破产姐妹  第六季 第八集

2 Broke Girls S06E08

2019年8月15日 06:08 推荐到豆瓣

每个人都有自己的小执迷


Han, what're you doing in our bar?
阿憨 你来我们酒吧干嘛
You know we can't serve kids.
你明知道酒吧禁止接待未成年人
Or did you just want to see
还是你是想看看
what a successful business looks like?
一门成功的生意是怎么样
I know what a successful business looks like.
我知道成功的生意是怎么样啊
My cousin runs a Blimpie's in Queens.
我表哥在皇后区开了廉价潜艇堡店
You have a relative that works at a Blimpie's?
你有亲戚在廉价潜艇堡店工作啊
Is he single?
他单身吗
Hi, I'm Clint, the new bartender.
我叫克林特 我是新来的酒保
It's a pleasure for you to meet me.
你能认识我是你的荣幸
I hired Clint away from that cool bar down the street.
我从街尾那家很酷的酒吧把克林特挖来
He has a following.
他有追随者
And his following followed him here,
而他的追随者追随他到我们这了
and now we have a following.
所以我们店也有追随者了
You following?
你能听懂[追随]吗
Oh, a following.
追随的粉丝啊
Like I had on youtube before they got all weird about nudity.
在视频网站严查裸♥露视频前 我也有很多啊
Girls, this place has more people in it
老妹 在你这里的人
than my first marriage.
比我首段婚姻还人多
Hey, Earl.
厄尔
Cacao Storm for my diabetic dreamboat?
给我的糖尿病梦中情人来杯可可风暴吗
Well, you know I can't say no to booze.
你知道我拒绝不了酒
If I could, I'd still be in The Temptations.
如果能 我就不会从大牌黑人合唱团被踢走了
No, no, no, it's very little booze, okay?
不不 这里面酒精含量非常少
See, you drink it for the raw cacao.
主要卖点是原可可粉
Yeah, it releases serotonin
它有助于释放血清素
and boosts your energy and your mood.
激发你的能量 振奋你的心情
I'm pretty much a genius.
我基本上就是个天才
And I'm pretty much gonna pass.
我基本上还是不喝了吧
You want to try a Cacao Storm? Huh, buddy?
想试一杯可可风暴吗 小兄弟
Yeah, you do.
你当然想喝
They're addictive.
它们可让人上瘾了
Raw cacao with a little chocolate liqueur.
原可可粉搭配少量巧克力酒
It's how I got to be such a big deal.
我就是靠这个变得远近驰名
And it's how I'm gonna get a new wardrobe
我也要靠这个卖得特好的饮品
with the way these are selling.
买新衣服啦
Soon, I'll be able to buy clothes from places
很快我就不用去那种又卖天然气
that don't also sell gas.
又卖衣服的店里买衣服了
I'll try one. I am a little stressed.
我试一杯吧 我最近压力有点大
I'm entering the post office's
我要参加今年邮局的
Federal Duck Stamp Contest this year.
联邦鸭子邮票大赛
发行来为水禽及湿地保护筹款的邮票 上面图案
采比赛征集制 此邮票深受集邮者喜爱
They still have post offices?
这年代了邮局还存在啊
I wonder if my "Wanted" Poster's still up.
真不知道我的那张通缉令还在不在
It is. You were a cute kid.
还贴在墙上呢 你小时候超可爱
And they have a contest to design
他们每年都举办比赛
a new duck stamp every year.
设计新的鸭子邮票图案
If I win, my mallard drawing will be on
我要是赢了 我画的绿头鸭
official United States postage.
将会印在美国邮票上
How can there be a winner of a contest
这比赛怎么可能有赢家
you have to be a loser to enter?
参赛的全是人生输家啊
You feeling the buzz yet, son?
感觉到那股爽劲儿了吗 小弟弟
You should. I only use pure Columbian cacao.
应该会感觉到 我用的可是科伦比亚纯可可
Strongest in the city actually, in the state.
全市劲儿最强的 其实是本省最强
I just didn't want to brag about it.
