Tonight, on Pete Versus Life,
今晚 在皮特的糟糕生活
the socially inept would-be sports writer
这位自称是体育新闻记者的社交白♥痴♥
takes on a quite daunting array of top flight opponents.
将要接受来自顶尖对手的巨大挑战
There's his best mate's fiancee, Anna,
这是他的好基友的未婚妻 Anna
whose goal is never to have to use public transport again.
她立志永远不再乘公共交通
Jen, the human rights lawyer who
Jen 一名人♥权♥律师
once threw a carton of natural yoghurt at Tony Blair.
曾经朝布莱尔扔了一盒酸奶
And his ex-flatmate, Jake - he likes the environment,
还有他的前室友 Jake 他热爱自然环境
but he also likes a laugh.
他也很爱笑
Let's see how he gets on in Pete Versus Life.'
擂台上他表现如何 我们拭目以待
Welcome. I'm Colin King.
欢迎收看 我是Colin King
And I'm Terry McIlroy.
我是Terry Mallory
So, we find Pete in a theme bar.
我们发现Pete正待在一个主题酒吧里
What do you think the theme is, Terry?
你觉得那里是什么主题呢 Terry
Well, the world's shittest pub by the looks of it, Colin.
那看着就是世界上最烂的酒吧 Colin
So, on the plus side, it's full of young, pretty girls,
不过好在那里全是年轻漂亮的妹子
or, as we used to say back in the old days, "Crumpet".
或者用老话说 全是"小甜饼"
Well, times have moved on.
时过境迁了
Let's just say "Attractive young women".
我们还是称呼她们"迷人的年轻女郎"吧
Although I believe the term "Bitches" Is now acceptable.
尽管"婊♥子♥"这个词现在也是能用的
Not on TV, Terry.
别在电视上说 Terry
Hi, guys. Hey!
嗨 伙计们 嘿
Oh!
噢
Oh, two.
噢 亲两下
Has anyone got any questions
你们有没有想到什么问题
that they want me to ask Cristiano Ronaldo?
是他们想让我采访C罗的
It's all set for tomorrow.
采访就定在明天
The interview's happening? Brilliant!
你要去采访了 太棒了
Yeah, basically...
对 差不多啦
Excuse me, Pete, but we
抱歉 打断一下 Pete
were having a conversation before you arrived.
你来之前我们正聊着事情呢
Oh, sorry.
噢 抱歉
Unless you think football is more important than our wedding?
除非你觉得足球比我和他的婚礼更重要
No, your wedding's great.
不啊 你们的婚礼才是大事
Thanks. So I was just telling Ollie about the place settings...
谢谢 我正想和Ollie说关于场地布置的事情呢
every table's going to be
每张桌子都要用牛津大学
named after a different college at Oxford,
不同的学院来命名
cos that was such an important part of my life.
因为那是我生命中很重要的一部分
That's a really good idea.
那真的是个好主意
There'll be Brasenose, Pembroke, Jesus, Oriel, Trinity...
有布拉森诺斯 彭布罗克 耶稣 奥里尔 三一
Now,she's mentioned this table
她之前已经提到过
place settings idea before, hasn't she?
布置餐桌这个点子了吧
Yeah, on the 4th of March and the 12th of March.
对 3月4号♥和3月12号♥
It's also the 1♥1♥4♥th time she's
这也是她第1♥1♥4♥次强行提起
crowbarred in the fact that she went to Oxford.
她读过牛津大学的事了
Astonishing to think she was only there for two terms.
令人惊讶的是她只不过在那里上了两学期
And of course the last time they met,
而且上次他们相聚
Pete had to sit through 45 minutes on canapes...
Pete吃了45分钟的小菜
That's right... and an hour a half
没错 然后又是一个半小时
which left very little time for Pete's topics.
然后没多少时间聊Pete喜欢的话题了
There's so much here for Pete to dislike
Pete讨厌她的事情实在太多
on the special vows she's written for Rob to say,
听她讲她给Rob写的婚礼誓词
and that's before we get to the fact that since the engagement,
这还是他们订婚后我们才知道的事情
she's taken to calling Rob...
她开始叫Rob
Bunny! Bunny. Bunny. Bunny. Bunny.
兔宝宝 兔宝宝 兔宝宝 兔宝宝 兔宝宝
Bunny!
兔宝宝
Balliol...
贝列尔
Oh. Work.
噢 工作电♥话♥
Hiya.
你好
Everyone still happy with Amsterdam for the stag weekend?
"单身周末派对"就去阿姆斯特丹 都没问题吧
I'll be perfectly happy
只要我能隔着橱窗里看看妓♥女♥
just to look at prostitutes in shop windows.
我就心满意足了
Well, what's the point of that?
那有什么意思
You get to look at them,
你可以看她们 但她们碰不着你
but because they're behind glass they can't get you.
因为她们都在玻璃后面
Fantastic news, Bunny!
