这是一个真实的故事 艺术家路易斯·韦恩把这只猫变成了他自己的猫。
THIS IS A TRUE STORY The artist Louis Wain made the cat his own.
他创造了一个猫的风格，一个猫的社会，一个猫的世界。
He invented a cat style, a cat society, a whole cat world.
那些长得和生活方式都不像路易斯·韦恩的猫的人是为自己感到羞耻的。
Cats that do not look and live like Louis Wain cats are ashamed of themselves.
但这不是最重要的。
But that is not what is important.
重要的是路易斯·韦恩把他的一生都奉献给了让我们的生活更快乐，更狡猾。
What is important is that Louis Wain devoted his life to making all our lives happier, and cattier.
在这样做的过程中，他无疑提高了社会中的地位，并使我们的世界变得更好。
In doing so, he undoubtedly raised up the cat in society and he changed our world for the better.
除了奇怪的社会偏见和一切都臭得像狗屎的事实，维多利亚时代的英国也是一个创新和科学发现的地方。
Aside from its bizarre social prejudices and the fact that everything stank of shit, Victorian England was also a land of innovation and scientific discovery.
世界上许多最聪明的人都在深入研究电的本质，以便将其电力用于实际用途。
Many of the world’s finest minds were digging deep into the nature of electricity, to harness its power for practical use.
但对年轻的路易斯·韦恩来说，电是另一种东西，一种如此不同寻常、如此奇怪的东西，以至于人类的大脑甚至无法理解它。
But for the young Louis Wain, electricity was something else, something so extraordinary and strange that the human mind was barely able even to comprehend it.
一种神秘的、自然的力量，他偶尔能感觉到它在以太中闪烁，它是解开生命中最深奥、最惊心动魄的秘密的钥匙。
A mysterious, elemental force that on occasion, he could feel shimmering in the ether, and the key to all of life’s most profound and alarming secrets.
路易斯·韦恩的电气生活
THE ELECTRICAL LIFE OF LOUIS WAIN
请管好你的动物。
1881 ANDOVER ANNUAL COUNTRY SHOW Please keep your animals under control.
对不起。嗯,谢谢…谢谢你！
Sorry. Uh, thank... thank you.
谢谢你！
Thank you.
哦。你是插图画家吗?
Ooh. Are you an illustrator?
是的，我为钱画插图。
Yes, I do illustrations for money.
我目前也在研究几个专利。
I’m also working on several patents at the moment.
我想你是刚从乡村演出回来吧?
You’ve just come from the country show, I take it?
嗯。
Mmm.
你很泥泞。你是不是跟人打架了?
You’re very muddy. Did you get into a fight or something?
不，我被一头一吨♥半的公牛袭击了。
Uh, no, I was attacked by a one-and-a-half-ton bull.
哦。那是你，是吗?
Oh. That was you, was it?
是的，我听说了。
Yes, I heard about that.
画一幅克利奥帕特拉的画要多少钱?
How much would you charge for a drawing of Cleopatra?
哦,……我不怎么画人。
Oh, I... I don’t really draw people.
哦,不,对不起。克利奥帕特拉。
Oh, no, sorry. Cleopatra.
嗯，嗯，嗯，嗯。
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm.
啊。你可以免费享用。
Ah. Well, that you can have for free.
这是很善良的。
That’s awfully kind.
我姐姐通常带她去，但她身体不好，所以今天就由我来了。
My sister usually takes her, but she’s unwell, so it’s up to me today.
我想这会让她高兴起来。
Thought it might cheer her up.
顺便说一下，丹·莱德。
Dan Rider, by the way.
你好。
Hello.
是的。好。
Yes. Good.
找到他的弱点，但不要让他看到你的弱点。
Find his weak spot, but just don’t show him yours.
移♥动♥。思考。
Move. Think.
好了，韦恩，够了。
All right, Wain, that’s enough.
你开会要迟到了，你这个笨蛋。
You’ll be late for your meetings, you daft apeth.
请允许我再试一次，长官。
Just allow me to have one more crack at him, sir.
本迪戈洗牌。来吧。我们到了。
The Bendigo Shuffle. Come on. Here we are.
从左到右，或者从右到左。哈哈哈。
Left to right, or right to left. Ha, ha, ha, ha.
我很抱歉。对不起。
I’m so sorry. Sorry.
我听说你在乡村演出时的愚蠢行为。
I received word of your foolish antics at the country show.
