Oh,damn it.
哦 该死
This thing is not designed for a human to pour coffee with.
这倒咖啡的玩意儿简直不是给人设计的
Go sit down,I'll bring your breakfast.
去坐下 我替你把早餐端来
It's a gag coffeepot. -It's okay.
这咖啡壶太差了 -不用操心
Here you go,sweetie.
给你 亲爱的
I was reading about this new sex scandal.
我在看这篇关于性丑闻的报道
So,last night was okay? It wasn't too quick?
昨晚还行吗 不会太快了点吧
It was nice. -Are you sure?
很不错 -真的吗
I've got so much on my mind... -It was nice.It always is.
我很在意这一点 -真的不错 向来都是
It always is? -Um-hmm.
一直都是？
It always is?
一直都是？
You want some melon?
你要点甜瓜吗
You're totally satisfied with our sex life?
你真的对我们的性生活感到满意吗
Yeah,I'm totally satisfied,honey.
是的 我非常满意 亲爱的
I'll get you some melon.
我给你拿点甜瓜
And there's nothing you would do different?
而且你不想有任何改变
No changes you would make
不想改变一下试着做点
Different?
特别的
Yeah...nothing you wanna try?
对 你一点也不想尝试吗
Try the melon...it's so good.
尝尝甜瓜 味道很不错
Nothing...
没有什么
you've always been curious about...?
让你一直感到好奇的？
No,I'm just completely happy.
不 我过得很开心
You are?
是吗
Try the melon,it's so good.
尝尝甜瓜吧 味道很好
Have you ever practiced lesbianism?
你有没有试过同性恋
No. -Other women don't excite you?
没有 -有没有让你感到兴奋的女人
No. -Have these ladies come on to you?
没有 -有没有女性向你要求过
Umm...if so,I didn't notice it.
这个 我没有注意过
Are you having lunch with me today?
你今天和我一起吃午饭吗
No,sorry,Didi,Marty's taking me to lunch.
不 抱歉 迪迪 今天马丁会带我去吃午饭
That's okay,I understand.
没关系 我能理解
If he cancels,though, I'm still available.
如果他取消的话 我们可以一起去
Your husband's taking you to lunch? That's sweet.
你丈夫带你去吃午饭 真是体贴
Yeah,he is sweet.
对 他很体贴
Hey,beautiful.
嘿 美女
Hey...
嘿
You hungry? -Ooh,I'm starved.
饿了吗 -噢 我快饿死了
Can we go someplace nice? -Anywhere you want.
去哪呢 -随你好了
Darn,you showed.
丹 你来啦
If you didn't show, I was gonna take her to lunch.
如果你不来 我就带她去吃午饭
Sorry to disappoint you,Didi, but I showed.
抱歉让你失望啦 迪迪 可我来了
Yes,you did,I'm not gonna hold it against you,though.
对 你来了 我不会搅了你的好事
Have a nice lunch with your sexy-ass wife.
和你性感的太太吃得开心点
I will. -You ready?
我会的 -可以走了吗
Definitely.
那还用说
What,you're mad? Don't be mad,it's a nice restaurant.
怎么了别不高兴 这是个不错的餐馆
Come on,I don't have time I'm behind the eight-ball at work.
拜托 我没有时间 我还有好些工作要做
I made that doctor's appointment for you today.
今天我替你约了那个医生
Don't forget it,okay?
别忘了 好吗
I cannot believe I gotta let'em put a camera in my ass.
我无法相信 我能让他们把摄像机插♥进♥我的屁♥股♥
You're at the age where you gotta take care of yourself.
以你的年纪应该懂得照顾自己了
They called the office. Know what they wanna know?
他们打电♥话♥到办公室 他们怎么会知道号♥码的
Do I wanna pay extra to use the Sony?
我该额外付费给"索尼"吗
They got a Sony product that goes up my ass.
他们用"索尼"的产品插♥我♥的屁♥股♥
"Sony Assman".
"索尼爱好者"
So what's the deal with little Didi at work?
你工作时和小迪迪有什么约定吗
Any new lesbian stories?
新的"女同志"故事？
I don't think she's a lesbian. She might be bisexual.
我不认为她是同性恋 也许是双性恋
That's better still. We like bisexual.
那也不错 我们喜欢双性恋
We do? -Yes,we do.
我们 -是的 我们
Is she openly bisexual?
她公然声称是双性恋
What do you mean by "openly bisexual"?
你什么意思 "公然声称"
I mean,is she openly bisexual?