好消息 兔宝宝
Sally can cover for me at work
Sally可以替我的班
I can come to Amsterdam on the stag weekend!
我可以去阿姆斯特丹参加"单身周末"了
Oh, that's brilliant!
噢 那太棒了
We decided if I could swing it, then I should come,
我们本来觉得如果我能换班 我就去
because we're not only lovers but also...
因为我们不光是爱人
best friends.
我们还是最好的朋友
Yeah... well, th-that is brilliant.
是啊 那 那真是太棒了
We can hire bicycles, go to the Van Gogh Museum...
我们可以租一辆自行车去梵高美术馆
It's going to be a scream! So,Pete under pressure.
那一定爽死了 所以 Pete觉得有压力了
What's he got in his locker?
他在想什么呢
Oh, my God! We can visit Anne Frank's house.
天呐 我们还可以去参观安妮弗兰克的家
Oh, I can't come.
噢 我去不了了
What? Why not?
什么 为什么去不了
Uh...
呃
Because of global warming.
因为全球变暖了
What?
什么
Short haul flights are an environmental crime.
短途航♥班♥就是一种对环境的罪行
But I thought it was your idea to go to Amsterdam?
但我以为去阿姆斯特丹是你的主意啊
Yeah, I know, but I've had time to think about it and...
对 我知道 但是我有时间之后想了想
air travel results in 1.5 kilos of carbon dioxide
飞机每飞一英里就会朝地球的大气
being emitted into the Earth's atmosphere for every mile flown,
释放1.5公斤的二氧化碳
and that is unacceptable.
这是不能接受的
But you've... you've got to come,
但是你得 你得来啊
mate. It's... it's my stag weekend.
兄弟 这可是我的"单身周末"派对啊
Yeah, I know but... it's your children's future.
是 我知道 可是 这可是你下一代的未来啊
Just going for a wee.
我出去一会儿
Hi, I'm Chloe. Sorry, I
嗨 我是Chloe 抱歉
I couldn't help overhearing what you were saying,
我刚不小心偷听到了刚才你说的话
and I think it's fantastic that you're not going on your friend's
然后我觉得你为了保护环境才不去
stag weekend for the sake of the environment.
你朋友周末的单身派对实在是太棒了
It's just something I'm really passionate about.
我就是热爱环保
In fact, that's mine there, left it there earlier.
其实 这本杂♥志♥是我刚才丢在这儿的
Oh, for me the environment is like a religion.
噢 对我来说环保就像是一种信仰
Me too.
我也是
Really like it.
真的就像是我的信仰
Well, Terry, it looks like they wasted no time at all.
好吧 Terry 看起来他们一点都不浪费时间
There's no other way to
不知道该怎么解说这段
put this - they are in the foreplay stages
他们正处在做♥爱♥的
of the act of love-making.
前戏阶段
And look at Pete's face!
看看Pete的表情
She's got her hand on his old man.
她正帮他打着手♥枪♥呢
What a great feeling that is, eh, Colin?
感觉多棒啊 对吧 Colin
Oh, yeah, one of the best.
当然 最棒的那种感觉
Getting the hand wrapped round the old
就像握着那种老式的秃头小丑棒一样爽
bald-headed giggle stick. It's always a magic moment.
这不管如何都是魔法一刻
I remember back in 85,
我记起来85年的时候
I was walking out with a young Anthea Turner...
我正在和正年轻的安西娅特纳散步
Have to stop you there, Terry.
我得打断一下了 Terry
Looks like Pete is going downstairs. Yes!
看起来Pete要往下走了 没错
He's off the fairway and into the rough.
他要放弃"甜蜜亲亲"开始进攻"沼泽森林"了
Aye, yodeling in the canyon.
对 "嘴炮"上膛了
It's not something you'd expect from Pete,
这不是Pete平常会做的事情
not something he's overly fond of, but fair play to the lad,
也不是他特别喜欢的 但是小伙子挺聪明的
he's pulling out all the bells and whistles on this one.
他在利用这个让他恢复一些体力
So, let's take a closer
那么 让我们来凑近点看看他的动作
look at the action. Well, he's resurfaced.
好的 他又重新露脸了
Looks like they're going to go for it - oh, and they're off!
看起来他们要来真格的了 噢 他们开始了
Yeah, and very quickly into a nice rhythm.
没错 而且非常迅速地调整好了节奏
Oh, Pete.
噢 Pete
Listen to Chloe, making some very encouraging noises.
可以听到Chloe发出了非常诱惑撩人的娇呼
Well, he's acquitted himself very well so far, but now
目前为止他表现的非常出色 但是现在
is the crucial phase, this is where discipline really comes in.
才是关键点 是自控力真正发挥作用的时候
Oh, and there's the first indication
噢 到了初期反应了
he may be reaching the finishing line sooner than he'd hoped.
他可能要比他想的更早结束了