很多人抱怨说，有个奇怪的家伙很危险，他若无其事地爬进了长角兽的围栏，站在离整个现场最大、最凶猛的动物不到三码远的地方。
A whole raft of complaints about an odd fellow being dangerous, climbing nonchalantly into the Longhorn’s pen and standing not three yards from the largest and most ferocious animal on the entire site.
我想仔细看看他，可是，嗯，他没有很好的幽默感，这么说吧。-谢谢。
I wanted to get a closer look at him, and, well, he didn’t have a very good sense of humour, -put it that way. -Thank you.
他们的幽默感并不出名，-他们真的是公牛吗?——不是吗?
Not renowned for their sense of humour, -are they, really, bulls? -Aren’t they?
每次我委托你给我们讲故事的时候，你总想制♥造♥一些可笑的混乱。
Every time I commission you to illustrate a story for us, you manage to create some kind of ridiculous chaos.
你为什么朝公牛扔花生?
Why were you throwing peanuts at a bull?
我听说他们喜欢吃花生，花生能让他们平静下来，但不管用。
I heard they like peanuts and that it calms them down, but it didn’t work.
这些秀牛的问题是，太自负了。
The trouble with these show cows, huge egos.
你会画画真是太好了，韦恩先生，不然我们早就分道扬镳了。
It’s a good job you can draw, Mr Wain, or we would have parted ways some time ago.
别以为我没注意到你的脸色。
And don’t think I haven’t noticed the state of your visage.
这不是牛咬的，威廉爵士。
Oh, this wasn’t from the bull, Sir William.
我刚和伟大的杰姆·梅斯一起上完拳击课。
I’ve just come from a boxing class with the great Jem Mace.
拳击吗?-嗯。
-Boxing? -Mmm.
你什么时候画的?
So when did you draw this?
在火车上了。从内存中。
On the train. From memory.
——吗?-嗯。
-All of them? -Mm-hmm.
你的工作速度到底有多快?
So, how fast do you work exactly?
哦。我给你看看……嗯。
Oh. I’ll just show you... Hmm.
我实话跟你说吧，韦恩先生。
I’ll be frank with you, Mr Wain.
我们速度最快、最多产的插画师之一被竞争对手挖走了。
One of our speediest and most prolific staff illustrators has been poached by a rival publication.
你觉得你能行吗?
Do you think you’d be up to it?
嗯,是的,很明显。我的意思是……我不觉得这工作很累，威廉爵士。
Well, yes, obviously. I mean... Well, I don’t find this work, um, very taxing, Sir William.
我这样做是为了支付账单和供养和我一起生活的五个饥饿而早熟的姐妹。
I do it to pay the bills and to provide for the five hungry and precocious sisters that I live with.
当然，直到他们结婚。
Until they get married, of course.
事实上，我觉得整件事很不方便。
As a matter of fact, I find the whole thing rather inconvenient.
我想你不太了解我。
I don’t think you quite understand me.
基于你工作的速度和质量，以及你能控制自己更愚蠢的行为的条件，我将在《伦敦新闻画报》(Illustrated London News)为你提供一个永久职位。
On the basis of the speed and quality of your work, and with the proviso that you can curb your more imbecilic behaviour, I am offering you a permanent position on the staff of the Illustrated London News.
你真是太好了，但我不能。
That’s very kind of you, but I can’t.
我还有几项电子专利要完成，事实上，我要去见著名作曲家亨利·伍德，已经有点晚了。
I have several electric patents to finish and, in fact, I’m rather late for a meeting with Henry Wood, the celebrated composer.
——亨利木头吗?-我写了一部歌♥剧。
-Henry Wood? -I’ve written an opera.
这不是歌♥剧，韦恩先生。
This is not an opera, Mr Wain.
按传统标准，它几乎算不上是音乐。
By conventional standards, it barely qualifies as music.
这不是一个情节。
And this is not a plot.
这只是你的一些想法。
It’s just some of your thoughts.
我赞赏你的热情，但你必须先掌握基本的和声。
I applaud your enthusiasm, but you have to master the basics of harmony first.
我发明了自己的和声。
I-- I’ve invented my own harmonies.
是的，这可能是问题的一部分。
Yes, and that could be part of the problem.
如果能安慰你的话，我觉得你在封面上画的画很迷人。
If it’s any consolation, I thought the little drawing you did on the cover sheet was rather charming.
在他父亲去世后的18个月里，路易斯名义上成了一家之主。
In the 18 months since his father had died, Louis had nominally become the head of the household.
他完全不适合承担这些新的世俗责任，但作为韦恩六兄弟中最年长、最雄壮的一个，这不幸成了他的责任。
He was entirely unfit to shoulder these new worldly responsibilities, but as the oldest and malest of the six Wain siblings, it had unfortunately become his duty.
