破产姐妹  第一季 第九集

2 Broke Girls S01E09

2019年7月18日 14:35 推荐到豆瓣

麦克斯失恋


Max.
麦克斯
It's the woman at table 2's 50th birthday
二号桌的女士今天五十大寿
and her husband wants us to sing to her.
她丈夫请咱们帮忙唱生日歌
If I had a dollar every time a man asked me to do something to his wife,
每次帮男人对他老婆"做件事"就有一块钱的话
I'd be a millionaire.
那姐早是百万富翁了
I remember when Happy Birthday first came up.
我还记得生日歌刚出来那会儿呢
I never thought it would catch on.
真没想到它居然能传唱至今
Go!
快去
And smile.
真心的微笑
When you fake smile, everybody else fakes smile back.
你以假笑对世界,世界会回报以假笑
Nobody wants to hear that lame song.
没人会想听这首恶俗的歌
If we want to humiliate her in public,
要想在公众场合羞辱她
why don't we go over there and pull her top down?
直接扯掉她上衣不更好吗
Come on, let's just go sing and make the best of it.
来嘛,咱们就过去好好唱一下
Hi. Ready?
你们好,准备好了吗
One, two, three...
一,二,三
Happy birthday to you...
祝你生日快乐
Whoa!
搞毛啊
Ma'am, I apologize.
女士,我郑重向您道歉
It's hard enough your husband took you to a diner on your birthday
被老公带来破餐馆过生日已经够不堪了
and now you have to listen to white Mariah?
不能再让您忍受白人版玛丽亚·凯莉的折磨
No!
门都没有
Cupcake's on me.
小蛋糕算我送的
To yoooooooou
快乐哈
I have announcement to make.
我有要事要宣布
I agree with what Max said before.
我同意麦克斯之前说的
What? That we should tie a little bell around you,
哪句,应该在你身上系个猫铃铛
so we know when you're near?
好知道你何时在附近吗
That's the happy birthday song is very lame.
是你说生日歌很恶俗这句
The diner needs a fresh, new way to celebrate the customer birthday.
餐馆需要全新的方式来帮顾客庆祝生日
So I just went and wrote a special song.
所以我写了一首特别的歌
Han, I'd be happy to look at what you've written so far.
憨,我很乐意过目下你的成果
I took music theory in college.
我大学的时候学过乐理
I once wrote an entire original musical based on the French revolution.
我曾以法国大革命为背景,独家写了一整出音乐剧
Um, sorry to step on your nerd turf,
抱歉,要踏入你们书呆的领域
but Les Mis is already a musical about the French revolution.
但关于法国大革命的音乐剧,早有《悲惨世界》在先
Yes, but mine was from the point of view of the rich.
是啊,但我的是从富人的角度出发
What are you going to rewrite next--
那你下一部要改写什么...
the musical Rent from the point of view of the landlord?
地主角度版的《吉屋出租》吗
Han, this is a lovely start, but--
憨,开头不错,但...
A lovely start?
开头不错
No, I mean, it's good.
不,我是称赞开头挺好
But not good enough.
但是不够好
I know what you are saying.
我知道你想说什么
"You need to practice more, Han.
"憨,你得多加练习"
"You never will be as good as your sister, Han.
"憨,你永远都比不上你的姐姐"
"Whole family going on vacation
"憨,我们举家去旅游时"
without you while you practice, Han."
"你就乖乖留在家练习吧"
Back off, tiger mom!
滚开,虎妈
Hey, Caroline, is Max around?
卡洛琳,麦克斯在吗
Um, she might be. I'll go check.
可能在,我去看看
You'll never guess who just came into the restaurant.
你做梦也想不到谁来了
You'll be very happy.
你会开心死的
Gary, the fat guy from Teen Mom?
加里,《少女妈妈》里面那个胖子吗
Someone you like, someone you want to kiss, someone you're hot for.
让你喜欢,让你双唇欲动,让你欲♥火焚身的那位
Tyler, the skinny guy from Teen Mom?
泰勒,《少女妈妈》里面那个瘦子吗
What's Johnny doing here?
强尼来这儿干嘛
I told him not to show his face unless--
我告诉他不要来,除非...
