美剧 | 贱精姐弟（2014） | 导航列表
Sis, check this out.
Sorry, Dan, got to dash.
丹 抱歉 我赶时间
Mum's got a doctor's appointment,
I've got to pick up some test results.
OK, well, good luck.
Nah, I'll be fine.
The only reason I got the medical in the first place
is cos my company are paying for it.
It's great - you get the day off
and a free Pap smear.
Oh, actually, speaking of work shit,
could you maybe do me a favour and drop this off at my office?
The coffee machine?
I borrowed it three months ago
and now people are starting to ask questions.
Mainly, "What happened to that brand-new coffee machine?"
Could you maybe do me a favour in return?
Could I have 500 pounds for a scooter?
It's not just any scooter. It's the X-Whizz 550.
Crazy idea, but have you thought about getting a job
and then paying for it yourself?
Yeah, but jobs are so boring.
Plus, doing all this scooter research
is kind of a full-time job anyway.
No, it's not. And let's be honest,
anyone who rides a scooter past the age of five is an idiot.
Would you say that to Jeremy Van Blitz -
co-editor of Scooter Weekly?
Because I'm on a forum with him right now
and he seems pretty switched on.
You're not allowed to use my laptop any more.
Hi, Hannah. I'm Dr Jacobi.
汉娜 你好 我是雅克比医生
Hey, doc. I hope you don't mind.
A new barbecue place opened up around the corner,
so I got myself a pulled pork sandwich.
I didn't want it to get cold.
Do you want a bite?
Er, no, thank you.
And you probably shouldn't have any more either.
I'll be blunt, Hannah, you are shockingly unhealthy.
汉娜 我就直说了 你的不健康程度令人震惊
What do you mean?
High blood pressure, high cholesterol,
high sodium levels.
You have the bone density of a 90-year-old refugee.
Come on, Doc.
It's got to be some sort of mistake.
I mean, look at me. I'm a solid nine... 9.5.
I'm in great shape.
Do you exercise at all? Not really.
I do have this recurring dream
where Hugh Grant is chasing me with a machete
and I wake up sweating.
Does that count?
I would um, suggest, Hannah,
that maybe you need to make some adjustments
to your entire lifestyle,
before you end up 35 and getting chest pains
every time you bend over to tie up your shoelaces.
I can't believe I'm getting told how to live my life
by some stupid doctor.
What's going on?
It's Jasper's birthday so management's got him a cake.
So they just buy you guys cake on your birthday?
On top of your salary?
And they do that for everyone?
And how many people work here?
Oh, I don't know. Maybe 30, 40?
That's like a free slice of cake every eight days!
I like those odds.
I don't know why my sister's always badmouthing this place.
Last week, she said it was
where happiness comes to get fucked in the arse.
This is yours, by the way.
Is that our coffee machine? Yeah.
Sorry, who are you?
So rude of me. I'm Dan.
Can you take this, actually, cos I'm...
I'm going to wish Jasper happy birthday.
See if I can score another slice of this sweet cake!
Sis. How was your checkup?
Turns out I've got the cholesterol levels
of a competitive hot dog eater.
Is that not good?
Well, apparently, I'm at risk of obesity, heart disease
显而易见 我面临患肥胖症 心脏病
and something called gravy lung.
Shit. Sounds serious.
I've got to start exercising, drinking water
and eating better, which is bullshit.
I mean, this is a can of chopped tomatoes.
It is literally the closest thing to vegetables
we had in the whole flat.
Well, some good news for you.
I got a job in your office. What?
I dropped off that coffee maker like you asked.
Loved the atmos, asked if they had any jobs going.
What job could you possibly get at an insurance firm?
You have zero qualifications and a criminal record.
That's why I got the job of caretaker.
Technically I'm a cleaner,
but I prefer the title caretaker.
Taking care of business. Mostly cleaning related.
This morning, you said all jobs are boring
and now you want to be a cleaner?
Try and be happy for me, Hannah.
Yesterday, I didn't have a job. Today, I'm a caretaker.
昨日 我属无业游民 今日 我乃管♥理♥员♥
By next week, I'll be head of NASA.
Or at least, one paycheque closer to owning a cool scooter.
What the hell?
Everything all right?
That guy just drenched this machine with his gross sweat
and he didn't even wipe it down.
I'm trying to get fit, not catch hepatitis, you fucking animal!
我是来健身的 不是来得肝炎的 你个畜生
Ooh, yeah! That guy's a real twat!
I heard a rumour that he got banned from the steam room
for trying to squeeze another guy's nut sack.
But to be fair, I also started the rumour,
so it might not be true.
Hey, I'm Lucy.
Not seen you around the gym before.
Well, I'm only here cos my doctor said I had to get healthy,
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