——晚上,路易。-是的，晚上好。
- Evening, Louis. - Yes, good evening.
——晚上!——路易!
- Evening! - Louis!
是的,你好。你好吗?
Yes, hello. How are you?
-你回来了吗?-是的，我回来了，约瑟芬
- Ooh, are you back? - Yes, I’m back, Josephine.
我当然回来了。你什么意思?
Of course I’m back. What do you mean?
路易，你在汉普郡遇到过一个有钱的姑娘吗?
Louis, did you meet an eligible young lady of means in Hampshire?
不，我没有，但我确实遇到了一些山羊，一些鹅和一只脾气很坏的公牛。
No, I did not, but I did meet some goats, some geese and a rather cantankerous bull.
这是没有用的。
That’s no use.
你不能和山羊结婚，对吧?
You can’t marry a goat, can you?
更合适的人选应该是他深爱的妹妹卡洛琳(Caroline)，她被他们古怪不羁的母亲弄得灰心丧气，在很小的时候就升任为家庭的女家长。
Far better suited would have been his beloved sister Caroline, who had become frustrated by their rather whimsical and bohemian mother and stepped up at a young age to take charge as the family’s matriarch.
你又打拳击了吗?
Have you been boxing again?
我告诉过你，卡洛琳，他几乎不收我钱因为我给了他那张本迪戈的画。
I told you, Caroline, he barely charges me because I gave him that drawing of Bendigo.
路易斯，晚饭后你愿意和我一起练习四对舞吗?
Louis, will you practise quadrilles with me after supper?
啊，你终于来杀我了。
Ah, you’ve come to murder me at last.
-费利西，快保护我。警告!
-Felicie, defend me, quick. -En garde!
不!我们得谈谈财务问题。
Don’t! We have to talk about finances.
你和威廉爵士的会面怎么样?他满意吗?
How was your meeting with Sir William? Is he satisfied?
如果说威廉爵士有什么不同的话，那就是过于满足了。
Sir William is, if anything, overly satisfied.
他给我提供了插图画家的职位。
He has offered me the position of staff illustrator.
现在，我真的要回我的房♥间了。
Now, I really do need to get to my room.
哦,我的天哪!你是说插画师吗?
Oh, my goodness! Did you say staff illustrator?
是的，插图画家，但我没有接受。
Yes, staff illustrator, but I did not accept it.
请再说一遍好吗?为什么?
I beg your very pardon? Why?
我们的开销已经是你们工资的两倍了，我们还雇了一个家庭教师。
We already have twice as many outgoings as you have wages and we’ve just hired a governess.
我告诉过你把那个房♥间留给我的第二项目。
I told you to keep that room for my secondary projects.
此外，我可以教他们。我对所有相关的科目都很精通。
Besides, I can teach them. I’m perfectly qualified in all the relevant subjects.
不,你不能!你得出去工作!
No, you can’t! You need to be out there working!
完全正确。你得出去工作，路易。
Quite right. You need to be out there working, Louis.
家庭教师!恐怕我们目前不需要你的服务。-路易斯!
Governess! I’m afraid we do not require -your services at present. -Louis!
不便之处，敬请原谅。
Sorry for any inconvenience.
家庭教师?家庭教师?
Governess? Governess?
不要进那个女人的房♥间。
Do not go into that woman’s room.
家庭教师?
Governess?
你在哪里?
Where are you?
她不在里面吗?
Is she not in there?
……你在哪里?
Where... Where are you?
嘘。
Shh.
家庭教师?里面是你吗?
Governess? Is that you in there?
理查森小姐，如果你在衣橱里，我们会很不高兴的。
Miss Richardson, if you are in the wardrobe, we shall be most displeased.
没必要害怕，但我得把门打开。
There’s no need to be frightened, but I am going to have to open the door.
哦，看在上帝的份上。
Oh, for fuck’s sake.
数到三之后。
After a count of three.
三,二,一。
Three, two, one.
对,是的。不，我知道怎么…我是说，就第一印象而言…你好，韦恩先生。
Right, yes. No, I can see how... I mean, as first impressions go... How do you do, Mr Wain?
理查森小姐，从衣柜里出来。
Miss Richardson, get out of the wardrobe.
是的,当然。你想知道我的名字吗，韦恩先生?
Yes, of course. Would you like to know my name, Mr Wain?
所以你不用一直喊"家庭教师"
So you don’t have to keep shouting "governess."
我想你妈妈在打盹。太不体贴了，是吧?
I believe your mother’s napping. Not very thoughtful, is it?