Unless he broke up with his girlfriend.
除非他跟女朋友分手了
And now he's here, showing his face,
所以现在他来了,有脸来见你了
which means--You can't know that for sure.
也就是说,你又不能确定
Fine. Tell me one other reason he could possibly be in here.
好吧,那你告诉我他来这的其他原因
He needs Han to solve a complex math problem?
他需要憨帮忙解一道复杂的数学题
Max!
麦克斯
Max, it's pretty obvious that he's in here
麦克斯,显然他来这儿
because he broke up with his girlfriend "Cassandra"
是因为他跟女友卡桑德拉分手了
I mean, what else could it be?
不然还有什么原因啊
When I had millions of dollars,
当我还是个百万富翁时
I had no idea why guys were coming to see me.
我无法确定男人来找我的真正原因
"Do they want me, or do they want my money?"
"他们是爱我呢,还是爱我的钱呢"
But you have nothing!
但你一无所有
So basically that just leaves you.
所以也只能是因为你这个人了
Way to puff me up before I go through that door.
在我出去前,你这话还真是够"鼓舞人心"啊
This is so exciting.
好兴奋啊
Will you stop? Don't be such a girl.
你有完没完,别跟怀春少女似的
Hair? Teeth? Anything?
头发,牙齿,有哪里不好吗
You're good.
没问题的
Wait. More.
等等,开大点
Really? Trust me.
真的吗?相信我
Oh, uh, hey, Johnny. When did you get here?
强尼,你什么时候过来的
Uh, just now.
就刚刚
I, uh--I came here because I want to tell you something.
我之所以过来是有话要对你说
Yes?
什么话
Max, I think you and I have something special.
麦克斯,我觉得咱俩的情谊很特别
And I don't want to lose that.
我不想失去它
So I came down here to ask...
所以我来问你一句
Even though it didn't work out, can we still be friends?
即使做不成情侣,我们还能做朋友吗
What?
什么
You have got to be kidding!
你开什么玩笑
What's going on over there, Caroline?
卡洛琳,发生什么事了
My friend Johnny and I have no idea what you're upset about.
我和我的朋友强尼完全不知道你在不爽什么
I was just reacting to the news that we're out of pie.
我在不爽店里的派居然没有了
I really cannot believe it.
真是让人难以置信
I totally thought it would go a different way.
跟我想的完全不一样
Caroline...
卡洛琳
Why don't you go over there to the pie carrousel and mourn the loss of our pie?
你为什么不去放派的转盘那儿,好好哀悼一下我们失去的派呢
So, we're cool?
那我们没事吧
Yeah, we're cool. Why wouldn't we be?
对,没事,为什么会有事呀
We never dated or anything like that.
我们又没有正式约过会啥的
Of course we're friends.
当然是朋友啦
I am so relieved.
这让我如释重负
So, uh, you gonna go back to busting my balls, like always?
所以你还会像以前一样用拳猛击我的蛋蛋吗
Yes.
会呀
We're such good friends, I might just...bust them with my feet!
我们关系好到我都恨不得...用脚狠踹你的蛋蛋
Good morning.
早安
I'm trying to send out a get-to-know-us email blast for the cupcake business.
我想把介绍我们蛋糕店的广告邮件群发出去
But your wi-fi is so slow.
但是你的无线网慢得要死
Don't tell me-- tell Cathyhome17, whoever and wherever she is.
跟我说没用,跟"凯丝家十七号"抱怨去,反正我不认识她
Okay, well, I'm just going to run down to the coffee place and send it.
好吧,反正我要去楼下用咖啡店的网发了
Do you approve?
你觉得呢
Nice job. The font's pretty.
干得不错,字体挺漂亮
You just gave me a compliment?
你刚是在夸奖我吗
I knew it-- you're depressed.
我就知道,你心里难受
You're so depressed about you and Johnny just being friends,
只能跟强尼做朋友,让你心里难受到
you don't even have the energy to be you.
连做自己的精力都没有了
What? The font is pretty.
瞎说什么,字体的确漂亮呀
Oh, honey, do you want a hug?
天啊,亲爱的,想来个爱的抱抱吗
I'm fine. How could you be fine?