我不想太显摆而已
It's one of the greatest things about me.
谦虚是我最大的优点之一
Yes, yes.
的确 的确有啊
I think I feel it. A little jolt.
我感觉到了 小后劲
Wasn't that your American Gladiator name?
这是你《美国角斗士》里的艺名吗
找来业余运动员来配对比赛的游戏节目
Why you got to harsh my buzz?
你为啥要来泼老子冷水
Wait till this duck flies to stamp victory.
等我的鸭画荣获桂冠
Then I'll be ridiculeproof.
世间再无人敢嘲弄我
You'll never be wedgieproof.
但你此生内♥裤还是会被人拉过头顶
I just checked our receipts.
我看了一下我们的收入
We already made $1500, tonight.
我们今晚已经赚了一千五了
Max, if this keeps up,
麦克斯 如果能保持
we'll be able to watch Hulu without commercials.
我们很快就能买线上视频无广告会员啦
带广告是.美金一个月 无广告是.美金一个月
in one night?
一晚上就有一千五吗?
I didn't even make that much
我当年告发我妈的
when I turned in my mom for the reward money.
悬赏奖金都没那么多
Plus, it think this is better than you bartending, Max.
而且这样也比你亲自当酒保靠谱
You were great, but your "One for them, one for me" policy
你也不错 但你的"你一杯 我也一杯"政策
got a little topless.
最后有点无上限[上衣]了
You enjoyed the tips, didn't you?
你难道就没享受那小费吗
I said "tips."
我是说乳♥头[小费]
Excuse me, excuse me.
让让 让让
Haven't you seen a stroller in a bar before?
没在酒吧里见过婴儿推车吗
Hey, girls.
姑娘们
What, you're not even gonna say hello,
你们连声招呼都不愿意打吗
cause I look like garbage?
就因为我看起来像一坨垃圾'
You didn't even give us a chance, Sophie.
你连让我们打招呼的机会都还没给 苏菲
You were too busy running over all of our customers.
你刚才都在忙着碾过我们的顾客
Well, I'm sorry if I'm embarrassing you
要是我的样子让你觉得丢人了
with the way I look, Caroline.
那真是不好意思啊 卡洛琳
Look, I don't have time to make me
我都没时间把我自己
and baby Barbara look sexy.
跟芭芭拉宝宝打扮性感
Max, maybe we should get manicures?
麦克斯 或许我们可以去做个指甲
I haven't had one since Gwyneth Paltrow
我上次做指甲还是格温妮丝·帕特罗
好莱坞女星 近年较知名作品是《钢铁侠》系列中的小辣椒
was only a little annoying.
只是稍微讨人厌的那年呢
We don't have grooming money.
我们哪来的美容钱啊
I'm still cutting my hair with a sword like Mulan.
我到现在还像花木兰一样用剑斩头发呢
Max, we're doing really well,
麦克斯 我们生意这么棒
so why not enjoy our success a little?
何不稍微享受一下我们的成功呢
I mean, we don't have "screw you" money yet,
虽然我们还没赚够"去你丫的"钱
来自女星刘玉玲所发表的言论 指的是足够让自己
在工作上有不爽时 辞职走人无后顾之忧的存款
but we have enough to be mildly unpleasant.
但是也够过上只是轻微不爽的日子啦
No kiddin'!
还真是呢
Oh, come on, come on!
快点 快点啊
I want to get our nails did.
我想快点去做指甲
Why does it take so long for a load to finish?
为什么总是要这么久才能"完事"
Have you tried dirty talk?
你试过淫♥声♥浪♥语了吗
Oh, that's my dryer.
那是我的烘干机
Oh, mine now.
现在是我的了
You snooze, you lose.
走神你就输了
But I wasn't snoozing, why am I losing?
可我都没走神 怎么会输了呢
Sup, Janice?
最近好吗 珍妮丝'
How's things down at the Coinstar?
零钱换钞小铺最近如何
I'm ready for a change.
我准备好要"换"了
Max, don't engage her, she threw my clothes on the ground.
