嘿 昨晚看QI(脱口秀)了没?
Hey, you men watch QI last night?
有啊老兄 那个斯蒂芬·弗雷真不厚道
Yeah, bro, that Stephen Fry's a bad man.
没看 那会儿我在上大键琴课 不记得了?
Nah, I studied for my harpsichord lesson, innit?
哦 对 对 对
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
走开
Go away.
我说走开
I said go away.
没人在家
Nobody home.
好吧! 就来了!
All right! I'm coming!
这里是疯人调频 精神病患者的首选电台
This is Maniac FM, the number one station for psychopaths
专为全国范围内 躲在暗处
tenderly stroking potential murder weapons
轻抚凶器的同道们服务
in dimly lit lairs, nationwide.
为了带给大家好心情
And now to get you in the mood,
下面带来"摇摆不定男生"
here's the new
的最新单曲
single from JLS.
- 你好啊 老爷爷? - 包里都有啥?
- All right, Grandad? - What's in the bag?
嘿 包里带了啥啊 老爷爷?
Hey, what's in the bag, Grandad?
来啊 老疯子 跟我们说说二战的事儿
Come on, battyboy, tell us about World War II.
你们懂什么二战?
What would you know about World War II?
嘿 老兄 我看过电影
Hey, bruv, I seen the film.
汤姆·汉克斯比你厉害多了
Tom Hanks done more than you, bruv.
他能把你的腿拧到眼睛这儿
He'd shank you in your eye.
而且他还演了阿甘正传
And he done Forrest Gump.
跟他一比 你就像个娘炮
Hanks makes you look like a pussy.
- 一个老娘娘腔 - 两个老娘娘腔
- An old pussy. - Two old pussies.
- 不 不 让我来 - 三个老娘娘腔!
- Nah, nah, I got it. - Three old pussies!
三个老娘娘腔拎着一个购物袋
Three old pussies with a shopping bag.
- 娘娘腔 - 我一进门就叫警♥察♥来
- Pussy. - I'm gonna call the police when I get in.
敢这么做你就死定了 听到没?
You do that and you're dead, yeah?
死定了 你个老傻瓜!
Dead, you stupid old man!
死掉... 就像这样...
Dead... like this...
老爷爷
Grandad.
嘿 嘿
Heh-heh.
你死定了 老头儿!
You're dead, Granddad!
这老蠢货还养猫!
The silly old man got a cat!
是的 国王 我... 我给你买♥♥了晚餐
Yes, King, I... I've got your dinner.
马上来 别担心
Now, don't you worry.
来吧 来 真是个好小伙子
Come on. Come on, there's a good boy.
谁在那儿?
Who's there?
哦 上帝啊 上帝 不
Oh, God. God, no.
不要!
No!
千丝万缕 第一季第一集
是杰克·克劳斯探长吗?
Inspector Jack Cloth?
哪位找?
Who wants to know?
安妮·奥德曼(姓音似老头子)
Anne Oldman.
他在哪儿?
So, where is he?
安妮·奥德曼 你的新警长
Anne Oldman, your new DC.
我的新警长可不是老头子
My new DC's not an old man.
据我所知 那是个以第一名成绩
It's some top-of-her-class Hendon graduate,
从密德萨斯学院毕业
all tits and ambition,
有胸有野心的家伙
from what I've heard.
我就是安妮·奥德曼警长
I'm DC Anne Oldman.
我的证件上有特写
Here's a close-up of my credentials.
局里的人给了我你家地址
Boys down the station gave me your address.
进来吧
Come in.
你来这儿干嘛 奥德曼?
Why are you here, Oldman?
- 应该是奥德曼 先生 - 什么?
- Old-man, sir. - What?
你读成"欧德曼"了
It's pronounced, "Old man".
你来这儿有何贵干 奥德曼?
Why are you here, Oldman?
为了冉当地区发生的谋杀案
Murder on the Rundowne Estate.
受害者是名授勋的战斗英雄
Victim was a decorated war hero.
很显然 参加过敦刻尔克撤退
Dunkirk, apparently.
- 是位老人家? - 是的
- An old man? - Yes.
你干嘛不直接打电♥话♥?
Why didn't you just ring?
我们打过 但你的手♥机♥一定是
We did, but your phone must have been...
关机了
off.
民兵组织派你来的?
So, the ACC sent you?