我没事。你怎么可能没事
The man was so into you, he painted a billboard of the two of you kissing.
这个男人曾经这么喜欢你,他在广告看板上画了你俩的接吻图
And now he just wants to be friends?
而现在他却只想跟你做朋友
Please call in sick to your babysitting job and take to the bed.
别去当保姆了,打个电话请病假,然后上床睡觉吧
Whenever I used to get depressed, I'd take to the bed.
以前每当我不开心,我就去床上赖着
One time, I took to the bed for a week.
有一次,我在床上赖了整整一周
Listen, unlike you, Jane Austen, I will never take to the bed.
听着,我不像你,简·奥斯汀,我绝对不会卧床不起
Giving in to feelings is for rich people.
有钱人才有空玩失恋
Regular people just have to get up, get drunk, and go fulfill their babysitting duties.
普通人只能起床,灌醉自己,然后去尽他们保姆的本分
Max, take to the bed.
麦克斯,去床上睡觉吧
Look, this is my pattern, okay?
这就是我的套路可以了吧
I fall for the wrong guy,
我爱上不该爱的人
I find out they're with a girl, a bottle, or a needle, and I move on.
发现他们跟女人,酒精,毒品纠缠不清,我唯有抽离
And sometimes I use a bottle to help me do it...or a needle or a girl.
所以有时我也借助酒精帮忙,或者是毒品,或女人
But when I'm done, I'm done.
但我一旦看开,就真的放下了
That's it?
就这样
You're just over it?
你就能放下了吗
I'm still sad because Kyle Enright
我至今还放不下凯尔·恩莱特
didn't invite me on his private jet to Mykonos for his 12th birthday.
没有邀请我乘坐他的私人飞机去米科诺斯岛过他十二岁生日这件事
Well, not me.
我不一样
Just flip a switch and those feelings are gone.
只要按个开关,那些感觉就消失殆尽
I only have two switches in my life--
我人生只有两个开关
one turns off my emotions,
一个关掉我的情绪
the other makes a car bounce.
另一个能让"车震"动
Okay, I better go.
好吧,我该走了
If you get there after 10:30, you can't hear yourself think
十点半过后去,会被吵的事都做不了
over the sounds of people skyping to the Philippines.
会有一堆跟自己菲律宾老乡玩语聊的人
Max, are you sure you're all right?
麦克斯,你确定你没事吗
Max.
麦克斯
Are you about to come over here and soft-touch me?
你是想过来轻抚,爱抚我吗
I want to so bad. Leave!
我超级想。快滚蛋
Go to the coffee place. Soft-touch the barista.
去咖啡店,轻抚做咖啡的去
Excuse me, Miss.
打扰一下,小姐
You keep your door open like that, this rat's probably going to get inside.
你这样门户大开,这只老鼠很可能会趁机溜进去哦
Don't worry. You should see the size of my cat.
你放心,我家的猫更大只
What are you doing here?
你来这儿干嘛
I knew you'd be home for another hour, so I brought you coffee.
我知道你还有一个小时才出门,所以我给你买了杯咖啡
And I wanted to say...
我想说
Thanks for understanding the situation.
感谢你能理解我们的状况
Hey, you don't need to get all
你不必搞什么
"Hallmark presents: Johnny Soft Eyes" on me.
"贺曼出品,强尼牌温柔眼神"
Okay? You're not my type, anyway.
行吗,况且你又不是我的菜
You're a bartender who's close to liquor all night and your not an alcoholic.
你只是个整晚守着酒的酒保而已,而且你还不嗜酒
So clearly you don't know how to seize an opportunity.
显然你不是懂得把握机会的人
Yes, I do.
其实我懂
This is where you join in birthday song with your sweet-ass saxophone.
你从这里加入,用你美妙的萨克斯风来吹奏这生日歌
Han, I like you, brother,
憨,我喜欢你,兄弟
but I played with everyone from Marvin Gaye to the gay Marvins.
但我也跟大牌合作过,马文·盖伊到马文基佬
They never made it--a little bit ahead of their time.
不过马文基佬未能成名,他们生错了时代
But if you don't mind a professional opinion, man,
如果你不介意听听专业意见的话...
you've got to put some heart into this thing.