麦克斯 别跟人套近乎 她把我衣服都丢地上了
Buzzer go off? You snooze, you lose.
警示音响起后 走神你就输了
Ugh, now I have to wash these again because there's...
现在这些都得重新洗过了 因为地上有...
what I really hope is fudge on the floor.
我真心希望地上的是巧克力松糕
Where's my underwear?
我的内♥裤上哪去了
Looks like Ralph has a job interview.
貌似拉尔夫要去面试 得打扮体面
Ralph, that's my underwear.
拉尔夫 那是我的内♥裤
Give it back.
还给我
Ugh, I can't wait till we don't have to come here anymore.
真希望我们能快点不用再来这里
But where will we cook our chicken?
那我们以后上哪煮鸡肉啊
You know what?
你知道吗
We're successful now.
我们现在是成功人士
We don't have to come here anymore.
不需要再来这里了
Can I have your attention, everyone?
大家能注意我一下吗
Uh, that depends, are you a cat video?
得看了 你是可爱喵星人影片吗
I'd like to make an announcement.
我想要宣布一件事
As of today, we are saying goodbye to this place.
从今日起 我们要告别这里
So Ralph, you can keep my panties,
拉尔夫 我的内♥裤你就收下吧
I know you have a wedding next month.
我知道你下个月还有婚礼
Max and I are successful enough now to afford
我跟麦克斯现在功成名就
our own washer and dryer.
够钱买自己的洗衣机与烘干机
Or more realistically, a lowbudget fluffandfold.
实际点说 应该是廉价的请人洗衣服务
So take one last look at us
你们可以再看我们一眼
But no need to take out your penis, Marty.
但不需要把你的鸡鸡掏出来 马蒂
Come on, Max, let's go get our manicures.
走吧 麦克斯 咱们去做指甲去
Goodbye, Laundromat, we are never coming back
再见啦 自助洗衣店 我们永远不会再回
to this hell hole again.
你这地狱深渊啦
You just put another load in the washer.
你刚刚才又洗了一批衣服
We are coming back to this hell hole again.
我们还会再回你这地狱深渊的
Earl, we got manicures!
厄尔 我们做了指甲啦
Caroline wanted our nails to project success, so...
卡洛琳想要我们的指甲透露出成功气息 所以...
What says "Classy lady" like Monopoly houses?
有什么比大富翁游戏的房子更显档次呢
Wow, congratulations, Max.
恭喜你啊 麦克斯
This is probably the closest any of us will ever come
这大概是我们这群人里
to owning a house.
最接近拥有房子的一次了
Speak for yourself, Earl.
厄尔 你买不起别牵扯上我们
Max and I are successful now.
麦克斯跟我现在可成功了
I said goodbye to the Laundromat this morning,
我今早跟自助洗衣店说了再见
and this afternoon, I said goodbye to the bodega
今天下午 我跟那家我们去
where we get our flu shots.
打流感疫苗的杂货店说了永别
You could've waited till after I got my
你明明可以等到我买完我的
flu shot and sandwich combo.
流感疫苗加三明治特价套餐再告别
Hi, could you bring me a water, please?
能麻烦帮我倒杯水吗
Um, could you bring someone water
如果你手指上有房子
if you had houses for fingers?
你有办法帮人倒水吗
I can't wait till we say goodbye to this place.
真等不及能挥别这地方的时刻
I'm gonna be really mean.
我绝对会毒舌到极点
I may do it as a poem.
可能写首诗吐槽吧
What rhymes with "Ratinfested"?
有什么跟"鼠辈为患"押韵啊
Flatchested.
"平胸咋办"
You better slow down.
你别太得意忘形
We've only had one good night at the dessert bar,
我们就只是甜品酒吧生意好了一晚
and you said we had to keep working at the diner
你也说我们得在这里继续工作到
till we made enough to be legally poor.
我们挣够钱升级到"合法"贫穷
Okay, fine.
好吧 行
It's like those nails are making you reasonable
感觉那些指甲让你变得通情达理
and I don't like it.
我不喜欢
Han, your hair!
