《布兰丁城♥堡♥》
第一季 第一集
真不好意思 韦尔比洛夫德
I do apologise, Wellbeloved!
是皇后放的 老爷
It was the Empress, m'lord.
这样啊
Oh, there you are!
消化顺畅 神志清醒
Sound digestion and a clear conscience.
克拉伦斯
'Clarence?'
你究竟是怎么做到的
How the deuce did you do that?
声音跟我妹妹康妮的一样
Sounds like my sister Connie!
安吉拉又在哭了
Angela is in tears. Again.
-谁 -你的外甥女
- Erm...? - Your niece.
距离肥猪展览还有两周的时间 康妮
Two weeks to go till the Fat Pig Show, Connie,
瞧瞧它
and look at her!
我们对你满意吗 很满意
Are we pleased with you? Yes, we are...
非常满意
oh, yes, we are!
等你用你那愚蠢的对话
When you have finished irradiating that pig
赞扬完那头倾国倾城的猪之后
with your imbecilic conversation,
我要跟你谈一谈
I would like a word.
格利高里·帕斯洛-帕斯爵士的猪
Sir Gregory Parsloe-Parsloe's pig,
叫什么名字 "女王"吗
what's her name? The Queen?
在你看来 它没有
She's not, in your opinion...
更肥吧
fatter...?
皇后会拿冠军的 您瞧好吧
Gah, Empress'll be the winner, you'll see.
就像去年和前年一样
Same as last year, and the year before that.
我的老天 亲爱的朋友
Lord, bless my soul, my dear fellow!
你这是要去教堂啊
You're dressed for church!
我要去做礼拜 老爷
I am going to worship, Sir.
在山羊羽毛教堂
At the Church of The Goat and Feathers.
好吧 帮我做个祷告
Ah! Well, say a prayer for me.
谢谢您 老爷
Thank you, Sir.
记住 别扯那些歪诗了
None of your little recitations, mind.
裤子要穿在腿上 盖住肚子
Trousers on legs and billowy portions,
西里尔·韦尔比洛夫德
Cyril Wellbeloved.
别套在头上
Not the head.
我的小妹莉莉是皮卡迪利街上的妓♥女♥*
*Oh, my little sister Lily is a tart in Piccadilly
我的妈妈 也是妓♥女♥ 运气更糟*
*My mother, she's another, worse the luck
我的奶奶也是卖♥♥屁♥股♥的*
*My granny hawks her arse all round the Elephant and Castle
她什么都愿意 只要有*
*There's nothing she won't do to get a...
这就足够了
That'll suffice!
在公共场合酗酒
A disgusting display of public drunkenness!
书♥记♥员 最多能判他多久
Clerk, what's the maximum sentence the court will permit me to impose?
-七天 -十四天 定案
- Seven days. - Fourteen days. Sold.
真♥他♥妈♥扯淡
Oh, bliddy NORA.
对法庭不敬 再加一天
Plus another day for profanity.
但什罗普郡展览快到了
But it's the Shropshire Show,
格利高里爵士 法官大人
Sir Gregory, Sir, your enormity.
我得把老爷的皇后伺候得又壮又肥
His Lordship needs me to keep Empress good and fat...
你家老爷还真是不走运 把他带走
Too ruddy bad for His Lordship. Take him down!
给你 快吃
Here you are. Eat up.
适合女王享用的大餐
A repast fit for a Queen.
通用训猪令
亲爱的 我求你了 就吃这一小勺
Sweetie pie. I entreat you... Just a little spoonful here...
这是香蕉啊
But it's banana...
亲爱的 这是香蕉啊
Darling, it's banana.
西里尔·韦尔比洛夫德都是喂香蕉的
Cyril Wellbeloved swears by banana...
可恶 韦尔比洛夫德到底在哪
Dash it! Where is Wellbeloved?
被拘留了 老爷
Been unavoidably detained, my lord.
他又犯事被抓了
He hasn't got himself locked up, has he?
他怎么偏偏挑了这么个时候坐牢
This is no time for Wellbeloved to be slacking about in custody!
我们需要他
We need him!
就在这会儿 格利高里爵士的猪
Sir Gregory's pig BALLOONS in volume
肯定像气球一样涨起来了
even as we speak.
比奇 这是紧急状况
Beach, this is an emergency.
我允许你恐慌
You have my permission to panic
并到处乱跑乱叫
and run about screaming.
好的 老爷
Very good, my lord.
拜托 赫彻姆勋爵
Oh, Lord Heacham!