你的音乐需要更用心,放入感情去做啊
But my mother always say to run away from heart-- only the head can make music.
可我母亲总是让我不要放感情,只有脑子才能做出好音乐
Han, your mother sounds like one cold--
憨,你母亲听上去像个冷酷...
Don't you talk about my mama!
不许你这样说我老妈
Hey, Earl. What's up?
厄尔,怎么啦
I just got threatened by a man who gets carded at Pixar movies.
我刚被看儿童电影都会被查年龄的人给恐吓了
Max, great news-- that email blast I sent out this morning worked.
麦克斯,好消息,我今早发出去的邮件广告有成果了
I just got us a big cupcake job at some event place called The Gold Space Loft.
我帮咱们拉了一笔大单子,在某个叫藏金阁的地方
Last time I was at the Gold Space Loft,
上次我去藏金阁时
I went to a poetry slam, and I wound up slamming a poet.
是去诗歌"辩"论,结果跟一个诗人"变"到床上了
They need 100 cupcakes by tomorrow night.
他们明晚要一百个蛋糕
And because I'm a genius, and also because it's such short notice--
由于我是个天才,同时也因为时间紧急
but mostly because I'm a genius-- I got them up to $500.
但大部分是因为我是个天才,我把价格涨到了五百
It's a cool group art show-- very Williamsburg, very pot brownie.
是一个很酷的团体艺术展,本土特色与大♥麻糕点兼备
And Johnny has a piece in it.
而且强尼也有作品展出
And since you flipped your switch, I figured it'd be fine.
反正你关掉了你的开关,我想应该没问题
No way. I can't make 100 cupcakes in a day.
不行,我一天做不出一百个蛋糕
Max, I know it's a lot of work, but I'll do whatever I can to help.
麦克斯,我知道这费时费力,但我会尽我所能去帮你的
This is a really big opportunity for us.
这对咱俩来说是一次大机会
I kissed Johnny.
我跟强尼接吻了
What? When?
什么,何时
He came by the apartment right after you left.
你前脚踏出公寓,他后脚就进来了
I was only gone 20 minutes.
我才离开了二十分钟
What'd you do--shine a bat symbol on your vagina?
你是在下阴弄了个召唤蝙蝠侠标志吗
Stop acting like I wanted it to happen.
别说得好像我很希望这事发生一样
I didn't want it to happen. I'm lucky we just kissed.
我也不想这样,幸好我们只是接吻了
My pants kept saying, "Take me off!"
我的裤子一直在狂喊"快扒我"
And I'm like, "No, pants."
我怒吼"不行,贱♥人"
I'm telling you, I almost couldn't help myself.
告诉你,我当时差点把持不住
I don't understand.
我不明白
I thought you said you were done with him.
我以为你说你已经对他没感觉了
What happened to your pattern?
你的套路扔到九霄云外了吗
Telling people I have a pattern is part of the pattern.
告诉别人我的套路也是我套路的一部分
Then I just go and do whatever I want.
然后我就随心所欲想干嘛就干嘛
I knew it, I thought it, I should have said it-- girls cannot be friends with guys.
我早就知道,我早就猜到,我早就该把话说出口:男女之间就不可能有纯友谊
Yeah, well, you also knew he was coming in here to tell me he broke up with his girlfriend.
是啊,你还"知道"他来找我是想告诉我,他跟他女朋友分手了呢
So you can suck it.
你省省吧
Did he say he was going to break up with her?
那他是要跟女朋友分手吗
We didn't get into it.
我们没说到这个
We weren't really using our mouths for talking.
我们的嘴巴当时很忙,好吗
What do you think's going to happen?
那你觉得接下来会发生什么
I don't know.
我不知道
All I know is it's not going to happen at a public art show in front of him and his beautiful, cool British girlfriend.
不会在一个公开的艺术展发生什么,也不会在他们一起时发生任何事
Max, you don't even have to see them.
麦克斯,你根本不用见到他们
We'll get there early, we'll drop off the cupcakes, and be gone before any of the artists even show up.