阿憨 你的头发
Who are you supposed to be, Edward Scissorhans?
你这是什么造型 爱德华·小憨手吗
与电影《爱德华剪刀手》中 主角约翰尼·德普
发型类似
I was up all night, sketching my stamp.
我一晚没睡 都在画我的邮票
Want to see my duck?
想看我的鸭鸭[鸡鸡]吗
Praying that wasn't an autocorrect.
祈祷你说的话 不是错别字
Look at all the practice ducks I've drawn.
看看这些我练习画的鸭
The American Wood duck.
美国木鸭
The Harlequin duck.
丑鸭
The SpotBilled duck.
斑嘴鸭
A mallard.
绿头鸭
A mallard.
绿头鸭
A mallard, a mallard
绿头鸭 绿头鸭
Caroline, take is batteries out.
卡洛琳 把他的电池拔♥出♥来
This beauty's gonna win me the stamp contest.
这只美鸭将会为我赢得大赛
All I have to do now is color it.
万事俱备 只差上色了
And then sit back and plan my victory party.
然后好好休息 计划我的庆功派对
Guess which stamp I'll use to send the invites?
你猜我会用什么邮票来邮寄邀请函
Gay flag?
基佬彩虹旗邮票吗
No, a mallard!
不 是绿头鸭邮票
Where'd you get that cacao from?
你从哪弄来的可可粉啊
Clint gave me a couple grams before he left last night.
克林特收工回家之前留了几克给我
I've been microdosing it all day.
我一整天都微剂量在服用
Why are you rubbing it on your gums?
你为什么要直接抹牙龈上啊
Are you teething?
长牙嘴痒吗
Clint says the buzz is stronger if I take it straight.
克林特说直接吸收爽度更强
Okay, I didn't believe Clint when he said cacao was addictive,
我本来还不相信克林特说的可可粉会上瘾
but I also didn't believe in leprechauns
但我本来也不相信爱尔兰矮妖是真的
until I started working for one.
但在矮妖店里做事后我就信了
If I cut my gums...
如果我把牙龈割开
Will it enter my bloodstream any faster?
粉会不会更快进入我的血管啊
You're a junkie!
老毒虫你应该懂啊
Han, you're acting like that time you had a whole Red Bull.
阿憨 你又跟上次喝完整瓶红牛一样嗨了
Okay...
好了
you have a problem!
你上瘾了
I'm telling Clint you're cut off.
我会告诉克林特不许再供应你
Well, I'm telling Clint I love him.
那我要告诉克林特我爱他
He loves that.
他就爱听这个
Fine, I'll just finish my stamp without cacao.
行 我只好不靠可可粉完成我的邮票了
Damn it!
去你的
Hi, everybody!
大家安安
I hope they're never expecting Barbara
我希望他们永远都不指望
to have a shortterm memory.
芭芭拉开始有任何短期记忆
Oh, look away, look away.
别看了 别看我了
Things have gotten real bad.
情况越来越糟糕了
I look like all of you now.
我现在看起来像你们这帮人了
Sophie, why didn't you come with us to the nail place?
苏菲 你为什么不跟我们一起去做指甲
It was so much fun.
可好玩了
I couldn't make it, I was too busy
我去不了 太忙了
bedazzling Barbara's diapers.
忙着给芭芭拉的尿布贴亮片
I'm just gonna have to face it
我只能接受这个事实了
I'm not gonna be pretty again for at least years.
我至少有年的时间不能再美艳动人了
Oh, I'll be Caroline's age by then.
天啊 到时候我就到了卡洛琳的岁数了
Sophie, I keep saying, you'll always be sexy to me.
苏菲 我总是告诉你 你在我眼里永远性感
And I hate to sound all loveydovey,
我不想说些情意绵绵的肉麻情话
but you're giving me a boner.
但我的鸡因你而勃
You're just saying that 'cause you have to.
你是因为没得选才这么说
I don't want your pity boner.
我才不要你的同情勃
Caroline, if pity boners are a thing,
卡洛琳 如果真有同情勃这回事
you have got to get back out there.
