美剧 | 人力资源（2022） | 导航列表
Welcome to Human Resources.
As a new employee at the most prestigious organization in human relations,
you are about to embark on an amazing adventure.
Life down on Earth can be very complicated,
and that's why people need us.
You'll be assigned your human clients by the tube.
I got Michael Bloomberg? Okay.
You'll have the opportunity to work with creatures in many departments.
Your team members will be Hormone Monsters…
This is so hot. And she hasn't even used her tools yet.
Oh, your wife is texting you about picking up your daughter from school.
Did you want me to respond?
Oh, my God.
The love of your life is proposing to you at the Eiffel Tower.
Honey, Leonardo DiCaprio called.
He wants his blood diamond back.
Hey, Jeremy, there's no reason to stand up yet.
I promise you, you will get off the plane.
And many more.
You are all essential workers who help make humans human,
一周七天 一年五十二周 千年无休
seven days a week, 52 weeks a year, 1,000 years a millennium.
This is Human Resources.
问一下哈 所以这部剧 跟《青春无禁忌》一样吗？
Sorry, just want to clarify. The show's going to be like Big Mouth?
Well, Big Mouth meets The Office is how we sold it.
Oh, I'd watch that.
Hey, Mr. Dick Pinwheel. If not you, who?
老乔 我有没有告诉你 我老婆最近迷上了能量疗法？
Hey, Joe, I tell you my wife is all into energy work now?
哎 老天 -就是啊
Oh, brother. -Yeah, exactly.
She says my "heart chakra" is all clogged up, whatever the fuck that means.
天哪 她就不能让我 安静地看阴♥茎♥曲棍球吗？
It's like, come on, "Can't you just let me watch penis hockey in peace for Christ's sake?"
昨晚那场球赛超精彩 -早上好 先生们
That was a game last night. -Good morning, gentlemen.
Hey, Maury, you heard about that new VR sex app the humans are into?
以前不都是 对着巨♥乳♥挤奶妹的油画 自己撸一管的吗？
Whatever happened to yanking your old dick to an oil painting of a stacked milkmaid?
Those were the days, my friends.
我告诉你 20年后 没人会做♥爱♥了
I'm telling you, in 20 years, nobody's gonna fuck.
拜托 女人发现按♥摩♥棒♥的时候 你们也是这么说的
Oh, please. You guys said the same thing when women discovered vibrators.
Yeah, well, I don't know. It put an end to fucking in my house.
Hey, Maury. What kind of cake do you want for your birthday?
What's that? Oh no, it's not my birthday.
It's on the office calendar. Don't be weird.
Ugh! Why do we always have to have treats for birthdays
like we're all a bunch of fucking children?
Sorry for trying to do something nice.
What a bitch I am, getting you cake.
Oh, I fucking hate this job.
Becca, I'm afraid we're going to have to put you on a bed rest
for the last month of your pregnancy.
The fuck you are!
Excuse me? -Uh, sweetie--
I start arguing a case on Monday,
and I'll queef this baby out in the jury box before I'd miss it.
她说到做到的 医生 -我需要别的选择
She'll do it, Doc. -I need another option.
Well, there are no other options.
We need to make sure your water doesn't break early.
Oh no! What if the baby doesn't survive?
Or what if it does, and it's born with a pointy head,
and it can only wear Santa hats?
What a terrible life!
Excuse me. Excuse me. Yes, floor is mine.
Tito's crazy Santa hat fixation aside,
this is a big fucking deal.
I know. That's what I'm saying.
Speaking from the point of view of ambition,
how's Becca supposed to make partner while she's stuck on bed rest?
And logically, this makes no sense.
Hypertension doesn't even run in her family.
Who cares about that shit?
They're never gonna fuck again
once that baby turns her pussy into Bolognese.
Connie, gonna need you to chill out.
艾美 哟 你都记下来了吧？
Emmy, yo. You're getting all this, right?
呃 是啊 记着呢
Uh… Yep. Got it. Gettin' it.
"Pussy Bolognese." We got it.
别担心 康妮 床单还是会滚的
Don't worry, Connie, they will have sex.
It'll just be less frequent and not as good.
跟巴里嘿♥咻♥本来就不是很爽 也不是很频繁了 不是吗？
And the sex with Barry already wasn't very good or frequent, was it?
"I'm Barry. I always announce when I'm about to cum."
"I'm cumming, I'm Barry."
I love her Barry even more than the real Barry.
Barry's not cool.
嘿 别闹了 贝卡很爱巴里
Hey, knock it off. Becca loves Barry.
And she's gonna love this baby too because I'm doing my goddamn job
and I need the rest of you to get on board.
That means no more kickboxing and no work.
Petra, nod if you hear me.
Okay, fine, fine.
但她那娇弱的子♥宫♥ 还是可以审阅法律摘要的 好吗？
But her delicate womb can still review briefs, okay?
She's allowed to move her fucking eyeballs, right?
Emmy… I'm going to be real with you.
Your notes are crap, you spend all your time doing imitations--
Impressions. -Taking surveys…
But everyone loves my "Would you rather" board.
It makes them want to come to work.
Work should make people want to come to work.
Yeah, but it doesn't.
Let me ask you something, do you even want to be a professional Lovebug?
呃 想吧 但说实话
I guess? But, honestly,
as long as I can still afford my nightly pizza-burrito with my friends,
it's all Gucci, Stanley Tucci.
喂 艾美 你给我闭嘴
Hey, Emmy, shut the fuck up.
What we do here is important.
It's not some bullshit job
that exists just to pay for whatever a pizza-burrito is.
Sonya, pizza-burritos are so good.
Oh my God. I don't care.
Bro! Becca's about to have a fucking baby.
天哪 桑娅 你还好吧？
Whoa. Sonya, are you okay?
I'm fine. I've just got a lot on my plate,
and you, my assistant,
have zero interest in taking anything off of it.
Okay, I'm sorry about your plate.
Damn! What's her problem?
I don't know. I already forgot what she said.
So, how was your date last night with that Addiction Angel?
来嘛 透露一下 我最爱八卦了
Come on, come on, spill the nectar, honey. I am parched.
Did he take you to a romantic restaurant?
Ooh, did he get vulnerable with you over candlelight?
Well, not exactly.
We just sort of got straight to the, uh, boning portion of the evening.
It's totally fine.
And it's also-- It's actually what I wanted… and it's fine.
Mm-mm. No. You're a terrible liar.
Honey, you need someone who will fill your belly with fancy food
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