我们早早去那儿,把蛋糕放下,在艺术家们出现之前,就功成身退了
Great. I'm going home tonight after my ten-hour waitress shift,
很好,姐连上十个小时班,晚上下班回家
to stay up all night and bake 100 cupcakes for a guy I kissed who has a girlfriend.
还得通宵烤一百个小蛋糕,就为了一个背着女友和我接吻的男人
Beep. Ooh, what's that? My self-esteem just flatlined.
哔,什么声音,原来是我的自尊阵亡的声音
Yeah, it's this way.
对,往这儿走
I smell patchouli and pretension.
我闻到一股广藿香和自命不凡的味道
Why are you walking so slow?
你干嘛走得小心翼翼
Because I'm carrying our cupcake future,
因为我拿着的是我们的未来
and I don't want half of our future's frosting to be on top of the box.
我可不想我们未来的一半糖霜沾到盒子顶上
Relax. We still have time.
别紧张,我们还有时间
Oh, hello.
你好
Welcome to space blast art attack.
欢迎来到狂轰滥炸艺术展
The gallery won't be open for, like, an hour.
画廊还有大概一个小时才开门迎客
Actually, we're here delivering the cupcakes.
其实我们是来送小蛋糕的
We're looking for someone named Traivor.
我们想找崔毁
And I'm looking for Traivor's mom, to ask her why she named a person Traivor.
我是来找崔毁他妈,想问问为什么会取这么个名字
Traive!
小崔
You girls can set up inside.
你们俩先进来弄吧
He's the one with the super-tall hat.
戴着个超级高帽的人就是他
I love galleries.
我爱画廊
My father and I had an art foundation.
我父亲和我曾有一个艺术基金会
We taught blind kids how to do ceramics.
用来教盲童陶艺
Why didn't you just buy them eyes?
这么有钱直接给他们买眼睛就好啦
Let's put them here.
把蛋糕放这儿
This art show is ridiculous--
这个艺术展真可笑
someone named Traivor, a dreamcatcher with buzzwords stuck in it.
一个叫崔毁的人,捕梦网里塞着各种流行语
And you.
还有你
Why would he hang that picture of us if he still has a girlfriend?
他还没跟女朋友分手,为什么要把我俩的画挂出来
Maybe he went home and broke up with her after he kissed you.
或许在你俩接吻后,他回去就分手了呢
The writing is literally on the wall.
正所谓白纸黑字,有凭有据啊
Oh, no, no, no. I'm not falling for you again.
不,不,我不会再相信你了
Let's just get our money and go.
咱们把钱收一收快闪吧
Grown lady dressed like a doll, we can't find tall hat,
这位装萝莉的大姐,我们找不到高帽子男
and we need to get paid for the cupcakes and leave.
麻烦结下蛋糕钱,我们好走人
Leave? What are you talking about.
走人,你们在说什么啊
You're serving the cupcakes. Pardon?
你们得负责端蛋糕。什么
Well, why do you think we're paying you $500 for cupcakes?
不然我们为什么要付你们五百大洋
Because my friend's a genius.
因为我朋友实在是个天才
This is new information.
这个消息太突然了
We need to talk to someone. Traive!
我们得跟人商量一下,小崔
Oh, no. Traive is busy installing his ice penis.
不行,小崔正忙着弄冰雕阳♥具呢
I could get someone else on the show committee to help.
我帮你找另一个负责人吧
Cashandra!
卡珊德拉
What's his girlfriend doing here?
她女朋友在这儿干嘛
Oh, God!
天啊
What if soft eyes wussed out and told her what happened?
万一温柔眼露馅全招了怎么办
Does she look mad? No, she looks amazing.
她看起来火冒三丈吗?她看起来明艳照人
Max, hello.
麦克斯,你好呀
We met that one time on the street.
我们有次在街上见过
Cashandra, Johnny's girlfriend.
我是卡珊德拉,强尼的女朋友
Oh, hi, hi. I'm Johnny's friend.
你好你好,我是强尼的朋友
We're just friends.
我们只是朋友
Hi, "Cassandra." I'm Caroline.
你好 "卡桑德拉",我是卡洛琳
I was with Max on the street.
那天我也跟麦克斯在一起
And all day yesterday.