那你得赶紧重出江湖啊
I was thinking the same thing.
我刚才也在想同一件事
You got the stuff, Clint?
克林特 你带货来了吗
It's premium grade, right?
是顶级货吧
If it isn't, you're in for a very
如果不是 那你就准备接受
unpleasant conversation.
一场不太愉快的交谈了
My guy from Columbia guarantees it.
我哥伦比亚的供货商跟我保证过
Not the country, we went to college together.
不是那个毒品大国 是我哥伦比亚大学的同学
Want a little taste?
想验个货吗
You bet your butt I do!
废话 还用你说
I want to make sure it's not cut with Nestle Quik.
我想确定里面没有掺杂便宜雀巢咖啡粉
That's the stuff muddy donkeys are made of.
脏驴鸡尾酒就是用这种货调的
用巧克力酒 朗姆酒 肉桂蒸馏酒混合成的鸡尾酒
Max!
麦克斯
Uh, fancy meeting you here.
没想到在这遇见你
Clint and I were just broing out over...
我和克林特在叙兄弟情呢 聊聊...
sports.
运动啊
And breasts.
大胸啊
And...zoos?
还有...动物园啊
What do men talk about?
男人平时见面都聊什么呀
Hey, Max.
麦克斯
We killed it last night, huh?
昨晚我们赚翻了 对吧
Me more than you.
我的功劳大过你哦
You gonna want this or not, I got to go do my podcast.
你到底要不要 我得去做我的播客了
I'm interviewing myself.
我要采访我自己
I know a drug deal when I see it!
是不是毒品交易 我一看就能看出来
He's cut off.
他不许碰毒
Like me on $ margarita night.
就像元酒之夜 我不许碰酒一样
Max, I need that cacao to finish my duck stamp!
麦克斯 我需要可可粉来完成我的鸭子邮票
One last ride on the chocolate pony.
让这匹巧克力小马再带我飞最后一次吧
Look at you chocolate all over your face.
瞧瞧你 满脸都是巧克力
You look like Jonah Hill reading the reviews for War Dogs.
你就像《军火贩》的肥男主在看影评 爽得咧
Clint, don't you dare sell it to him.
克林特 你不许卖给他
You can't tell me what to do, okay?
轮不到你告诉我该怎么做
I'm seriousI will quit.
我是说真的 我会辞职的哦
Oh, hmm, I'll say the same thing I said to my mother
那把我对我妈说的同一句话送给你
resignation accepted.
接受请辞
You just made a huge mistake.
你犯了一个天大的错误
You're talking to someone
不用你说我也知道
who watched the second season of True Detective.
我可是看了《真探》第二季的人
不少人觉得《真探》第二季相比第一季 大失水准
Right, Han?
你说是吧 阿憨
That scumbag couldn't have taken all the cacao.
那个人♥渣不可能把全部可可粉都带走吧
Quick, help me check the cabinets.
快 帮我找找酒柜有没有
Keep away from my drawers, Han.
别碰我的抽屉[内♥裤] 阿憨
You got to be used to hearing that.
这句话你肯定整天听到
Max, I just gave a goodbye speech at the free clinic.
麦克斯 我刚跟免♥费诊所告别了
Oh, also, the lab technician
对了 那个实验室技术员
said for you to call her ASAP.
让你尽快打给她
Ugh, Claire freaks out about everything.
克莱尔什么事都爱大惊小怪
I'll tear this place apart!
我要把这地方翻个底朝天
Where the hell is the cacao?
可可粉到底在哪里
What's happening, where's Clint?
发生什么事了 克林特去哪儿了
He quit. He quit?
他辞职了 他辞职了
But what about his following?
但他的追随者怎么办
What about our following?
我们的追随者怎么办
What about my goodbye tour?
我的告别巡回秀怎么办
Say goodbye to it.
跟你的告别秀告别啊
I think I found some!
我好像找到了点
Nope, that was straightup dirt.
不是 那是纯灰尘
It's for the best.
这样最好
Cause Jane Cacaoski over there can't get enough.