民兵组织和退伍军人管理部门
ACC and the DAC,
警长办公室也很急 希望我们尽快解决
SO's OS so they need us ASAP.
监控录像呢? DNA有吗?
CCTV? DNA?
没 管监控的擅离职守了
N-O. VSU's gone AWOL.
我的老天
OMFG.
真该死
SH1T.
听说我们备受爱戴的副局长汤姆·波士
I hear our beloved Assistant Chief Constable Tom Boss
以前推荐过你
has been grooming you for some time.
绝不能相信网上认识的任何人
Never trust anyone you meet on the Internet.
他听起来很不耐烦 说会在现场和我们碰头
He sounded impatient. Said he'd meet us at the scene.
那你来开车吧
Then let's just cut to you driving a car.
是可预防的谋杀 完毕
Preventable killing, over.
再重复一遍 是可预防的谋杀 完毕
Repeat, preventable killing, over.
这家伙看起来很强硬 对吧?
This guy looks uncompromising, innit?
对 很不安 是的 焦虑不安一团糟
Yeah, troubled, yeah. All haunted and shit.
看起来这家伙还没开始信任自己的新搭档
Looks like the type of guy don't trust his new partner yet.
我打赌他马上就要跳一小步
Bet he does a little skip in a minute.
这才对嘛!
Yeah!
受害者是艾伯特·托马斯·斯塔福德
Victim's an Albert Thomas Stafford,
二战老兵
World War II veteran.
八十五岁 一周没出门 独居 家里养一只猫
85 years old. Not been seen all week. Lived alone. One cat.
喜欢看电影金色池塘
Liked On Golden Pond.
偏爱抹黄油的烤全麦面包
Partial to Soreen malt loaf, lightly toasted with butter.
收藏每日镜报前主编
Collected autographed photos
也是CNN犀利哥皮尔斯·摩根的签名照
of former Daily Mirror editor and CNN irritant Piers Morgan.
很少乘坐公共交通工具
Rarely used public transport.
喜欢在周围步行
Preferred to get around by walking,
习惯在把全身重量加到另一条腿前
which he did by placing one foot on the ground
先单脚踏地
before transferring his weight to the opposing leg.
不与他人来往
Kept himself to himself.
他身板也一直硬朗 所以这个案子始料未及
Never been found dead before, so this is out of character.
呃 哦 上帝
Eurgh. Oh, God.
给你个有用的建议 手放在兜里
Useful tip, keep your hands in your pockets.
免得碰到什么
Reduces the temptation to touch things.
给你手套 长官
Glove, sir.
来个人把那个关了!
Someone turn that off!
他先前出去采购
He'd been out shopping.
收据显示他在当地宠物店买♥♥了些东西
Receipts indicate several purchases at the local pet shop.
- 有线索吗? - 没有
- Any leads? - No.
只是猫穗草和灭蚤颈圈
Just catnip and a flea collar.
还有一些... 这个
And several... of these.
瑞曼店里标价五美元 买♥♥了十个
Ten for the price of five at Ryman's.
尸体在哪儿?
Where's the body?
在卧室
In the living room.
先生?
Sir?
你要有个强壮的胃才行
You'll need a strong stomach.
那里就像个犯罪现场
It's like a crime scene in there.
哦! 玛丽(作者)
Oh! Mary,
珍珠妈妈(小说 现场与之描述相似)
mother-of-pearl.
- 这边来 欧德忙 - 应该是奥德曼
- Over here, Oldmun. - Oldman.
不再是了(指受害者的惨状)
Not any more.
你身上发生了什么 艾伯特·斯塔福德?
What happened to you, Albert Stafford?
他没法告诉你 他死了 先生
He can't tell you. He's dead, sir.
啊!
ARGH!
哦! 哦! 哦!
Oh! Oh! Oh!
娜塔莎 有什么发现吗?
What have we got, Natasha?
- 咱俩之间? - 对
- Between us? - Yeah.
一段不言而喻但从未曝光的上♥床♥史
An implied but never openly referenced sexual history
和没处理干净的事情
and the suggestion of unfinished business.
关于他的结论?
And him?
不是我的菜 我喜欢的男人就像我喜欢的咖啡
Not my type. I like my men like my coffee.
更苦些
Bitter.
而且也没有被猫啃了一半
And not half-eaten by cats.
艾伯特至少被啃了一个礼拜了
Albert's had been feasting on him for at least a week.
饥饿的猫咪有着贪婪的胃口