昨天一天是
We were together every minute.
我们每时每刻都在一起
It's Cash-andra, actually.
其实我叫卡珊德拉
But everyone calls me Cash.
但人人都叫我卡珊
And you're Max's business partner, right?
你是麦克斯的商业伙伴,对吗
Yeah, but she makes her own decisions.
对,但她的所作所为我从不干涉
Right. Well, let's just get to it, shall we?
好,咱们开始吧,好吧
I'm a bleeder.
我是新手哦
It's brilliant it all worked out with the cupcakes.
请你们来做小蛋糕真是个好主意
Excuse me?
什么意思
Well, I told Traive to hire you for the show.
是我让小崔请你们来的
Johnny cannot stop talking about your cupcakes, Max.
麦克斯,强尼一直对你的小蛋糕赞不绝口
"Max's cupcakes are so moist."
"麦克斯的小蛋糕水水的"
"Max's cupcakes are delicious."
"麦克斯的小蛋糕超好吃"
He loves your cupcakes.
他爱死你的小蛋糕了
Yeah, yeah.
是啊,是啊
But just like in a casual way.
他只是随口说说
I mean, he barely even touched them.
我是说,他都没验过货呢
So, um, I'm a bit busy getting ready for the show.
我要准备艺术展,先失陪了
Why don't you put your little cupcakes on these trays,
你们可以先把小蛋糕放在盘子上
and when people start coming in, circulate, right?
当客人来时你们就走起,知道吗
Circulate, girls, circulate.
走起,姑娘们,走起
Well, that wasn't uncomfortable.
这太让人不爽了
Come on, let's bolt before Johnny gets here,
快点,趁强尼还没来,咱们赶紧撤
while I at least have a shred of my dignity.
在我尊严还没分崩离析前就走
We can't just bail out of our first big job.
我们不能失信于我们第一笔大生意
If we do, people will think we're flakes.
如果我们走了,人们会觉得我们不可靠
And that'll spread faster through Williamsburg than knit hats and herpes.
这消息会立马传遍威廉斯堡,比针织帽和疱疹流行的还快
Hey, you ladies know where the wine goes?
你们知道酒放哪儿吗
Right here. Yeah.
直接放这儿吧。对
No! Just, uh, not the wine. The wine's mine.
住手,不许拿酒,酒是我的
Just serving cupcakes.
我只供应蛋糕
I've been listening in on Cashandra and her girlfriends' conversations,
我一直在偷听卡珊德拉和她的朋友说话
and I don't think she knows anything happened between you two.
我觉得她对你俩的事情完全不知情
I also learned she's a dancer, her lip gloss is from Kiehl's,
我还知道她是个舞者,她的唇膏用的契尔氏
and she's school chums with Adele.
她和爱黛儿还是舍友
Not the Adele.
不会是那个"爱黛儿"吧
Damn it! Could she be any cooler?
靠,她还能再牛点吗
I want her to be my girlfriend.
我想让她当我的女朋友
I wouldn't break up with her for me.
我一定不会为了我这种人而跟她分手
Hi. I'm here.
我来了
Great. I was hoping tonight would get weirder.
很好,我还盼着今晚能更糟点呢
I had no idea.
我完全不知情
She did it to surprise me.
她这么做是为了给我个惊喜
And she did-- I'm surprised.
她做了,我惊了
I am so sorry.
真的很抱歉
You have a girlfriend. Why are you kissing Max?
你都有女朋友了,干嘛还亲麦克斯
You told her?
你告诉她了
Oh, oh, I'm sorry.
是啊,抱歉
Would the more subtle way be to paint a picture and hang it on the wall for all to see?
难道挂一张咱俩接吻的画像示众会更低调点吗
Are you insane?
你疯了吗
Could we have a moment, please?
我们俩能单独聊聊吗
Fine.
好吧
I'll be over there near the ice penis.
我会在冰雕阳♥具附近等
Look, I am so sorry.
听着,我很抱歉
If I had known Cash was going to ask you to do all of this, I would have told you.
如果我知道卡珊要请你们来干活,我肯定会事先告诉你
And why would you choose to hang that?
你为什么选择把这幅画挂出来
'Cause it's my favorite piece.