因为那位可可粉小姐已经走火入魔了'
I'll just get back behind the bar.
我回吧台后面[监狱]工作了
Now, if you'll excuse me, one of my hotels came loose
抱歉先失陪啦 其中一间牢房的犯人跑出来了
while I was giving someone the finger.
都怪我当时忙着对人竖中指没看好
I guess I'm going to have to call that other dealer
我想我只能打给广告分类网上
I found on Craigslist.
另一位粉贩子了
I'm IceT and I need my Coco.
我是老鼠 我要我的大米
IceT是著名匪帮说唱艺人 Coco是他的巨♥乳老婆
Han, if you can get that cacao,
阿憨 如果你能拿到可可粉
Max can make the Cacao Storms herself.
麦克斯自己也能做可可风暴
I've seen her make opium out of poppy seed bagels and a Lacroix.
我见过她用罂粟籽面包圈和气泡水做出鸦♥片
Han, call that dealer.
阿憨 快打给粉贩子
Already dialing.
已经拨出去了
I'm halfway down the Hershey Highway.
我已经在去"后♥庭"的半路上了
I meant the Fudge Factory.
我是说软糖工厂
俚语中是指男同性恋聚集的地方
I don't want to hear about your personal life,
我不想知道你的私生活
just call the dealer.
快打电话吧
Han, where is this guy?
阿憨 那家伙在哪儿
I'm scared.
我好害怕啊
Someone might think we're a couple.
别人可能会误会我们是情侣
I hope he gets here soon.
我也想他马上来啊
I just snorted a pint of Chunky Monkey.
我刚吸食了一品脱的冰淇淋
That's him, now act cool.
他来了 淡定点
Yoohoo, Mr. Drug Dealer!
毒贩子先生 你好呀
Right here.
这边
You're embarrassing me!
你真让我丢脸
Oh, also, tell him we're not a couple.
对了 记得告诉他我们不是情侣
You guys here for the cacao?
你们俩是来买可可粉的吗
Let's cut to the chase, where's the dope?
废话少说 货在哪儿
Standing right in front of me.
我面前就有一蠢货
We're not together.
我们不是情侣哦
You want the cops to hear us?
你们想让警察听见吗
Would it matter? You're selling chocolate.
有关系吗 你是在卖巧克力粉
I know, but it's more fun to act like it's naughty.
我知道 但假装违法感觉更好玩啊
That's the only reason I do this.
这是我♥干这行的唯一原因
I'm so bored.
我无聊死了
I'm a stayathome grandpa.
我是一名全职爷爷
Show me the skrank!
给我看街粉
That's the word I made up for street cacao.
这是我为街头可可粉专门编造的一个词
Here it is.
在这
Had to kill a hooker to get it.
为了得到它 我还杀了一名妓♥女
I wish.
瞎说的啦
My daughterinlaw works for Nestle.
我的儿媳妇在雀巢工作
Earl, what're you doing out here?
厄尔 你在这里干嘛
Just to be clear, I'm out here with Han
先把话说清楚 我跟阿憨在这里
for business, nothing romantic.
纯粹是公事 绝对没私情
What are you doing out here
你们在外面私会
with my Canadian Viagra connection?
我的加拿大伟哥供货商干嘛
Hey, Earl! Hey, Bill!
厄尔 比尔
Hey, man, how's your daughterinlaw?
伙计 你的儿媳妇还好吗
Still climbing the corporate ladder at Nestle Toronto?
还在多伦多的雀巢公司想着往上爬吗
And doing CrossFit on the weekends.
然后周末健健身
And Ted's finally got his real estate license.
泰德终于拿到真正的房屋中介执照了
No one cares, Grandpa!
没人想听 老爷爷
Tell that to the pigeons in the park!
你去跟公园里的鸽子唠家常吧
I'm this close to mainlining Tootsie Rolls.
老子都快要把巧克力糖注射进静脉了
Here's the money. Not this again!
给你钱 不是吧
I come out here to smoke a joint,
我就出来想抽支大♥麻烟
and I walk in on a drug deal?