我无法理解
I cannot understand the
你怎么不明白 别碰我
difficulty you are having... Don't touch me!
如果你碰我 我就尖叫
If you touch me I shall scream.
我是不会嫁给你的
..Grasping the fact that I am not going to marry you.
你真是个天真的小傻瓜
You're a silly little nonsense, aren't you?
现在 过来亲亲我
Now, come here and kiss me.
可怜的小东西
Poor little scrap.
把它带到什罗普郡肥猪展上
Put her in the Shropshire Show, calling her fat,
人们准会笑掉大牙
people will laugh.
克拉伦斯
Clarence...
克拉伦斯
Clarence!
克拉伦斯 我有事找你
Clarence, I am looking for you!
你在哪里
Where are you?
我有话跟你说
I want to talk to you!'
克拉伦斯
Clarence?'
康妮 太好了 听到你叫我了
Ah, Connie, splendid! Erm... Heard you calling.
找不到你 我就想到了一个很好的点子
Wasn't able to find you, so I thought, what a capital idea to...
把仆人的鞋子到处乱丢吗
Fling the servants' shoes around?
克拉伦斯 我要跟你说件事
Clarence. I NEED to talk to you!
把嘴闭上 这样就不会说废话了
Keep lips shut! It stops the drivel coming out!
安吉拉要跟赫彻姆勋爵解除婚约
What are you going to do about Angela
这事你打算怎么处理
breaking off her engagement to Lord Heacham?
赫彻姆 格利高里爵士的侄子
Heacham! Sir Gregory's nephew!
真是天造地设的一对
It's an eminently suitable match.
可她偏偏喜欢上了
But instead, she professes love
那个招人烦的吉米·贝尔福德
for the unpalatable Jimmy Belford.
我喜欢那小子
Oh, I like him!
但他们不能结婚 这就不用说了
But they can't get married. It's out of the question.
他在非洲 澳大利亚
He's in Africa. Australia.
-美国 -对
- America. - Yes.
他去当牛仔了 我都不知道什么是"牛仔"
He found employment as a "Cowboy" - whatever that is -
但他现在回英格兰了
but he is now back in England.
贝尔福德毫无前途可言
Belford is without prospects!
嫁给他是万万不可的
The marriage to him is not possible!
康妮 我的外甥女太多了
Connie, I've got so many nieces.
你就不能自己处理一下安吉拉的事吗
Can't you sort it out?
我也想 要不是因为长子继承制
Well, of course I could! But for primogeniture,
我能把整个家族都弄得井井有条
I could sort out the entire family.
但谁让你生下来是个男人
But it is you who were born a man,
或者说近乎是个男人 这事得由你来做
or a vague approximation of one. You have to do it.
你要去哪儿
Where are you going?
如果我想打败格利高里爵士
If I'm to defeat Sir Gregory,
就得把皇后喂肥了
I need to inflate the Empress.
你这样拿下巴指着我也没用
And it's no good pointing that chin at me, either.
别再操心那只猪了 管好你的家吧
Forget the pig. Administrate the family.
更糟的是 弗雷迪已经在路上了
Oh, and to top it all, Freddie is on his way.
是你儿子
Your son.
这树也开得太快了
The tree was travelling far too fast.
还逆行呢
And on the wrong side of the road!
-父亲 -白萝卜的热量
- Guv'nor! - Calorific bonus of the turnip...
-还好吗 -只剩两周了 弗雷德里克
- All well? - Two weeks, Frederick.
然后就全完了
Then it's all over.
韦弗尔是公认的权威 但他也没给出答案
Whiffle is the recognised authority, but he has no answer.
我试过泔水 腐烂的梨子
I've tried slops, rotting pears.
它喜欢生了蛆的水果
She loves the fruit that has seen the maggot.
-原来您说的是皇后 -当然了
- We're talking now about the Empress. - Of course!
我的猪病了 它不肯吃东西
M'pig's ill! She won't eat!
上帝
Oh, God!
太糟了
That's terrible.
你什么时候开始关心它的食欲了
Since when did you take an interest in her appetite?
从我出了五十磅 赌它能拿到肥猪奖时起
Since I bet 50 quid on her being fattest pig!
父亲 是这样的 我去了古怪街
Look, Guv'nor, fact is, I find myself in Queer Street.
我给粉红猫俱乐部的一场表演投了点钱
I put a bit of crinkle into a show at The Pink Pussy Club,
因为表演明星是我喜欢的一位小姐
the star being a lady I regard rather highly,
结果这家俱乐部倒闭了