因为这是我最喜欢的一幅
Is there any way she could know what happened?
她有可能知道发生了什么吗
No.
不可能
Oh, my God. Your lips. Split up.
天啊,你的丰唇。分开分开
I can smell the sex from across the room.
我在另一头都能闻到你们的情欲味
No-whoa-whoa! I need all those.
不行,我得留着喝
So what? Is she still your girlfriend?
所以呢,她还是你的女朋友吗
Max, it's complicated.
麦克斯,这很复杂
What, are we on Facebook?
怎么了,我们现在是玩脸书吗
It is complicated.
这事就是很复杂
Cash and I have been together two years, and when--
我和卡珊已经在一起两年了
Two years?
两年了
Jeez, I'm a home wrecker.
天啊,我就个小三
Adele will probably write a song about me.
爱黛尔没准还会写首歌说我呢
You're not a homewrecker.
你不是小三
I am. Johnny!
我是!强尼
You've got some folks.
你的朋友来了
Circulate, Max, circulate.
走起,麦克斯,走起
That's it. This is over.
够了,咱俩结束了
That--us on the wall-- never happens again.
画上那种事,再也不会发生
I lied. I can't be your friend.
我撒谎了,我无法和你做朋友
I was trying to be cool, but I'm not cool.
我也想跟她一样酷,但我真不酷
I don't know Adele.
我可不认识爱黛儿
What just happened over there?
刚才你俩说什么了
Did he tell you he's breaking up with his girlfriend?
他是不是说要和女朋友分手了
No. What's wrong with you?
不,你是怎么回事
You haven't been right about anything?
每件事都判断失误
I told him we are done, and that's over, okay?
我告诉他我们玩完了,结束了,知道吗
They've been together two years.
人家都在一起都两年了
And I know one thing about me--
我这个人有个特点
I may pick the wrong guys,
或许我会选错人
but when I hear another woman is involved,
可只要事情演变成多角关系
I am done.
我立马走人
This is truly the end of my pattern.
我的套路真的到此为止
We have to go--I kissed Johnny again.
咱们真的得走了,我们又接吻了
What? Max, you said you were going to the bathroom.
什么,麦克斯,你说你要上厕所
I did. And so did he.
是啊,他也去了
It's a unisex bathroom-- emphasis on the sex.
那是无"性"别厕所,"性"呢
We have to go.
我们得马上走
I'm a little drunk and out of control.
我有点儿醉了,没有自制力
Traive said we won't get paid until every single one of the cupcakes is gone.
小崔说除非小蛋糕都没了,否则坚决不结账
So we're stuck here. Fine.
所以我们被困在这儿了。好吧
I shall go circulate.
那我走起
No. You cannot be trusted.
不,你信不过
Next thing I know, you'll be doing him behind the ice penis.
没准下次你们就在冰雕阳♥具那搞起来了
I'm telling you, I am done.
相信我,一切就此结束了
You told me that five minutes ago.
你五分钟前就这么说了
Well, you told me he was breaking up with his girlfriend three times.
你还跟我说了三遍,他会跟他女朋友分手呢
So I guess we learned tonight that you know nothing about him, and I know nothing about me.
所以今晚我们学到了,你不了解强尼,而我也不了解自己
Cheers!
干杯
Wait for me.
等等
Hello, girls.
姑娘们
Traivor told me you were looking to get paid.
崔毁告诉我,你们想快点结账走人
But just to be clear, you can't actually be paid until all the cupcakes are gone.
但先声明,除非所以小蛋糕都没了,否则你们是拿不到钱的
And do me a favor, love, put a chocolate aside for Johnny.
帮我个忙,亲爱的,留个巧克力味的给强尼
He loves chocolate.
他喜欢巧克力
He'll eat a vanilla if it's available, but he always goes back to chocolate.
虽然有机会时会吃吃香草味,但他的最爱始终是巧克力
I don't think he's going to break up with her.
我认为他不会跟她分手
Really?
真的吗
You have the accuracy rate of a magic 8 ball.
你的准确度就跟魔法八号球一样
Look at her. She's so pretty.
瞧她,多美丽动人
And bitchy. And... More pretty than bitchy.