就这么让我撞见毒品交易吗
Shame!
可耻
Hey, you!

Get out of here before I pop a cap in your Honda Odyssey.
快离开这 否则我就让你的面包车吃枪子儿
I'm sorry, it was either this, or have an affair.
抱歉 要么干这行 要么干小三
And I'm just too tired.
而我实在没那个体力啊
Well, it looks like I got to go tell Ruth
看来我要告诉露丝
it's gonna be an "everything but" kind of night
今晚将会是"除了爱爱啥都行"之夜
Jeez.

I learned it from watching you, Dad?
这都是跟你学的 父亲大人
Max, we need that cacao for our dessert bar.
麦克斯 我们的甜品酒吧需要可可粉
I already told the soup kitchen what I think
我已经跟救济厨房说了我对他们
of their tomato bisque, so there's no turning back.
番茄浓汤的真实想法 所以我们没有回头路了
Your addictions are both out of control.
你们俩的瘾头都失控了
Caroline, there are no shortcuts to success
卡洛琳 成功没有捷径
or creating a stampworthy mallard.
创造一只能登上邮票的鸭子也是
Life is a slow, steady climb
人生需要缓慢稳步往上爬
to just getting by.
才能好好过活
Snap out of it!
快振作起来
Me? You're addicted too.
别光说我 你也上瘾啊
To these nails.
对象是你的美甲
No I'm not, I can stop any time!
我才没有 我随时能打住
Then why are you crying?
那你哭屁啊
Cause I'm on my knees in an alley
因为老娘在一条巷子里双膝跪地'
and nothing fun is happening!
却没有任何让我爽的事情发生
Home wrecker!
破坏我"家"庭
You know, fine!
好啊
Maybe I like the way they make me feel.
或许我是迷上它们给我的感觉
But youyou were so high on success,
可你呢 你如此热衷于成功
you were willing to let Han OD!
你甚至愿意让阿憨吸粉过度
Or, at least, get really, really hyperactive.
或者至少变得非常非常过度亢奋
So what? You don't care about me, Max, do you?
那又怎样 你又不在乎我 麦克斯 对吗
No.
对啊
Maybe a little.
或许有一点吧
See how your addiction has affected me, Caroline?
看到你的瘾头对我造成多大的影响了吧 卡洛琳
I just had to admit I care about Han!
害我刚不得不承认我在乎阿憨
Now I'm flying high on that!
现在我真是开心到飞起啊
I'm gonna go try to finish my stamp.
我要去试着完成我的邮票
Perhaps some hot cocoa would help.
或许来杯热可可会有帮助
Administered rectally, of course.
当然是指直接从直肠灌
Found it!
找到了
Sophie?
苏菲
Is there anyone we know not in this alley?
怎么今晚所有熟人都在这条巷子里
I found Barbara's bedazzler.
我找到芭芭拉的水钻定型机了
Oh, yeah, it's all about her now.
是啊 现在啥事都以她为主
Oh, you can't be gorgeous and be a good mother.
很难同时做到外表美美哒 母爱棒棒哒
Just look at Neil Patrick Harris.
你看尼尔·帕特里克·哈里斯就知道了
美国演员 男同性恋 有一对龙凤胎孩子
Well, I think he's very charming
我觉得他非常有个人魅力
and I think you're being unfair.
你这么说不公平了
This might be what's left of my nails talking, but Sophie,
这话可能是来自我剩余的美甲 但苏菲
if you're not decked out with your boobs half showing,
如果你不再用酥胸半露装饰自己
are you really setting the right example for Barbara?
你是不是会给芭芭拉树立错误的榜样呢
Oh, from this side of the dumpster,
对于身处垃圾箱中的我
you're making a lot of sense, girl.
你这话的确让我获益良多 姑娘
You really are.
还真是
Are you gonna start brushing your teeth
你要开始刷牙
and putting the seat down?
把马桶盖放下来了吗
No.
并没有
Here's your flantini.
这是你的果馅饼提尼
And here's my flantini.
