糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S07E01
Part 1
2021年1月2日 14:36
*恐怖都铎 华丽乔治*
*Terrible Tudors, gorgeous Georgians*
*卑劣斯图亚特 邪恶维多利亚*
*Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians*
*悲惨战役 凶残争斗*
*Woeful wars, ferocious fights*
*昏暗古堡 英勇骑士*
*Dingy castles, daring knights*
*恐怖难以言表*
*Horrors that defy description*
*凶狠凯尔特 可怕古埃及*
*Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians*
*凶残维京 冷血罪行 远古的惩罚*
*Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes, punishment from ancient times*
*罗马人 堕落恶心又冷血*
*Romans, rotten, rank, and ruthless*
*穴居人 野蛮残酷不长牙*
*Caveman, savage, fierce and toothless*
*绝妙古希腊 聪明大圣人*
*Groovy Greeks, brainy sages*
*卑鄙又卑微 就是中世纪*
*Mean and measly Middle Ages*
*血腥故事无限多*
*Gory stories we do that*
*且听鼠君对你说*
*And your host a talking rat*
*历史不再是个谜*
*The past is no longer a mystery*
*欢迎收看*
*Welcome to*
糟糕历史
Horrible Histories.
《糟糕历史》为你呈现
Horrible Histories presents...
可怕的音乐家
《糟糕音乐》全新推出 史前的美妙声音
New from Horrible Music, the enchanting sounds of prehistory.
《尼安德特人经典合唱曲》
It's Neanderthal Choral Classics.
在乐器 真正的语言
Before instruments, before real language,
和现代人出现之前
before modern humans,
地球上住着尼安德特人 他们有优美的嗓音
there lived Neanderthals, with their beautiful voice.
随着这些永恒的经典 放松身心吧
Relax and unwind with a selection of timeless classics.
摇滚乐的黄金时代
The golden age of rock.
摇滚与石头的双关
好吧 是石头
Well, rocks.
从众多的俱乐部精选打击乐
From massive club hits...
到萦绕于心的浪漫二重唱
..To haunting romantic duets.
女人
Woman!
莓子
Berries!
尼安德特人特殊的喉咙构造
The unique shape of the Neanderthal throat
加上他们有力的胸腔和巨大的鼻子
combined with their powerful chest and massive noses
使他们能发出令人无法忘怀的声音
creates a sound you'll never forget.
最适合用来唱抚慰孩子的摇篮曲了
Just perfect for soothing lullabies.
*宝宝睡吧*
*baby sleep!*
*宝宝睡吧*
*baby sleep!*
太好了 他在唱歌♥
Yeah! He's singing!
首次编汇于一张专辑内
For the first time on one compilation...
《尼安德特人经典大合唱》
Neanderthal Choral Classics -
世代传唱的绝世之乐
the unique sound that will echo through the ages.
今日订购赠送免费猛犸象放松歌♥曲CD
Order today and get a free mammoth song relaxation CD.
猛犸象
Mammoth!
《尼安德特人经典合唱曲》
Neanderthal Choral Classics.
重磅推出
It's a mammoth hit!
猛犸象与重磅双关
这钱赚得也太容易了
What a racket.
我都能唱得更好
Even I could do better than that.
所以我打算组一个乐队
So I'm starting a band.
我们会成为"尖叫乐队"之后
We'll be the biggest rat sensation
又一超级明星鼠乐队
since The Squeakend.
尖叫乐队
The Squeakend!
我只需要一个名字 一些歌♥
All I need is a name, some songs
还有些乐队成员
and some bandmates.
简单 我能让三只猫在碗柜里打架
Easy! I could have three cats fighting in a cupboard
还叫得比那些尼安德特人轻点
and sound less scary than those Neanderthals.
提醒你一下 以前音乐就是为了吓人的
Mind you, there was a time when music was meant to be scary.
你想去哪 年轻的凯尔特人
Er, where do you think you're off to, young Celt?
苏格兰 公元一世纪
我想去玩斧子
I'm off out to play with my axe.
你的音乐课呢
What about your music lesson?
你的老师随时会来
Your teacher will be here any minute.
-妈妈 -我可不是采上两周泥炭
- Oh, Ma. - I didn't just spend two weeks' peat harvest
换来一只全新的战争号♥角
on a brand-new carnyx war horn
就这么让你挂墙上的
for you to leave it hanging up on the hut wall.
