搞毛...
What the...
妈的 操
Shit, fuck.
操 操 操 操 操...
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck...
《一♥夜♥情♥未了》
马上加入
用户名: bestmeganever
教育程度: 医学预科 非英雄 和你一样
我想见的人: 变节警♥察♥ 我行我素
人们说我长得: 以前很异域风情
特殊才艺: 像混♥蛋♥一样交谈
婚姻状态: 刚分手
职业: 无业游民
职业: 求职中
说点私密的呗: 真的要说?
周五晚上做什么: 做梦
想要纯手工 新鲜烘烤的商品?
Looking for homemade, fresh-baked goods?
那就来位于雷德胡克的特里乡村烘烤坊
Come to Terry's country bake shop in Red Hook.
家庭生活圈杂♥志♥的大本营...
Home of "family circle's" magazine...
有着迷人的自然风景
With it's stunning natural beauty,
斐济是夫妻理想的度假胜地
Fiji is the ideal holiday tropical paradise for couples.
戴夫 虽然我们过不了
Well, Dave, while we didn't get
期盼已久的白色圣诞节
the white Christmas we were hoping for,
不过大自然给我们准备了礼物
mother nature may have a few tricks up her sleeve.
我们得到预报
We're getting forecasts
今晚十二级风力的暴风雪来袭...
of a hurricane-force blizzard coming tonight...
噢 梅根 我出门这么久你没动过啊
Oh, Megan, right where I left you.
- 真乖 - 被你抓了个现行
- How adorable. - You caught me red-handed.
我只是...沉迷于
I'm just... I'm such a sucker
这本经典美式小说
for the classic American novel.
- 糟糕的一天? - 不 只是累坏了
- Bad day? - No, I'm just exhausted.
是的 我明白 我也是 对吧?
Yeah, I know, me too, right?
也许是时候...找份工作了
Maybe it's time... To get a job.
你在跟我说...
You're telling me...
没错 是的
Yes, I am.
我一直都在找让我满意的工作啊
I look for fulfilling work all the time.
不过每次休息都被你撞见罢了
I just happen to be taking a break whenever you're around.
搞得像被老妈盯着做作业一样
It's like studying when mom is watching.
你跟家里谈租♥房♥♥的事了吗
Did you talk to your parents about the lease?
一号♥就到期了
Because the deadline's on the first
塞德里克很愿意承租 只要你...
and Cedric is willing to take over if you...
嗯 没呢 我还没下决定
yeah, no, I haven't made a decision on that
而且 本质上...
yet, per se...
你怎么还没下决定?
How did you not make a decision yet?
我说你今天在干嘛?
I mean, what did you do today?
这周又在干嘛?
What did you do this week?
为圣诞节做准备
I did Christmas.
而且我也开始了网恋
And I also started online dating.
真的吗?
Seriously?
是的 没错 闭嘴
Yes, yeah, shut up.
不 我为你骄傲
No, I'm proud.
见过谁了吗?
Meet anyone?
我都说了 才开始
I said, started.
我又不是机器
I'm not a machine.
噢 噢 呃 原则上我也觉得
Oh, oh, and, um, I also really like that idea
AA制挺好的 只是
of going Dutch on principle except,
我一毛钱都没有
you know, I don't have any money
所以更多时候只是想想而已
so it's kind of more of an intellectual exercise.
嗨 哇哦 你要去哪里?
Hey, whoa, where are you going?
- 你才回家 - 塞德里克的朋友
- You just got home. - Cedric's friend is having this
在酒吧搞生日派对
birthday thing at this bar.
所以你不做饭了?
So then you're not cooking dinner?
不做了...是啊
No... yeah.
你要来吗?
Do you want to come?
取决于蛋糕的大小了
Well, it kind of depends on the cake situation.
寿星男是单身哦
Well, the birthday boy is single.
虽然不是最耀眼的但很帅
And he's not the brightest but he's pretty,
所以他是一♥夜♥情♥的理想对象
so he's perfect for a one-night stand.
我不知道
I don't know.
- 你觉得我准备好了? - 谁介意?