这杯是我的果馅饼提尼
Good to be back.
重回岗位感觉真好
Well, I tried, but I can't find Clint.
我试过了 但就是找不到克林特
I feel like every man I've ever had sex with.
感觉就像我 跟男人上完床就跑没影一样
We don't need Clint or his stupid cacao.
我们才不需要克林特或他的傻♥逼可可粉
Uh, although, his podcast was pretty interesting.
但是 他的播客还挺有意思的呢
Those girls he worked for sounded like nightmares.
他的两位女老板听起来简直就是女魔头啊
I'm gonna have one, two, three Sprites.
我要来一 二 三杯雪碧
We're getting wild tonight.
我们今晚想玩得野一点
Coming right up, Bill the Dealer.
马上来 药头比尔
Oh, it's just Bill now.
现在就只是比尔了
I accidentally buttdialed my wife during a major
手机意外在我进行重大抗胃酸药交易时
Pepcid AC drop.
打给了我老婆
She took the minivan.
她把面包车没收了
Hey, everybody!
大家安安
No, it's not Suzanne Somers.
不 我不是不老女星苏珊娜·萨默斯
It's me, Sophie!
是我 苏菲
Wow, Sophie got her sexy back.
苏菲又回性感艳后路线了
Yeah, and front and under.
还有艳胸跟艳穴
Sophie, you deserve a flantini.
苏菲 这杯果馅饼提尼是你应得的
And so do I.
也是我应得的
Oh, you know what, I did what you told me to do
我按你让我做的方法做
and I dropped baby Barbara off at the trainer/babysitter,
然后把芭芭拉宝宝送到了训练师兼保姆那里
and I had a bunch of Korean ladies go to town on me.
然后再让一帮韩国女人帮我修剪"杂毛"
Hey, where's Oleg?
奥列格呢
I told him to meet me here.
我告诉他在这里跟我碰面
Sophie?
苏菲
You look as beautiful as the day
你今日美艳动人的程度
we first did it on the sink.
犹如我们首次在洗手槽做♥爱的那天
Damn straight, I do!
他妈还用你说
Yo, what's with the white people's clothes?
你为什么穿着白人佬的衣服
Yeah, what's going on? I can't even see any nipple.
对啊 这是怎么回事 连乳♥头都没露
But somehow, it's worse.
但却反而比以前更糟
Sophie, I want you to see that
苏菲 我想让你看到
we don't have to be the sexy couple anymore.
我们不用像以前那样永远都当性感夫妻
Anymore?
什么不用像以前
When were you guys the sexy couple?
你们俩什么时候当过性感夫妻了
That weekend you went to Amish Country?
你们去阿米什人区的那个周末吗
基督教某一教派的人 拒绝使用现代科技 过着
较为朴实原始的生活
Oh, yeah.
赞啊
Do you remember when we did it in that buggy
还记得我们在那家人面前
in front of that family?
在马车上做♥爱的画面吗
Oh, I bet they wish they had a camera for that.
我敢赌他们当时一定很想拍下来
You want to go do it in the bathroom...
想跟我去厕所做♥爱吗
buggystyle?
用马车式
Oh, I'm gonna pretend that Jebediah
我会假装那阿米什哥们
is turning away in shame.
因为羞愧而别过头 没在看
I'm gonna pretend he isn't.
我会假装他没有 继续盯着看
I guess we're scrubbing down our bathroom later.
看来晚点我们得给厕所大清洗了
We're heading out.
我们要走啦
It's almost :.
马上要八点了
Here's my last bag of cacao.
这是我最后一包可可粉
I can't do anything with it,
我处理不掉它
not with my cholesterol.
我胆固醇过高
A tiny baggie of cacao?
一小包可可粉
What're we gonna do with this?
我们能拿这干嘛
Same thing I do with any powder I find:
跟所有我发现的粉末一样
see what all the fuss is about.
试试它牛逼在哪
Not hating it.
还不赖
Holding out on me?
藏私货吗
You skrank skanks!
你俩街粉小婊♥子
I'm coming in!
我也要来分一口粉


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