有个关于
Here's a little story I'd like to tell...
三个麻吉首次共度 圣诞节的小故事
...about three best friends and their first Noel.
故事始于2001年的圣诞夜
It begins right before Christmas 2001...
有位名叫伊森的年轻人成为孤儿
...when a young man named Ethan became an orphan.
他的父母不幸双亡
His mama and papa both tragically gone...
对他而言 圣诞节就此成了黑白
...it seemed for him Christmas had sung its swan song.
当他在圣诞夜里独坐
As he sat alone on Christmas Eve...
他朋友前来强迫他离开
...his friends came over and forced him to leave.
为了让伊森走出丧亲之痛
They had to get Ethan out of his funk...
他们一起去酒吧，喝得烂醉
...so they went to a bar and they got his ass drunk.
在悲伤与泪水过后 终于情况好转，于是他们说
With tears and with sadness they started to mend. Then they said:
不能再哭了 这悲惨的气氛就此结束
No more crying. This sad shit must end.
圣诞节本来是家人团聚 现在变成麻吉聚首的时刻
Christmas was about family, but now it's about friends.
因此有了新的传统
Thus began a new tradition.
圣诞节成了朋友瞎混的时间 找乐子变成唯一的目的
The friends hung on Christmas and fun was their mission.
谁是圣诞节最坏的混♥蛋♥？
Who's the baddest motherfucker on Christmas day?
（全世界最小的弟弟）
- Get in there. - Aww!
原来你知道
You knew.
- 惊喜吧！ - 这是什么？
- Boom! - What is it?
这东西一次 可放进一百首歌♥曲
That shit holds a hundred songs at one time.
我下载了大卫马修的新歌♥
I got the new Dave Matthews downloaded.
太棒了，瑞奇马丁
- Oh, yeah. Ricky Martin. - Oh!
那家伙超杀
That guy slays ass.
他们一起狂欢 什么事情都敢做
They chilled with each other, did all sorts of stuff.
他们狂喝瞎搞
They drank many drinks, they fucked shit up.
点燃他的小♥弟♥弟♥
Light his dick.
Unh!
但在2008年决定性的夜晚
Then one fateful night, 2008...
他们发现圣诞节原来不仅如此
...they realized that Christmas can be even more great.
在圣诞夜里，他们见到奇景
That eve at the bar, they saw quite a sight.
遇上寻欢的一群人 准备疯狂一夜
Fellow seekers ofjoy having one crazy night.
其中有个女人艳惊全场
And there was a woman, so pretty to all.
于是他们鼓起勇气开口
They worked up the courage, proceeded to call.
- 冒昧打搅 - 伊森开口而她惊而转身
- Excuse me. - Ethan said. And she turned with a fright.
你们之前在哪里狂欢？
Where were you guys partying earlier tonight?
一个棒到无法用言语形容的地方
At a place so great words cannot describe...
有喝不完的酒
...with so many drinks for one to imbibe.
嗑到挂的药
With so many drugs, I can't believe I survived.
真的假的…
What the fuck...
伊森开口问
Ethan asked.
是什么派对来着？
...is this party called?
怎么，你没听过？
Why, you haven't heard?
胡桃钳派对
It's the Nutcracker Ball.
他们到处打听但没人听过
They asked all around, but to no avail.
这么屌♥的派对在哪？
Where was this great party, this whitest of whales?
年复一年，他们再接再厉
And though year upon year they tried and they failed...
从没喊累、从没放弃
...they never did tire, they never did bail.
但时间一久 玩心逐渐消融
But over time, the fun did wane.
一位成家、一位成名
One friend had a family, the other had fame.
经过这些年 他的伙伴都长大了
As the years passed, his boys, they grew up.
但似乎我们的小伊森 仍旧不上不下
But it seems our boy Ethan is just a little bit stuck.
（今年圣诞夜）
来点吗，老兄？ 不需要？
What's up, buddy? No?
好吧，有人要吃吗？
All right. You guys want any of this?
- 不，谢谢你 - 好的
- No, thank you. - Cool.
继续，来吧
Keep it moving. There you go.
好的，很好
Yes, good.
不，等一下 你要干嘛？
Wait. No, no, no. What are you doing?
没有人要吃鲔鱼 所以我想…
No one was eating this tuna, so I thought...
小精灵，决定权不在你身上
No, no, no. You don't get to make those executive decisions, elf.
你几岁了？
How old are you?
- 33 - 33
- Thirty-three. - Thirty-three. Heh, heh.
33岁了还当小精灵
Thirty-three years old, and you're an elf.
但你连怎么当小精灵都不会
And you don't even know how to be an elf.
让我看看精灵的表情
Show me the elf face.