我讨厌这个蠢号♥角
I hate the stupid carnyx.
等你带领部落打罗马人的时候
You'll not be saying that when you've led your tribe
你就不会这么说了 小子
into battle against the Romans with it, wee man.
我们来听下你的练习吧
Now then, let's hear the piece you've been working on.
吹得什么啊
What was that supposed to be?!
这才是听起来应该有的样子
This is how it's supposed to sound.
那真的很吓人
That was absolutely shocking.
谢谢
Cheers.
明白了吗 战争号♥角应该
You see? The carnyx is meant to
让听到它的人都感受到内心的恐惧
strike fear into the heart of whoever hears it.
再来一次
Try again.
更吓人了
You're getting worse!
很好
Well done.
我希望我父母在我小时候能让我学这个
I wish my parents had made me learn when I was a bairn.
一切都不会太迟
It's never too late, you know!
你听上去很吓人
You sound quite dreadful,
但你还是没能让我做噩梦 再来
but you're still not giving me nightmares. Again.
对了 看
That was it! Look!
你的邻居都在往特罗萨克斯跑了
Your neighbours are running for the Trossachs!
你妈妈的耳朵还在流血
And your mother's ears are bleeding.
你做到了
You did that.
闻到了吗 孩子
Smell that, son?
你刚刚吓得我都拉裤子里了
You just made me broon my breeks.
卡尼克斯号♥真的会把人吓出屎来
下周同一时间
Same time next week?
儿子
Oh, son!
你让你的老妈...
You've made your old ma...
很骄傲
..proud.
可怕的音乐家
我们维京人也能很吓人
We Vikings can be pretty terrifying, too,
把我们的敌人吓个半死
and scare the living daylights out of our enemies.
不过不是用音乐
Although not with our music.
我们有时候听的东西可能会让你很惊讶
What we sometimes listen to might surprise you.
英国 公元1000年
奥丁保佑 真是一场胜仗啊
By Odin, what a great battle!
一百个盎格鲁撒克逊人
100 Anglo-Saxons are no match
也比不上一位维京战士
for even one Viking warrior.
这个动作酷毙了
It's so cool when we do that.
村里还有盎格鲁撒克逊人吗
Now, are there any Anglo-Saxons left in the village?
-没有陛下 我们把他们都赶走了 -好
- No, sire. We chased them all away. - Good.
这样的话 你们都准备好嗨起来了吗
Well, in that case, are you ready to party hard?
一 二 一 二 三 四
A-one, a-two, a-one, two, three, four!
会跳的一起来
Join in if you know the moves!
谁在哼哼
Snort!
那是什么声音
What was that noise?
是我的小铃铛吗
Was it my little bell?
再来一遍
Do it again.
又来了
There it was again!
我们不能让任何人知道这些舞步
We cannot have anyone know about these little dances.
陛下别担心 那可能只是来自一位
Don't worry, sire. It was probably the wistful sigh
也想跳舞的祖先神灵渴望的叹息
of an ancestor's spirit, also wanting to throw some shapes.
谁又能怪他们呢
And who can blame them?
这样的话 重新跳起来吧
In which case, rewind!
维京人真的是这样跳的
看 是个撒克逊人
Look, it's a Saxon!
笑死我了 笑死我了
I can't breathe! I can't breathe!
你不能把今晚看到的告诉任何人
You cannot tell anyone what you saw this evening.
别开玩笑了
You're joking!
大家快来围观这些可怕的维京人
Hey, everyone! Come and look at these scary Vikings!
你真的是让我别无选择
You're really leaving me with absolutely no choice in this.
你好残酷
That was harsh.
我们继续吗
Shall we continue?
不不 真是扫兴
No, no. Huge buzzkill.
太让我扫兴了
Huge buzzkill for me.
在家一起甩起来吧
Flail along at home with Now
《这就是我所谓的十四世纪鞭笞歌♥》
That's What I Call... Whipping Songs 14th Century.
*如果你想把自己从罪恶中解救出来*
*Cos if you want to free yourself from sin*
*亲爱的你就应该去好好鞭笞自己*
*Then, baby, you should go and whip yourself.*
这是在整个欧洲
糟糕历史（2009）
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