[speaking Latin]
你好！
[girl] Hello!
英语，请。
English, please.
我被白♥痴♥包围。
I'm surrounded by idiots.
那个女孩很多。
That girl is a lot.
[loud thud]
[gasps]
[rattling]
[crackling]
我告诉过你，帕格斯利。 是推，不是拉。
I told you, Pugsley. It's push, not pull.
大家好！
Hello, everyone!
我无法相信父母让他们的孩子就这样出去。
I can't believe
parents let their children go out like this.
他们都是那么的干净，闪亮。
They're all so clean,
shiny.
哦，亲爱的，也不是一无是处。
[Gomez] Oh, it's not all bad, my dear.
至少他们让孩子们在比赛中互相较量
At least they pit the children against each other
in a competition
这将不可避免地永远给失败者留下疤痕。
that will inevitably scar the losers forever.
看！ 普罗米修斯的礼物！
Behold! The gift of Prometheus!
[both cheering]
啊。
Ugh.
让开，孩子。
Step aside, kid.
我会告诉你它是如何完成的。
I'll show you how it's done.
[grunts]
- 什么？
-[chuckles] -[girl] What?
--
-[continues grunting] -[girls gasp]
女士们先生们。
[Wednesday] Ladies and gentlemen.
好啦好啦。 接下来是星期三。
Come on, come on. Wednesday is next.
你有没有发现自己对最亲近的人不满？
Have you ever found yourself discontented
by those closest to you?
你是否因为他们无法满足简单的要求而烦恼？
Are you irked by their inability
to heed simple requests?
例如，“请不要来我的科学博览会。”
Such as, "Please don't come to my science fair."
她在谈论我们。
[chuckling] She's talking about us.
你有没有希望你能接受他们不受欢迎的品质
[Wednesday] Do you ever wish you could take
their undesirable qualities
并永远消灭它们？
and eliminate them forever?
可以办到。
It can be done.
认识我的 Fester 叔叔。
Meet my Uncle Fester.
你好！
Hello!
--
-[screams] -[man gags]
- 那是我的兄弟。
-[body thuds] -That's my brother.
观察。
Observe.
唔。
Hmm.
-毫米。
[sniffs]
-[rattles] -Mm.
[grunts]
[chomping]
- 来吧！
[burps]
翻胃不是吗？
-[all groan] -[woman] Come on!
Stomach-turning, isn't it?
然而，形成鲜明对比的是，
In stark contrast, however,
是苏格拉底。
is Socrates.
噢。
[all] Aw.
嘘！ 你要吃那个？
Psst! Are you gonna eat that?
这让我思考了一个问题，如果可以提取个性特征呢？
This led me to ponder the question,
what if personality traits could be extracted
并植入生物之间？
and implanted between creatures?
[liquid sloshes]
喝光。
Bottoms up.
Mmm. [smacks lips]
哦。
Ooh.
[bell dings]
[crowd applauding]
好极了！ 好的！ 谢谢谢谢。
[chuckles] Yay! All right! Thank you, thank you.
发生了什么？
What happened?
世界历史上有没有一个人
[crunching]
[laughs] Is there a single person
in the history of the world
谁的突破性更强？
who's made more of a breakthrough?
她是一个可怕的婴儿。
She's an enfant terrible.
跟重点很可怕。
With the focus on terrible.
Cara mia，你知道法语对我做了什么。
Cara mia,you know what French does to me.
而现在，你们一直在等待的那一刻。
[announcer] And now, the moment you've all been waiting for.
在这里颁发今年的奖项
Here to present the awards at this year's
奇才基金会全国科学博览会，是辉煌的创新者
Strange Foundation National Science Fair,
is the brilliant innovator
以及与我们基金会同名的 Cyrus Strange。
and the namesake of our foundation, Cyrus Strange.
[laughing]
大家好。
Hello, everyone.
哦！
Oh!
我很荣幸来到这里。
[glitches slightly] I'm so honored to be here.
但是，好吧，我实际上并不在那里，我...
But, well, I'm not actually there, I'm...
--
-here![laughing] -[people gasp]
好吧，你明白了。
Well, you get it.
欢迎来到今年的科学博览会。
Welcome to this year's science fair.
我很高兴向我们面前的这群才华横溢的人致敬。
I'm excited to honor this group
of brilliant minds we have before us.
让我们继续。
[glitching] Let's proceed.
最终获胜者是...
[announcer] And the winner is...
-祝你好运。 --
-Good luck. -[chuckles]
哦。 你是认真的。
Oh. You were serious.
参加过的每一个人。
[announcer] Everyone who participated.
-什么？ - 没错。
-What? -[announcer] That's right.
今年，我们正在接受一种新的理念。
This year, we are embracing a new philosophy.
只是尝试会让你成为赢家。
Just trying makes you a winner.
但如果没有人是输家，你怎么能成为赢家呢？
But how can you be a winner if no one is a loser?
你们每个人都是特别的。
[announcer] Every single one of you is special.
不同意。
Disagree.
他并不特别。
He's not special.
你看到他的火山了吗？
Did you see his volcano?
那是什么？ 小苏打？
What was that? Baking soda?
这是三年级吗？
Is this the third grade?
不算数！
It does not count!
你难道还没有明白么？
Don't you get it?
-啊。 -我明白了，星期三。
-Ugh. -I get it, Wednesday.
我看了你的介绍。
I watched your presentation.
那真是太棒了。
It was brilliant.
是的，我知道这一点。
Yes, I'm aware of that.
我在你身上看到了一种志同道合的精神。
I see a kindred spirit in you.
嗯嗯。 伟大心灵的气质。
Mm-hmm. The makings of a great mind.
如果你想和我分享你的研究，
If you'd like to share your research with me,
我可以在我的实验室进一步开♥发♥它。
I could develop it further in my lab.
想象一下，如果我们将您的数据与适当的资源结合起来会发生什么？
Imagine what would happen
if we combined your data with the proper resources?
唉，我不能分享任何这些。
Alas, I can't share any of that.
这是一个家庭秘密。
It's a family secret.
我知道了。
I see.
你是哪个家庭的？
And which family is yours?
洞里着火！
Fire in the hole!
Welcome to the Madhouse" playing]
哦。
? Welcome to the madhouse ?
Oh.
很热，嗯，女士们？
[screaming]
Pretty hot, eh, ladies?
干得好，罗密欧。
Nice job, Romeo.
? Welcome to the madhouse ?
更多
? Where they all come back For more ?
? Welcome to the madhouse ?
莫蒂西亚，我的王后，你激怒了我。
Morticia, my queen,
you inflame me.
我感到液体岩浆在我的身体上拍打。
I feel liquid magma lapping at my body.
你着火了，亲爱的。
You're on fire, dear.
哈！ 我也是！
Ha! So I am!
[dance-pop music resumes]
节哀顺变。
My condolences.
[Fester laughing]
? Welcome to the madhouse ?
[theme music playing]
[thunder crashing]
伟大的思想家需要障碍才能发挥作用。
Great thinkers need obstacles to function.
然而，每一个毫无意义的奖杯，
Yet, with every meaningless trophy,
我变得越来越不起眼了。
I become more and more unremarkable.
每一次拥抱，都会侵蚀更多的脑细胞。
And with every hug, more brain cells erode.
但是，就像灰烬中的凤♥凰♥，
But, like the phoenix from the ashes,
我将克服这次挫折。
I shall rise above this setback.
我们将一起回头，苏格拉底。
Together, we shall turn heads, Socrates.
从帕格斯利开始。
Starting with Pugsley.
--