I am Andy...
and I would like to thank you for coming to my movie.
I wish it was better, you know,
but... it is so stupid.
It's terrible. I-I do not even like it.
All of the most important things in my life...
a-a-are changed around and mixed up...
uh, dramatic purposes.
I decided to cut out...
all of the baloney.
Now the movie is much shorter.
this... is the end of the movie.
Thank you very much.
I am not fooling.
Wow. You're still here.
I hope you're not upset.
I did that to get rid of those folks who just... wouldn't understand me...
and don't even want to try.
Actually, the movie is really great.
It's just filled with colorful characters,
like the one I just did and the one I'm doing now.
Our story begins...
back in Great Neck, Long Island.
This is our house.
And that's my father's old car.
That's my father.
That's my little brother Michael.
That's my little sister Carol.
- 那是我妈妈 - 贾尼斯?
- And that's my mom. - Janice?
Andy's up in his room?
Mr. Bear is saying that Mrs. Cat made his head fall off.
She saw it And it's not true.
Today's special guest, Mr. Bear.
- 怎么了，伯尔先生？ - 安迪？
- What's up, Mr. Bear? - Andy?
Son, this has got to stop.
Our house is not a television station.
There's not a camera in that wall.
I mean, this is not healthy. You should be outside playing sports.
But I have my own sports show.
Andy, you know that's not what I meant.
Look, I'm gonna put my foot down. No more playing alone.
- 要表演，你必须有观众 - 他们在那边
- You want to perform, you have got to have an audience. - They're right there!
That is not an audience. That is plaster.
An audience is made of people, people who live and breathe.
Andy Kaufman and Howdy Doody present...
"The Animal Song"!
I'm gonna say the animal, and then you tell me what it says.
- 好吗？ - 好的
- Okay? - Okay.
- Oh, the cow goes... - Moo.
- And the cat goes... - Meow! Meow!
And the bird goes...
- Tweet, tweet. - Tweet, tweet!
And the lion goes...
- And the dog goes - Ruff.
- And the cat goes - Meow.
- And the bird goes - Tweet.
- And the pig goes - Oink.
And that's the way it goes
- 安迪·考夫曼的喜剧风格 - 谢谢
- The comedy stylings of Andy Kaufman. - Thank you.
So, Mr. Besserman, same spot tomorrow?
I don't know, Andy. I think I have to let you go.
You're firing me?
You... You don't even pay me.
I don't want to seem insulting, but your act is like amateur hour.
You're doing sing alongs for six-year-olds and puppets that aren't funny.
- 放录音带? - 但那完全是原唱
- Playing records? - But it's totally original.
No one's ever done it. I'm not like everyone else.
Well, everybody else gets this place cookin'.
I thought it was cooking. There was a man over here that was really upset.
He stormed out, and a lot of other people left in the middle of your act.
- 我的酒席卖♥♥不出去… - 这不是喜剧 也不是艺术
- I can't sell booze... - It's not about comedy. It's not about art.
- 是有关我的酒席 - 当你唱歌♥时,我卖♥♥不出去酒席
- It's about booze. - I can't sell booze when you're singing "Pop Goes the Weasel."
- 就是这个问题 - 我在这做生意
- That's all that matters. - I'm running a business here.
It's show business. Show business. Show business.
Without the business, there's no show.
- 没场地给你演出 - 你要我怎么做?
- There's no show for you. - Wh-What do you want me to do?
- “请带走我的妻子”? - 至少要有个玩笑 试试开一些玩笑
- "Take my wife, please"? - At least it's a joke. Try some jokes.
Like, "Why did the Siamese twins go to England?"
I don't know. Why did they go to England?
So the other one could drive.
But why doesn't the other one just learn how to drive?
Whew. Maybe that one isn't for you.
But do jokes about the traffic, do impressions,
maybe some blue material.
Thank you very much. Goodnight!
Thank you very much.
One thing I do not like...
is too much traffic.
Tonight I had to come...
A-And the freeway,
it-it was so much traffic.
I-It took me an hour and a half to get here.
talking about the terrible things...
My wife... take my wife. Please take her.
No. I am only fooling.
I... I-I love my wife,
but she don't know how to cook.
Her cooking is so bad.
- 很糟糕 - 不
- It's terrible. - No.
Now I-I would like to...
I would like to do for you...
I would like to start...
with the... the Jimmy Carter.
The president of the United States.
Hello, I am Jimmy Carter,
the president of the United States.
Thank you very much.
And now I would like to do for you...
the Elvis Presley.
Well, it's one for the money two for the show three to get ready
Now go, cat, go Now, don't you
Step on my blue suede shoes
Well, you can do anything but lay off of my blue suede shoes
Let's go, cat!
Budd, what's the story with this guy?
I think he's from Lithuania.
Oh, blue, blue blue suede shoes
Baby, blue, blue blue suede shoes, honey
Blue, blue blue suede shoes, baby
Blue, blue blue suede shoes
You can do anything but lay off of my blue suede shoes
Oh, well we were dancin'
We were dancin'
To the jailhouse rock
|警探奈特3：独立（2023） Detective Knight: Independence|
|鬼玩人崛起（2023） Evil Dead Rise|
|盟约（2023） The Covenant|
|母亲本色（2023） The Mother|
|龙与地下城：侠盗荣耀（2023） Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves|
|疾速追杀4（2023） John Wick: Chapter 4|
|超级马力欧兄弟大电影（2023） The Super Mario Bros. Movie|
|彼得·潘与温蒂（2023） Peter Pan & Wendy|