贱格无♥耻。还是美丽多多,贱格少少
Oh, God. She just zipped his hoodie and fixed his hair-- that's a couple.
天啊,她为他连帽衫拉拉链,还整理头发,那才是情侣
What they have is real.
他们才是真情
They are a couple-- Johnny and Cash.
他们才是一对,强尼和卡珊
Oh-ho, crap! Johnny Cash!
太牛了,强尼·卡什
They're an institution.
他们天生就是一起的
I never had a chance.
我从来没有机会
Forget the money-- let's just go.
别管钱了,咱们走吧
Mm-mmm. We are staying till these cupcakes are gone.
不要,我们要坚持到蛋糕都没了
I am not leaving with no dignity and no money.
我不能没钱没尊严地走掉
Fine, I'll circulate a couple more times.
好吧,我去多转几圈
Wait a minute. They said they had to be gone,
等等。他们说小蛋糕要全没了
but they didn't say who had to make them gone.
但他们没说要怎么把它们弄没了
We eat them and go!
我们吃完,然后走人
You're doing it! I rescued you from the gutter.
你非做不可,我可是把你从贫民窟中救回来
Uh, well, that's not entirely accura--
这种说法不准...
Max, wake up. It's 3:00.
麦克斯,醒醒,都下午三点了
We forgot to set the alarm.
我们忘记定闹钟了
Oh, I never thought waking up in bed with another woman with...
我真没想到跟另一个女人在床上醒来
frosting on my boobs, would be this depressing.
胸部还粘满奶油,感觉会这么不爽
How are you feeling about it all today?
你今天感觉怎么样
Do you want to talk?
想谈谈吗
No. Good.
不。好吧
Where's your purse?
你的钱包呢
I'm going to take some of the money we made last night and get coffee.
我要拿点昨晚赚的钱去买咖啡,
And yes-- I am walking down the street like this,
没错,我就是要这副样子走出去
because after last night, I am impenetrable to shame.
因为昨晚过后,羞耻心对我来说就是浮云
Wait, we don't have any money.
慢着,咱们没有钱
Yes, we do. No, we don't.
不,我们有。是的,我们没有
We did, but we don't.
我们有过,但花掉了
I bought something with it.
我拿它卖了点东西
I bought this.
我买了这个
You carried that home? Where was I?
你自己把这幅画搬回家的,那我♥干嘛去了
Three blocks ahead of me, telling strangers about your pattern.
走在我三个街区前,到处跟陌生人说你的套路
I saw you and Johnny just hanging there, and I knew what I had to do.
我看到你和强尼就这么晾着,我就知道我该做点什么
So what, am I supposed to hang that up?
然后呢,把它继续挂墙上吗
No. You're supposed to destroy it.
不,你应该亲手毁掉它
You need to get over him, so you're going to kick this,
你得忘掉他,所以你得一脚踹飞这个
and then you're going to kick him once and for all.
然后你就会一脚把他踹出你的世界
You want to break your pattern?
你想打破你的套路吗
Start by breaking the painting.
先从打破这副画开始吧
That is a complete waste of money.
真是他妈的浪费钱
I may have been wrong about everything else about Johnny,
或许之前我对强尼的判断都错了
but I'm right about this. Come on.
但在这件事上我是对的,快点
Kick it.
踹啊
I can't.
我做不到
Give me your foot. What?
把脚给我。什么
Lift up your leg.
抬起你的脚
Yay! You did it.
耶,你做到了
Good for you!
干得好
You broke a painting and maybe your pattern.
你打破了这幅画,或许你的套路也就此结束
I really liked him.
我真的很喜欢他
I know.
我知道
I slept through my day job, so what the heck?
反正白天的工作都睡过了,无所谓了
I think I will take to the bed or whatever.
我要上床赖着或干点别的了
Just for like 20 minutes.
二十分钟就好
I'll set my alarm and then I'll get up and get ready for work.
我把闹钟定好,然后起床,出门工作
Max, please, I feel like we need a hug.
麦克斯,拜托,我觉得我们应该抱抱
We just slept together! You women are so needy.
"睡"完还要抱抱,你们女人也要求太多了吧


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