Living in a new town in the 1970s was brilliant.
Everything was brand-new
and I was allowed to stay out for as long as I liked.
It was like living on the Death Star
but without the Stormtroopers...
or the evil.
That's my mum, Brenda.
She's a modern woman, which means she's allowed to get away
with never cooking dinner or dusting.
That's my dad. He's called Tony.
His hobbies are sausages and finding a parking space
in Stevenage town centre on a Saturday morning.
I really like them, except for when they do kissing stuff,
which is just plain wrong.
That's Tim and Jenny. They come over all the time.
Dad says Jenny's a bit half-baked
and Mum says Tim's a bit underdone,
which means they're perfect for each other...
And that's Jane. She's my best friend.
She's mad for hopping.
Everything was perfect, except for one thing,
but I was determined to do something about it.
Julie -- the Darth Vader of Jessop Square.
Secret Whisper? If you don't know it, you're not coming in.
通行暗号♥ 如果你不知道 你就不能进来
She ruled the Rec with a rod of iron
and if you didn't know her Secret Whisper, you were going nowhere.
All my fingers have stopped working.
One day, that fort's going to be mine.
You don't know the Secret Whisper.
Then I'll make up a new Secret Whisper
and then Julie won't be able to get in.
She'll just punch you in the face. No, she won't.
Once you've said Secret Whisper, that's it, it's Secret Whisper.
Is the Secret Whisper going to be
that Nathan Coleman rubs his woolly through a hole in his pocket?
Not "Woolly". Willy.
No, everyone knows that. Don't worry, I'll think a new one up.
不行 所有人都知道了 别担心我会想出新暗号♥来的
But I wasn't the only one having grand ideas.
Shall we have a dinner party, Tony?
No-one's ever had a dinner party on Jessop Square
and everyone else is having them.
I don't know anyone who's having a dinner party.
Well, they're having them in Cosmopolitan. Look.
That's not a dinner party. It's an advert for Scotch.
There's a tiger on the table.
Anyway, what for? And who with?
Did Neil Armstrong ask, "What for?" when they said, "Let's go to the moon!"?
No, he did not. We can ask the Palmers
and Jenny and Tim. We haven't seen them this week.
Yes, that's cos Tim got drunk and fell onto your tits.
That was an accident. Brenda, nobody falls like this.
那是意外 Brenda 没人是这样摔倒的
We're having a dinner party.
But you can't cook. You've never cooked,
apart from that time you tried to boil an egg in a kettle.
Well, of course I won't be cooking. You will.
But I... Mum?
I need to do a really good Secret Whisper, but I'm not sure what.
Why? Because Julie won't let anyone in the fort.
So I'm going to occupy it like when the Nazis occupied France.
Well, I don't think that's anything to aspire to, if I'm honest.
Jane thinks I should make the Secret Whisper about Nathan Coleman
and how he plays with his willy through a hole in his pocket.
How do you know that? He showed me.
Oh Emma, Emma! Do not let boys show you their willies in pockets, Emma.
This is what men do.
Put your foot down now and you'll have a career.
If men had their way, we'd never achieve anything.
We'd all just be standing there, staring at their willies.
Think up a nicer secret.
Anyway, we're having a dinner party, imagine that.
不论如何 我们要办个晚宴 很棒吧
It'll be two hours of frantic cleaning,
then two hours of frantic cooking, just so we can spend two hours
frantically trying to think of things to say.
I mean, how is that a party? Who knows what we're going to eat.
我是说 这算什么宴会 谁知道我们要吃些什么
We should have something posh, something we've never had before.
What about a lasagne, Tony? Look, there's a picture of one.
千层面怎么样 Tony 看 这里就有图片
Lasagne? That's got pasta in it, and not in a tin.
千层面 那里面要意面 还要现做
Brenda, that's madness!
Where am I going to find pasta not in a tin?
It'll be fine. Look, there's mince, bread sauce, lasagne bits,
别担心 看 放点肉末 再加酱汁 再加点面
cheese on top. You're done.
They're both smiling in the picture. They must be enjoying it.
You know mince. You know it! So you're in charge, Tony.
你懂怎么做肉末 所以你当主厨 Tony
I'll phone Jenny and see if they're free tomorrow.
But I don't want to be in charge.
Tony, most men would kill to be in charge.
What the hell do you have with lasagne anyway? Mash? Chips?
千层面要配什么菜 土豆泥 薯条
Hello? Hello, Jenny.
喂 喂 Jenny
Hi. I was... I was wondering whether...
I mean, if you can't live with me,
then why aren't you dead already?
Sorry, Brenda, we are having a bit of a row. Tim has ruined...
抱歉 Brenda 我们有点小矛盾 Tim毁了
my best blouse. Ruined! Going out.
我最好的衬衫 毁了 我出去了
Be back by seven. I'm cooking lamb. Mint sauce?
七点前回来 我做羔羊肉 放薄荷酱
Yes, of course, mint sauce! I'm not an idiot!
Right, he's gone. Hello!
Hello. I have had a brilliant idea.
Like when we painted our eyebrows on with fence varnish?
No, a proper one.
We haven't had a fun day in ages,
so I'm going to have a dinner party.
A dinner party?
Yeah, it's a party where you have dinner. It will be giddy,
like that time we thought we saw David Cassidy in Woolworths.
What about that stick with dead strong onion stuff and loads of butter?
You mean garlic bread?
Oh, yeah. How do you make that?
I don't know. I'm ten. Oh, yeah.
不知道 我才十岁 是哦
Oh, Jenny, are you OK?
Oh, yes, fine. Just a bit full of feelings.
Well, my dinner party will cheer you up.
We'll pick you up in the morning, make a day of it,
go over to the mausoleum in St Albans,
dinner party in the evening. Ooh!
Great! I'll invite the Palmers. See you tomorrow.
太好了 我去邀请Plamer一家 明天见
Have they had another row?
Nothing your lasagne won't fix. Oh, come on, Tony!
没有什么是你的千层面解决不了的 来吧 Tony
First dinner party in Jessop Square. We're setting the standard,
raising the bar. Now, what am I going to wear?
I could come and help you choose, if you like.
Something that says, "Hello. I'm fabulous."
Basically, the fashion equivalent of lasagne,
but maybe not so many layers.
You know how to make lasagne, really, don't you, Dad?
Hello, hello! Let the fun day commence!
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