Uh...
要开心、热情洋溢
It's happy. It's eager.
外加古怪些
More whimsical.
再怪点、表情稍稍坚决点
Whimsy. Determined, though.
- 没错，就是这样 - 就是这样
- There you go! That's it! - That was it.
难怪你盘子里的东西 没有人拿
That's why you're coming back here with a full tray.
我调你去衣物间 这是你最后的机会
I'm gonna move you to coat check. This is your last chance.
我要你一直保持 小精灵的开心表情
And the whole time, I wanna see that elf face.
- 好 - 现在就开始
- Okay. - Starting now.
去
Go.
快去
Go.
这两件挂一起 等一下，还有号♥码
These two are together. No, gotta take the ticket.
嗨，您一个人吗？
Hi. Just you, sir?
太好了，这是您的号♥码 别搞丢了
Great. This is your ticket. Please try not to lose it.
这外套非常昂贵，请小心存放
This is a very expensive coat, so take care of it.
先生，没问题
Absolutely, sir.
拿去，号♥码 好，还有这个
Here, ticket. Okay, this one.
没错
Yeah.
太好了
Yeah. Great.
嗨，您好，圣诞快乐
Hi. Merry Christmas, sir.
♪ The cold wind is blowing And the streets are getting dark ♪
♪ I'm writing you a letter And I don't know where to start ♪
♪ The bells will be ringing St. John the Divine ♪
♪ I get a little lonely Every year around this time ♪
嘿，你在干嘛？
Hey, what are you doing?
没事
Huh? Nothing.
马上回来
I'm gonna be right back.
你上哪去？
Now, where are you going?
我生病了
I'm sick. Sick.
Whoa!
♪ I've gotta know ♪
♪ Nobody ought to be Alone on Christmas ♪
♪ Where do lonely hearts go? ♪
♪ Nobody ought to be Alone on Christmas ♪
♪ Nobody ought to be Alone on Christmas ♪
恭喜，你即将拥有你 此生中最棒的一个夜晚
You're about to have the best night of your life.
你会学到珍贵的经验 感受圣诞节的欢乐
You will learn valuable lessons, be filled with Christmas cheer...
甚至有机会赢得佳人
...and probably get laid.
晚上10点会通知派对的地点
We will release the location of our party at 10 p.m.
祝你圣诞快乐
Merry Christmas.
（蛋酒）
♪ Tell me, I gotta know ♪
♪ Nobody ought to be Alone on Christmas ♪
♪ Where do lonely hearts go? ♪
♪ Nobody ought to be Alone on Christmas ♪
♪ Nobody ought to be Alone on Christmas ♪
妈，我知道，很抱歉 我得留在这里努力工作
Yeah, I know, Ma. I'm sorry, but I have to stay here and work hard.
不然你认为我 这季的成绩怎么来的？
How you think I'm having such an amazing season?
我也爱你，圣诞节快乐
I love you too. Merry Christmas.
再见
Bye.
♪ Tell me, I gotta know ♪♪
各位好吗？
What's up, fellas? How's it going, man?
你好，宝贝，圣诞快乐
Good to see you, baby. Merry Christmas.
你要拍照？好吧，来拍
You wanna take a picture, man? Let's do it.
放着就好
Just leave it!
如果你不是基♥督♥徒 那你是什么？
If you're not Christian, what are you?
我是犹太人
I'm Jewish.
所以你才长得不一样吗？
Is that why you look different?
你刚说什么？再说一次
What was that? Come again.
你长得很古怪
You just look funny.
我长得古怪？
I look funny?
你们看过《TheShining》吗？
You ever see The Shining?
- 艾萨克？ - 是的！
- Isaac? - Yo!
你跟她们说什么？
What are you telling them?
我正在跟你可爱的女儿聊天
I'm just talking to your lovely daughters...
把她们当大人看
...as though they are adults.
就认知心里层面 如果把孩子当大人看
From a cognitive level, if you speak to kids like they're adults...
容易激发他们的好奇心 能打开孩子的视野
...it will make them more curious, it will open up their minds to more things.
- 他一定会是个好父亲 - 没错
- He's gonna be a great father. - Yeah.
真希望我有跟你一样美丽的女儿
I just hope we have kids as beautiful as you girls.
很抱歉
- Ow! - I'm sorry.
甜心，到厨房♥来帮妈妈的忙
Sweeties, just come help Mommy in the kitchen.
- 还好吗？要不要抱抱？ - 没关系
- Are you okay? You want a hug? - That's okay.
好的
Okay.
- 老天，我太糟糕了 - 你才不会
- Gosh, I am such a fucking piece of shit. - No, you're not at all.