我是说 她不隐瞒自己是双性恋吗
If I went right now to the salon, and opened the front door,
如果我现在去沙龙 打开前门
I walked in and yelled, "Hey,anybody here bisexual?",
走进去大叫"这里有双性恋吗"
what would little Didi do?
小迪迪会怎么做
Do we have to talk about Didi's sexuality all the time?
我们要把所有时间 花在谈论迪迪的双性恋上吗
Yes...
对
You're totally obsessed by this every time you see her.
你每次见到她都会为此着迷
She's hot for you,Laura. It's the start of the new millennium,
她对你很热情 劳拉 现在是新千年的开始
everyone's doin' it. Don't be so straight.
每个人都这么做 用不着太古板
I am straight.
我就是古板
I think it'd be good for ya.
我认为那对你有好处
Is that what you think? -I do...
你这么想 -是的
I think it'd be good for us. Menage a trois,
我认为那对我们有好处 一个内部派对
inside the confines of a good marriage.
在一个良好的婚姻界限内
what happens if I like it?
如果我喜欢上它会怎么样
If you like it?Great.
如果你喜欢上它 好极了
What if you come home and we are going at it in our bedroom?
如果你回家时 我们正在卧室里干那事呢
Wouldn't you be just a little hurt?
你会觉得有一点点受伤害吗
Hurt?Only if I smash my face on the headboard...
伤害 除非我将自己的脸往床头上撞
diving under the blankets with the two of you...
你们两个钻在毯子下面
I'd be thrilled you found a new hobby you liked.
我会为你找到新的嗜好 并喜欢上它而兴奋
See how clear that picture is?
看到那画面有多清楚吗
The same way you're looking around the office,
和你察看办公室一样
I'm looking at the lower intestines,
我看着肠道内部
and then this curves it around...
然后调整它的弯曲度
And this is actually a job you wanted as a kid?
而你竟然想做这孩子气的工作
That's funny.Lie down there.
它很有意思 躺下来
We'll see who's laughing in about a minute.
我们看看谁会在一分钟内先笑
Knees forward, if you would,please.
膝盖向前移点 如果你行的话
Be gentle. I know this comes as a shock,
轻点 我知道这就象震动器一样
but I'm not real excited about this.
但是不会给我带来快♥感♥
No...that makes two of us.
是的 那得靠我们两个
Oh-oh-oh!Wait,wait...
哦哦 等等 慢点
Ow,ow!
哇噢
Pull it out,Jerry!Pull it out!
拔出去 杰瑞 拔出去
Hey,four-year-old, it's just the lubricant.
嘿 小家伙 只是润滑剂罢了
I haven't started with the probe yet.
我还没开始用探头呢
Gentle is the buzzword for today, okay?
今天轻点用那"嗡嗡叫"好吗
Ohh!
噢
Have you seen that new Porsche Boxter?
你看过那款新保时捷吗
It's a beauty.
漂亮极了
Hey--Jane!
嘿 简
Hi! -How're you doin'?
嗨 -你还好吗
I didn't know you were in town.
我不知道你在市区
I'm going to San Francisco. I was gonna visit on my way back,
我要去圣弗朗西斯科 我早就想来拜访了
but I decided to visit on my way up.
所以我决定顺便来看看
Didn't Laura tell you? -No,she didn't.
劳拉没告诉你吗 -不 她没有
But that's okay. You're always welcome,you know that.
但是没关系 你知道你总是受欢迎的
What?
什么
I just miss you. It's great to see my best friend.
我想念你 看到我最好的朋友真是太棒了
I miss you too.
我也想念你
I love this. -I just got it.
我喜欢这个 -我得到了它
That is so not me.
为什么不是我
No.
不是
So how are your sculptures doing?
你的雕像做得怎么样
They're doing great. I think a gallery wants to show them.
做得很好 我想有家画廊愿意展出它们
I love this one.Is this new?
我喜欢这个 这是新做的？
It really works on the piano.
放在钢琴上很相衬
Isn't it great,Marty?
它是不是很漂亮 马丁
$18,000 in lessons, and tchotchkes for the living room,
上课花了一万八 而且拿住房♥作工作间
I couldn't be more happy. Are you kiddin' me,Jane?
我没法更开心了 你在和我开玩笑吗简
I don't want her having hobbies,
我不希望她有业余爱好
I want it to be all about me. -About you,huh?
我要她只围着我转 -那你呢
You should be making little sculptures of me.
你可以为我做一个小雕像
Feels so good.
感觉好极了
It's so good to see you.
看到你真是太好了
Wow,look at this, erotic feet massaging.
哇 看看这个 色情的脚部按♥摩♥