCKING)
Ah! Ooh!
(GRUNTS)
(YELLING)
(GROANING)
嘿 兄弟 欢迎你！
Hey, pal, welcome.
欢迎？我在哪儿？
Welcome to whatWhere am I?
你不就是那个在树上扮大鸟
(MAN GRUNTS)
Aren't you that horny guy who was pretending to be a big bird?
想偷♥窥♥那位漂亮女士的色狼吗？
Checking out that beautiful mom?
没错！
(MAN GRUNTS)
那么 现在你有机会见识一下 真正的大鸟是什么样子了！
Yes, I am.
Now you're gonna see what a big horny bird actually looks like...
在地狱里！
In Hell!
(CAWING)
Oh! Ah!
(LAUGHING)
(BIRD GRUNTING)
No! No! No! No! (LAUGHING)
报应来了！
I deserve this! I deserve this!
Ooh! Ooh!
Ooh! Ooh!
(BIRD SCREECHES)
(THUNDER CRASHING)
(METAL MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)
-（作敲门声） -你好 吉米
Knock, knock.
Hey, Jimmy.
-你在干什么 尼克？ -只是制♥造♥噪音罢了
What are you doing, Nicky?
你父亲要你们兄弟去大殿见他
I'm just jammin'.
Your father wants to see you and your brothers down in the throne room.
他不是打算今天退休吧？
He's not retiring today, is he?
他要向你和卡修斯 艾德里安宣布
He just wants to talk to you and Cassius and Adrian
未来的1万年 谁将是地狱的新主人
about who's gonna rule Hell for the next 10,000 years.
那叫我去干什么呢？ 他不会挑我的
Well, what do I need to go for?
He's not gonna pick me.
可我却认为 你才会是一个称职的魔王
(LAUGHS) I happen to think you'd make a great devil.
但是我对那些惩罚、折磨人之类的东西 完全没兴趣
No, I'm not into evil and torture and all that stuff.
况且 地狱的主人还应该相貌出众
Plus, the Prince of Darkness
should have sort of a distinguished look to him,
面对现实吧 我可不是乔治·克鲁尼（影星名）
and let's face facts, I'm no George Clooney.
你长的并不难看 尼克
(WHEEZING LAUGH)
You know, you're not a bad-looking guy, Nicky.
你看那幅画像
Look at you in that picture.
我以前说话也很正常
Yeah, I used to talk normal, too,
在卡修斯用铲子打歪我的脸之前
but that was before my brother Cassius
hit me in the face with a shovel.
这才是现在的我 我认命了
That's me now, and I accept it.
你两个哥哥是我见过的最讨厌的家伙
Well, your brothers are two of the sickest guys I have ever seen.
不知为什么！你却不同 完全没干过一件坏事
For some reason, you're not.
It's nothin' to be ashamed of.
他们的母亲是火龙 而我妈却是山羊
Well, their mothers were fire dragons
我怎么可能斗得过他们？
and my mother was a goat,
so how am I gonna compete with that?
你母亲不是山羊 那是他们逗你玩的
Your mother was not a goat.
Your brothers are just playing with you.
如果那两个疯子中随便哪一个 被选为继承人 那我就死定了！
Either way, if one of those psychos gets picked, I'm doomed.
艾德里安 我听说他终于打算退休了
CASSIUS: I knew it, Adrian. He's finally retiring.
卡修斯 我等这一天已经等了1万年了！
Cassius, I've been waiting on this day for 10,000 years.
如果老鬼让我接管地狱的话
Whew.
我会把惩罚时间变成24小时 永不停止！
If the old man picks me to take over Hell,
I'm gonna keep torture going 24-7.
No breaks.
哇 我的妈！
MAN: Whoa, Mama! Ooh.
你射中眼珠了！哈哈！
ADRIAN: You got him right in the eye.
嘿！爸爸的小乖乖今天好么？
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Hey. Oh.
CASSIUS: How's Daddy's little girl doing today?
噢 我没看见你们 什么事？
Oh, I didn't see you guys over there. What's up?
歪脸 想比比思想控制吗？
(SNAPPING FINGERS) Hey, shovel face, you wanna mind-wrestle?
不了 我正
Actually, nah, I'm all right.
我正打算去宝座那儿散散心
I was thinking of chiling out by the throne for a little bit.
我才不管你愿不愿意 我要控制你！
CASSIUS: I'm gonna mind-wrestle you whether you like it or not.
别说我没提醒你 我可厉害着呢！
NICKY: Well, I have to warn you,
I'm getting pretty good at it.
是吗 那一定不怕这个了？
CASSIUS: Then I guess I can't make you do this. (GROANS)
啊 轻点！ 我投降 你赢了！
NICKY: Okay. Mercy. You win. I give. Game over...
你们在干什么呢？
What are you boys doing(NICKY GROANING)
没什么 练习打打沙袋而已
Nothing, Dad, just hitting the old punching bags.
卡修斯
Cassius, didn't I tell you to stay out of your brother's mind?
不是说了不许控制你的弟弟么？
我给忘了
I forgot.
这个也许能让你加深记忆！
Maybe this will help you remember.
Ah! Ooh!
好了 大家都坐下吧
Now, everybody come sit down.
-老爸 -什么事？
Hey, Dad. Yes, son.
我知道你有很多事要操心
I... I know you got a lot on your mind,
我想告诉你我已经写完了 那首重金属怪兽！
but I almost finished that Monsters of Metal compilation tape.
我相信它一定会走红的！
I really think it's turning into a masterpiece.
好的 孩子 过两天咱们一起欣赏
Okay, kid. We'll listen to it later.
太好了！
Thanks, thanks.
一扇窗户
Oh, a window.
你好 魔王先生 你的角真不错！
Hello, Mr. Devil, I like your cape.
(WHEEZING LAUGH)
(SQUAWKING) (SQUEALING)
(PEEPER GRUNTING)
我活该！
I deserve this!
孩子们 你们都知道
Fellas, this, as some of you might know,
今年是我统治地狱的第1万年
is my 10,000th year as Prince of Darkness,
现在到了讨论继承人的时候
so I think the time has come to discuss who will succeed me.
-打搅一下 -什么事 吉米？
Uh, knock, knock.
别忘了
Yes, Jimmy?
Don't forget.
下午4点 是希♥特♥勒♥享受菠萝的时间！
You're shoving a pineapple up Hitler's ass at 4:00 p.m.
这将是一个困难的决定
This was a very difficult decision,
因为我有三个出色的儿子
because I have three wonderful sons.
艾德里安 非常聪明 冷酷无情
I mean, Adrian, so smart, so ruthless.
装出来的！
Wears makeup.
卡修斯 非常健壮和坚强
And Cassius,