- Do you think I'm ready? - Who cares?
我好了就等你了
I'm ready for you to be ready.
说真的 这样多久了?
I mean seriously, how long has it been?
你不饥渴吗?
Aren't you horny?
快看 就知道你俩小怪物背着我
Now see, I knew you two little freaks be having
谈这种话题了
these type of conversations when I'm not around.
我早知道了 特别是你
I knew it, especially you.
- 嗨 塞德里克 - 我就知道 逮到你了
- Hi, Cedric. - I knew it, I caught you.
是啊 不 我是饥渴但我也...
Well, yes, no, I'm horny but I'm also...
有时 有点懒
Somewhat lazy, sometimes.
两相抵消 像是两个小人在争斗...
So the two counteract, like dueling wizards...
不用了
not anymore.
- 今晚就是机会 - 法依扎要卖♥♥了我
- Tonight is the night. - Faiza's setting me up.
我认为是本
I'm thinking Ben.
我喜欢那样 很酷
I like that, that's cool.
本
Ben.
- 你好 - 嗨
- Hello. - Hi.
怎么了
What's up?
- 请出示身份证 - 我成年了
- ID please. - I'm a girl.
呃 不 抱歉 你看起来年轻
Uh, no, I'm sorry, you look kinda young.
把这当做赞美 好吗?
Take it like a compliment, all right?
- 靠! - 你身份证怎么又丢了?
- Shit! - How did you lose your ID again?
你都没出去
You don't go anywhere.
好了 等等 瞧 我年纪够大了 我发誓
Okay, wait, look, I am old enough, I swear.
看见了吗 就在这?
Do you see that, right there?
- 它在动 - 噢 天哪 梅根
- It moves. - Oh my God, Megan.
嗨 身份证
Hey, ID.
哦 操
Oh, shit.
尴尬了
Awkward.
嗨
Hey.
我听说你过得不错
I heard you're doing good.
听谁说的?
From who?
不知道 我只是...
I don't know, I just...
寒暄一下
Said that to be nice.
哦...
Oh...
克里斯 我想这女生想勾引你
Chris, I think this girl's trying to get by you.
哦 不
Oh, no.
呃 这是... 这是贝卡
Uh, this is... this is Becca.
贝卡 这是法依扎 塞德里克 和梅根
Becca, this is faiza and Cedric and Megan.
梅根和我 我们有一小段过去
Megan and I, we were together for a bit.
是删减版吗 仅仅那样而已?
Is the abridged version, just like that?
你们俩进不进去
You two coming in or what?
很高兴见到你们
Nice to meet you.
很高兴见到你 梅根
Good seeing you, Megan.
我都不想听你们这么说
I don't even want to hear you guys say it.
听着 如果我们知道他要来
Listen, if we knew that he was going to be here
我会给你打预防的
I would have warned you.
形势严重了 我在降级
This is a serious pattern, I am regressing.
去年大学
Last year I was in college
我还是克里斯的未婚妻
and I was Chris's fiancée
在餐馆里喝酒
and I drank wine in restaurants.
而现在整天穿着内衣宅在家
And now I am at home all day in my underwear,
谁也不要我
and I'm nobody's nothing,
甚至都进不了吧
and I can't even get into a bar.
我造什么孽了?
What is happening to me?
我越活越回去了!
I am going backwards!
我现在越来越像本杰明·巴顿了
I am Benjamin Button-ing!
《返老还童》主人公
他放下了 所以呢 你也可以
He moved on, so what, so can you.
要我说打个出租回家
I say take a cab home,
登录那个约会网 挑个可爱的
get on that dating site, pick a cute guy.
不喝酒 不吃饭 直奔主题
No drinks, no dinner, just a hook-up.
这事可控制不了
You can't order it,
不是想怎么样就怎么样的!
it's not edible arrangements!
呃 不 你可以
Uh, yeah, you can.
你有本钱和约炮工具
You have tits and the Internet.
塞德里克 挺我两句
Cedric, back me up.
网络 乳♥头♥
Internet, tits.
非常时刻非常手段